The Magic Thetan
Patron with Honors
You Are Source
This is the title on one of my Chronicles, but I feel a duty to give a few excerpts as this Chronicle will not hit the air waves for some time.
I am VERY AWARE of the HORRORS of organizational Scientology.
I am VERY PAINFULLY aware of org insanities.
I am VERY AWARE of Ron’s shortcomings, his stupidity, insanity, ego and astounding ability to create crap and misery for others under the guise of assisting them along a "bridge to total freedom" that instead lead them into total misery.
I am VERY AWARE of the insanity of setting himself up, and allowing others to set him up as Source, not source of the subjects he developed, but source, period. I AM VERY AWARE OF HIM LIVING, BUT NOT SAYING, the old Catholic insanity that asserted “I am the Lord Thy God and Thou Shall Have No Gods Before Me”
I am VERY AWARE of the misery, and I could go on for MANY MANY MANY Chronicles detailing the times of pain and misery so intense it defies the power of works to describe.
But in an attempt to lighten up that pain and suffering, I have often said to others, “I tried misery and I didn’t like it, so I gave it up.” God how I wish that were true. How I wish I had, and everybody had totally given it up. For the pain, and the tears and the anger, and the frustration, knock at the door of my consciousness every moment of every day. Every day, the old visions of horror invite me to focus my attention on the old insanities, and the pain and suffering of so many beautiful people. But I seek to say, “I hear you. I hear your invitation to bask in the misery. And I hear your invitation to tell others of the misery so they will not fall into the insidious trap of seeking treasure where there is only trash, or even worse, where there is good stuff that leads you unexpectedly into the trash when you were told you would get free.
Every minute of every day, my mind invites me to focus on the crap, but when I do, I just feel pain, and that pain alloys my ability to make people smile. So I tend to say to the invitations to jump back into the shit, “Thanks. It’s an enticing invitation, and yes, it may have some value, but no thanks.”
And God please don’t think I am trying to teach you that this is the right way to do things, because I am not. I am not signing the opening song of my Ego Wars film script, (to the old tune of “My Dog’s Better Than Your Dog”), that asserts that, “My truths better than your truth. My truths better than yours. You had better take my truth, or I’ll be no friend of yours.”
My truth is not better that your truth, My truth is just my truth. (and I’m not saying that that truth is better than yours.)
I started writing this because of a personal message from a beautiful being I know on the ESMB site as Gottabrain. It’s a great name for her in my opinion, because she certainly has a brain, and a LOT more than that.
In a response to my Birthday announcement, (Post # 10) she originated the following:
“Hi Johnny!!
Its already the 4th here in Australia, so I'll have to wish you a Happy Birthday again tomorrow!
But I have a request, Johnny...
I know you like to make people feel good and there are a few stories you can tell on here that would make every single person here feel good.
So if you haven't finished writing the next Chronicle, can you please tell one of the stories of one of the times you blew things up over there at the C of S? I remember a half dozen just from AOLA - GOD we were laughing over there in Treasury seeing the C/O and Enid Byrne getting all red-faced or pale when you disrupted the order and control. Mike Silverman adored you, though... and for those moments when you did that, we felt free to be ourselves, and not the slave laborers of a controlling, abusive organization.
Because you shook that place up more times than I can count, better than any Anon I know. You never agreed to the controls and rules and for that, you are a hero and I thank you.”
In response to her request, I submitted a fun story about the difference between REALLY KNOWIN & ONLY BELIVIN. (Post # 67)
I replied:
OK OK OK
But you have to send me a private message telling me who you are, a brief history of you in Scientology, and a phone number where I can reach you. I spent three and a half years in Perth, and I loved it. Wait until you hear the Aussie stories, when I get that far in my Chronicles.
I've had less than a couple of hours sleep and I have to be out by 10AM, but your post is so delightful, I'll tell you a story:
This is true.
I have always LOVED the beauty of the speech of some of the heartwarming black people, and the pure love they permeated into the atmosphere.
It pissed me off when Disney had to remove the movie :Song of the South", because some people felt the black people were being degraded by old accents, mannerisms and the voice of Uncle Remus. It is such a shame to see that kind of loving, beautiful speech become so socially unacceptable.
Well, I may get into some shit telling this (although I keep trying to learn not to postulate that) but here goes.
I was riding out in the country way beyond Magic Mountain one Sunday and I went by this typical white country church, and out of it was coming the most incredible music. So I made a sharp U-Turn, parked the car, and went up into the church.
"Come on in Brother!, a big black man said welcoming me into the church and family, even though I was the only white guy there.
Some moments later I was in pure delight - singing with the choir and the congregation about the glories of life and the Lord.
Then this big preacher gets up in front of the congregation and says in that wonderful - powerful - Black Uncle Remus kind of voice -
"Ta Day. I'eees goina tell ya the DIFFERENCE between really knowin and only believin."
(Pardon me if I don't get the spelling correct. I'm a lousy speller, and I really don't know how to do justice with the accents. It works much better with me telling it live, so come and visit so I can. Anyway to continue.)
"Sister Sarah", he says. I wants ya to comes up here with your thirteen chillen"
And the gal comes up with thirteen kids, two in her arms, and every other size you can imagine.
Then he says,
"Brother Joe, I wants ya to comes up here too." That's her husband.
Then the preacher address the congregation.
"Now you all see sister Sarah here with her thirteen chillen?" he asks
"Amen, Yeah!! We sees her!", the congregation replies in an acknowledgment that puts white congregations to shame.
"Now sister Sarah here, she really KNOWS that thems her chillen!!!
"But Brother Joe here, he only believes!!!"
Then I went to respond to her personal message, and that prompted me to write this. (Yet another of The Magic Thetan’s unendurably long posts.)
In her post she said:
The thing is, the Scientology you remember (60's) is not the Scientology most of us know or the Scientology used by the Church of Scientology since that time. So its a bit of a dirty word to most of us and brings back horrible memories of being abused by the church. Those practicing Scientology in the free way that you do call themselves "Free Zoners". So if you can refer to it as "60's Scientology" or something like that and try to give yourself personal credit for the things that are your own and if you can make a definite statement about being against the abuses of the Church of Scientology and not being part of it, you would not be getting any bullets at all.
In her PM just before that she said:
“I was a nanny and saw horrendous conditions there for the children, which I still speak out against.”
That one really got to me, for it triggered all the misery I had gone through with my wife on that subject, and all I had done to try and assist her, and myself, out of the anger and upsets those kinds of memories restimulated.
So In my reply to Gottabrain, I said, “My beloved wife Carolyn was in the Child Care Unit and she would go into tears and anger and horrible mis-emotion regarding the insanity, deplorable conditions and abuse. It was horrible, and I would shake with anger, but do all I could to get us back into a feel good condition for I could see no good in basking in the horror of it.
I so validate you for your courage in getting out and telling the story".
I am VERY AWARE that when I tell of some of my OT and life wins it restimulates the intense pain of not having achieved all the things we were promised we would achieve, and all the things we so wanted to achieve, I feel that pain too, for much of what I wanted to achieve I still have not. Yet, I have been blessed with an almost unending stream of miracles and OT experiences, but I am not really OT. I have the experiences, yes, but I do not have the ability to consciously create and experience at will many of these things. Some I can do, but many I cannot. My carpet still will not fly when I tell it to, and even more importantly, the magnitude of love and joy I desire for myself and others does not appear when “The Magic Thetan” tells it to appear.
I would like it if these Chronicles got to be a best selling book that would benefit people and enable them to wave a magic want that makes life better. I would like, and am working on, a Discovery Channel or HBO television series that would dramatize these stories and inspire people. I want this not because I want the joy of being a success (although my ego would like that.) I want this because it gets the story out, the whole story, the good, the bad and the ugly of it. Yet I want this to be something that uplifts people when the tragedy parts are over. I want them to be something that makes them smile, something that makes them feel good, something that offers them a workable way to transform their lives into everything they want them to be. That is what I want for me and for everyone
So in conclusion, let me end this supplementary Chronicle where I started.
I am VERY AWARE of the HORRORS of organizational Scientology.
I am VERY PAINFULLY aware of org insanities.
I am VERY AWARE of Ron’s shortcomings, his stupidity, insanity, ego and astounding ability to create crap and misery for others under the guise of assisting them along a "bridge to total freedom" that instead lead them into total misery.
I am VERY AWARE of the insanity of setting himself up, and allowing others to set him up as Source, not source of the subjects he developed, but Source, period. I AM VERY AWARE OF HIM LIVING, BUT NOT SAYING, the old Catholic insanity that asserted “I am the Lord Thy God and Thou Shall Have No Gods Before Me”
I am VERY AWARE that YOU ARE SOURCE, not Ron, not the tech, and not any tech that ever has or ever will exist anywhere.
You are SOURCE, and I am source.
Ant that’s my truth, whether you choose to harmonize with it or not.
So what do you say we source the life we want for us, and then set up some deliciously, enticing and entertaining invitations for everyone do the same.
Love,
The Magic Thetan
Ron was not Source - The Tech was not Source - You are Source
The Johnny Raff Chronicles Supplement
The Scientology Years
The Johnny Raff Chronicles Supplement
The Scientology Years
This is the title on one of my Chronicles, but I feel a duty to give a few excerpts as this Chronicle will not hit the air waves for some time.
I am VERY AWARE of the HORRORS of organizational Scientology.
I am VERY PAINFULLY aware of org insanities.
I am VERY AWARE of Ron’s shortcomings, his stupidity, insanity, ego and astounding ability to create crap and misery for others under the guise of assisting them along a "bridge to total freedom" that instead lead them into total misery.
I am VERY AWARE of the insanity of setting himself up, and allowing others to set him up as Source, not source of the subjects he developed, but source, period. I AM VERY AWARE OF HIM LIVING, BUT NOT SAYING, the old Catholic insanity that asserted “I am the Lord Thy God and Thou Shall Have No Gods Before Me”
I am VERY AWARE of the misery, and I could go on for MANY MANY MANY Chronicles detailing the times of pain and misery so intense it defies the power of works to describe.
But in an attempt to lighten up that pain and suffering, I have often said to others, “I tried misery and I didn’t like it, so I gave it up.” God how I wish that were true. How I wish I had, and everybody had totally given it up. For the pain, and the tears and the anger, and the frustration, knock at the door of my consciousness every moment of every day. Every day, the old visions of horror invite me to focus my attention on the old insanities, and the pain and suffering of so many beautiful people. But I seek to say, “I hear you. I hear your invitation to bask in the misery. And I hear your invitation to tell others of the misery so they will not fall into the insidious trap of seeking treasure where there is only trash, or even worse, where there is good stuff that leads you unexpectedly into the trash when you were told you would get free.Every minute of every day, my mind invites me to focus on the crap, but when I do, I just feel pain, and that pain alloys my ability to make people smile. So I tend to say to the invitations to jump back into the shit, “Thanks. It’s an enticing invitation, and yes, it may have some value, but no thanks.”
And God please don’t think I am trying to teach you that this is the right way to do things, because I am not. I am not signing the opening song of my Ego Wars film script, (to the old tune of “My Dog’s Better Than Your Dog”), that asserts that, “My truths better than your truth. My truths better than yours. You had better take my truth, or I’ll be no friend of yours.”
My truth is not better that your truth, My truth is just my truth. (and I’m not saying that that truth is better than yours.)
I started writing this because of a personal message from a beautiful being I know on the ESMB site as Gottabrain. It’s a great name for her in my opinion, because she certainly has a brain, and a LOT more than that.
In a response to my Birthday announcement, (Post # 10) she originated the following:
“Hi Johnny!!
Its already the 4th here in Australia, so I'll have to wish you a Happy Birthday again tomorrow!
But I have a request, Johnny...
I know you like to make people feel good and there are a few stories you can tell on here that would make every single person here feel good.
So if you haven't finished writing the next Chronicle, can you please tell one of the stories of one of the times you blew things up over there at the C of S? I remember a half dozen just from AOLA - GOD we were laughing over there in Treasury seeing the C/O and Enid Byrne getting all red-faced or pale when you disrupted the order and control. Mike Silverman adored you, though... and for those moments when you did that, we felt free to be ourselves, and not the slave laborers of a controlling, abusive organization.
Because you shook that place up more times than I can count, better than any Anon I know. You never agreed to the controls and rules and for that, you are a hero and I thank you.”
In response to her request, I submitted a fun story about the difference between REALLY KNOWIN & ONLY BELIVIN. (Post # 67)
I replied:
OK OK OK
But you have to send me a private message telling me who you are, a brief history of you in Scientology, and a phone number where I can reach you. I spent three and a half years in Perth, and I loved it. Wait until you hear the Aussie stories, when I get that far in my Chronicles.
I've had less than a couple of hours sleep and I have to be out by 10AM, but your post is so delightful, I'll tell you a story:
This is true.
I have always LOVED the beauty of the speech of some of the heartwarming black people, and the pure love they permeated into the atmosphere.
It pissed me off when Disney had to remove the movie :Song of the South", because some people felt the black people were being degraded by old accents, mannerisms and the voice of Uncle Remus. It is such a shame to see that kind of loving, beautiful speech become so socially unacceptable.
Well, I may get into some shit telling this (although I keep trying to learn not to postulate that) but here goes.
I was riding out in the country way beyond Magic Mountain one Sunday and I went by this typical white country church, and out of it was coming the most incredible music. So I made a sharp U-Turn, parked the car, and went up into the church.
"Come on in Brother!, a big black man said welcoming me into the church and family, even though I was the only white guy there.
Some moments later I was in pure delight - singing with the choir and the congregation about the glories of life and the Lord.
Then this big preacher gets up in front of the congregation and says in that wonderful - powerful - Black Uncle Remus kind of voice -
"Ta Day. I'eees goina tell ya the DIFFERENCE between really knowin and only believin."
(Pardon me if I don't get the spelling correct. I'm a lousy speller, and I really don't know how to do justice with the accents. It works much better with me telling it live, so come and visit so I can. Anyway to continue.)
"Sister Sarah", he says. I wants ya to comes up here with your thirteen chillen"
And the gal comes up with thirteen kids, two in her arms, and every other size you can imagine.
Then he says,
"Brother Joe, I wants ya to comes up here too." That's her husband.
Then the preacher address the congregation.
"Now you all see sister Sarah here with her thirteen chillen?" he asks
"Amen, Yeah!! We sees her!", the congregation replies in an acknowledgment that puts white congregations to shame.
"Now sister Sarah here, she really KNOWS that thems her chillen!!!
"But Brother Joe here, he only believes!!!"
Then I went to respond to her personal message, and that prompted me to write this. (Yet another of The Magic Thetan’s unendurably long posts.)
In her post she said:
The thing is, the Scientology you remember (60's) is not the Scientology most of us know or the Scientology used by the Church of Scientology since that time. So its a bit of a dirty word to most of us and brings back horrible memories of being abused by the church. Those practicing Scientology in the free way that you do call themselves "Free Zoners". So if you can refer to it as "60's Scientology" or something like that and try to give yourself personal credit for the things that are your own and if you can make a definite statement about being against the abuses of the Church of Scientology and not being part of it, you would not be getting any bullets at all.
In her PM just before that she said:
“I was a nanny and saw horrendous conditions there for the children, which I still speak out against.”
That one really got to me, for it triggered all the misery I had gone through with my wife on that subject, and all I had done to try and assist her, and myself, out of the anger and upsets those kinds of memories restimulated.
So In my reply to Gottabrain, I said, “My beloved wife Carolyn was in the Child Care Unit and she would go into tears and anger and horrible mis-emotion regarding the insanity, deplorable conditions and abuse. It was horrible, and I would shake with anger, but do all I could to get us back into a feel good condition for I could see no good in basking in the horror of it.
I so validate you for your courage in getting out and telling the story".
I am VERY AWARE that when I tell of some of my OT and life wins it restimulates the intense pain of not having achieved all the things we were promised we would achieve, and all the things we so wanted to achieve, I feel that pain too, for much of what I wanted to achieve I still have not. Yet, I have been blessed with an almost unending stream of miracles and OT experiences, but I am not really OT. I have the experiences, yes, but I do not have the ability to consciously create and experience at will many of these things. Some I can do, but many I cannot. My carpet still will not fly when I tell it to, and even more importantly, the magnitude of love and joy I desire for myself and others does not appear when “The Magic Thetan” tells it to appear.
I would like it if these Chronicles got to be a best selling book that would benefit people and enable them to wave a magic want that makes life better. I would like, and am working on, a Discovery Channel or HBO television series that would dramatize these stories and inspire people. I want this not because I want the joy of being a success (although my ego would like that.) I want this because it gets the story out, the whole story, the good, the bad and the ugly of it. Yet I want this to be something that uplifts people when the tragedy parts are over. I want them to be something that makes them smile, something that makes them feel good, something that offers them a workable way to transform their lives into everything they want them to be. That is what I want for me and for everyone
So in conclusion, let me end this supplementary Chronicle where I started.
I am VERY AWARE of the HORRORS of organizational Scientology.
I am VERY PAINFULLY aware of org insanities.
I am VERY AWARE of Ron’s shortcomings, his stupidity, insanity, ego and astounding ability to create crap and misery for others under the guise of assisting them along a "bridge to total freedom" that instead lead them into total misery.
I am VERY AWARE of the insanity of setting himself up, and allowing others to set him up as Source, not source of the subjects he developed, but Source, period. I AM VERY AWARE OF HIM LIVING, BUT NOT SAYING, the old Catholic insanity that asserted “I am the Lord Thy God and Thou Shall Have No Gods Before Me”
I am VERY AWARE that YOU ARE SOURCE, not Ron, not the tech, and not any tech that ever has or ever will exist anywhere.
You are SOURCE, and I am source.
Ant that’s my truth, whether you choose to harmonize with it or not.
So what do you say we source the life we want for us, and then set up some deliciously, enticing and entertaining invitations for everyone do the same.Love,
The Magic Thetan
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