A Response to FoTi Post Number 4502 Page 451 - 7 August 2010
The Old Days Aboard the Apollo - 1973

Dear FoTi:

Thank you so much for your enjoyment of my posts, and for your desire to read them. That means the world to me, and I sincerely apologize for not making them all available to you. I don‘t want you to wait either. It actually pains me to think I have invited you to feel an absence of something you want. May I invite you to shift your attention to things that make you feel good, and then bask in the delicious anticipation of the wonderful things that will be there as time goes on. One of the lovely things I got out of reading “Ask and It Is Given by Esther and Jerry Hicks (The Teachings of Abraham) was the idea that desire was not the longing for something that was absent, but the delicious anticipation of what was to come.

In answer to your question, “Can’t you just post here the Chronicles you’ve already written”?
The answer is of course, yes I could, but for many reasons, I choose not to do that at this time.
If you care, here are my reasons:
1) I have a desire to be happy on an ongoing basis, and it appears that I have violated two rules for happy living that I feel are correct.
The two rules are in L Ron Hubbard’s book entitled “Scientology, A New Slant of Life” book. The article is entitled “TWO RULES FOR HAPPY LIVING”, and in my copy of the book, it begins on page 23. The rules he gives at the beginning of the article are:
1. Be able to experience anything.
2. Cause only those things which others can experience easily.

In posting my 1st Chronicle entitled "DISCOVERING THAT YOU ARE OT NOW", on the 28th of July 2010, I violated rule number 2, and I subsequently discovered that I was not able to comfortably experience some of the responses to that posting.
So I need to do some work on myself, and that is exactly what I am doing. I am working to increase my ability to be able to comfortably experience any responses as they occur.

In my Johnny Raff Chronicle Chapter-10, entitled “RESPONSE-ABILITY, I define RESPONSE-ABILITY as follows. “The ability to respond in a FEEL GOOD manner to anything that does or does not happen in your life.”

By that definition, I need to do more work developing my ability to respond in a FEEL GOOD way to whatever does or does not happen when I post something on ESMB.

The discovery of my less that feel good responses to some of my postings has also brought me to a few rather unpleasant discoveries:
1) I am not the Grade-0 Communications release that I thought I was. I am apparently not able to listen comfortably to what anyone has to say.
I also did not respond in a feel good, comfortable manner to some of the communications I received after my ESMB postings, so, in truth, I still have work to do to get to the point where I consistently respond positively to any communications I receive.
2) I am not flat on TR-0 Bullbate, for I still am somewhat reactive to invalidation, false accusations and ridicule. (For those unfamiliar with the term, TR-0 stands for Training Routine Number Zero. It is a routine that, among other things, enables you to practice being comfortable in front of another person.
TR-0 Bullbate, is where a coach originates all sorts of communications in an effort to make you uncomfortable. The idea is to give you an opportunity to practice, develop and increase your ability to be comfortable with anything. As you become more proficient, the coach hits you with some pretty nasty communications to see how well you have developed the ability to respond comfortably to these verbal and emotional attacks. If the coach is being true to the intent of the exercise, all of this “bull baiting” will bring you to the point where you are “Willing to experience anything” comfortably. Flat means that you no longer react in any “feel bad“ way.)
My discovery that I did not respond well to some of the responses to my Johnny Raff Chronicle Chapter -1, clearly indicated that I need to re-train, and re-do expanded Grade - 0 to a real world, chronically stable result. It also indicates that I need to increase my ability to comfortably perceive things, and I need to increase my ability and willingness to experience anything.

In alignment with that, by the power invested in me by me,
I hereby cancel all of my certificates as an auditor, and I relinquish any status as an OT. (An Operating Thetan - an operational spiritual being who is completely cause over life.)
I also wish to relinquish my Avionics (Space electronics) engineering degree as I am not yet able to engineer my carpet into the air and I relinquish any claim to being a meta or quantum physicist for the same reason.
I do however retain the right to use this degree if I need to, for Carolyn’s three and a half year illness and death devastated our finances and put us into considerable debt. I realize that it is a bit unethical to claim I am an engineer when my engineering skills are not up to par, but I choose to justify this out of a survival need.
I also retain the right to use the OT and the Auditor Class symbols if I need to impress potential clients. I feel justified in doing this, for it appears that I do have the ability to process, train, audit and guide clients to more of the life they want, and less of the life they do not want. For over forty years, I have asked clients if the services they received from me were worth more than the time and money they invested. In forty years, I have only had one person say no, and I refunded their money.

I wish, as much as I am able, to go forth on the exact truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
The labels and symbols can of course give a person a false or inaccurate picture of who and what you are, and what you are and are not able to do.
If you say you are a Class-VIII, or a Class XII Qual auditor, or an OT-VII, or an OT anything, people tend to assume that you have abilities that you may or may not actually have.
Over the years I worked with a lot of Dianetics and Scientology auditors from Class-0 to Class-XII. Many of them were also OT this or that, but it truth, they often didn’t know their ass from a hole in the ground. Sometimes they did, and sometimes they didn’t.
Some, for instance, thought that the TR’s were abilities instead of the truth that they were Training Routines designed to assist one with the goal of orchestrating certain abilities into existence.
Some felt that “The 2D” was a label for the person they were having a romantic relationship with, rather than the fact that it is a symbol for our impulse to have sex and create a family.

So I hereby relinquish all of my titles, degrees and the symbols that I have attached to my name in the past.
Further, I wish to apologize to anyone who got a false, partially false or inaccurate picture of who and what I am based on the automatic assumption they may have made because of the symbols I associated with my name. (i.e. OT-VIII, Class VIII, Class-XII Qual auditor, Bachelor of Science engineer, Master of anything, PhD, or any other symbolic designation that my ego and I put next to my name in an effort to impress someone, or to get them to buy services from me based on the idea that I had a degree and therefore I must be a really able and capable guy.) I relinquish any claim to being an OT. I do have some specific abilities that are out of the ordinary, but I prefer to tell about them as part of the story I will delineate in my Johnny Raff Chronicles autobiography.
I have been diagnosed with prostrate cancer and Diabetes, and I have a number of physical ailments, aches and pains that I have not been able to chronically handle with any supposed OT (God-Like) ability. I have been apparently able to produce some healing miracles at times, but I have not been able to do so chronically. I have what others readily symbolize as “An addiction to sugar” especially my mother’s wonderful deserts. I have written a book called, “Health Food Make Me Sick”, and I work daily to use my “OT Powers” to cure myself despite the fact that it has not chronically worked. Thus I am guilty of the insanity of continuing do the same thing, or a similar thing, and expecting different results. Well sane, or insane, I will continue to work on developing a God-Like ability to cure myself, and as of this writing, I have no intention of ever giving up, despite any ridicule or logic that may come my way. I am open to finding workable ways to pull off my miracle healing ability.

I additionally wish to relinquish any claim of having any special relationship with anyone.
In the past, when people came to visit me, I sometimes showed them an album of pictures of me taken with various celebrities. These included, Jimmy Steward, Gil Gerand, Erik Estrada, Buddy Ebsen, Earl Holliman, Clayton Moore, (The original Lone Ranger), Gene Autry, Jane Seymour, Pia Zadora, Angie Dickinson, Lou Rawls, Dennis Weaver, “Iron Eyes” Cody, Stevie Wonder, Cesar Romero, Dee Wallace Stone, Jonathan Frakes from the crew of the TV series, "The Star Ship Enterprise - The Next Generation", Tony Dow, Rosanne, JoAnn Worley, Ernest Borgnine, Richard Farnsworth (One of the nicest guys one would ever hope to meet.), Richard Moll, Ed Asner, Edward James Olmos, Samuel L. Jackson, Tony Danza, Steve Allen, Doug McClure, Ned Beatty, Ed McMahon, Sammy Davis Jr., Harry (From Harry and the Henderson’s TV series) Pat Morita, Buzz Aldrin (the 2nd man to walk on the moon) Bob Hope, Tony Curtis, The Mission Impossible stars, Dennis O’Conner, Martha Ray, The Monkey’s, Grizzly Adams, Ned Beatty, Phyllis Diller, Little Richard, Mr. T, Debbie Reynolds and others. Hope you are impressed and you want to flow me some admiration, because that is what motivated my ego and I to show the pictures. Not that there is anything wrong with getting admiration. I feel one should get all one can get, but one should not need it, or need to solicit it, especially by attempting to get it by positioning yourself with some celebrities.
In the past, I spoke of my relationships with various celebrities. I told people that I had worked with President Gerald Ford in the creation of a television show honoring his many years of supporting The Boy Scouts of America. Well it’s true, I did do that with President Ford, but the point is, I told the story to get some altitude in the eyes of others, not to simply state something I had been proud to work on. I told people that I co-wrote and co-produced the television program Rebuilding America with Efrem Zimbalist Jr. to impress people, not to simply relate a bit of my resume. I told people of my associations with Walt Disney, Ward Kimball (who created Jimmy Cricket) and L Ron Hubbard. I did this, not simply to tell my story, but to get some admiration via my association with people who accomplished far more than I have. These people were some of my heroes and I wanted to accomplish as much as they did, but I stupidly tried to use them to get ahead instead of just getting ahead.
So I wish to cease doing any of that, and I wish to get back to the level of integrity I had back in the seventies when I was working in the field to see how much of Ron Hubbard’s stuff actually worked.

I had been working out of an apartment in Belmont California with a wonderful gal by the name of Audrey Hills. We had been assisting people to get rid of their unwanted conditions, including unwanted pains, emotions, sensations and attitudes when the phone rang.
'Is this John Rafanello?' the party on the line asked.
“Yes it is“, I replied.
'Well, you don't know me”, the voice began. “But I've got a friend who you don't know either".
“OK“, I responded suppressing an urge to laugh.
"But my friend has a friend who you do know, but I don't remember his name" the guy continued.
"Anyway, I hear you handle migraine headaches”.
‘Well“, I responded, “I have had three people who came to me who said they had migraine headaches who now say they don't have them any more”.
“Well, can you handle my migraine headaches?', the fellow asked.
“All I can tell you,“ I replied, “is that I have had three people who came to me who said they had migraine headaches who say they don't have them any more.
“'Yeah, but can you handle my headaches?”, he repeated
“'In all honesty“, I said. “all I can tell you is that I had three people who came to me who said they had migraine headaches who now say they don't have them anymore“.
“Well what do you do?”, the man asked.
To that I presented a brief explanation of what I did. I explained that what I did was based on the works of L Ron Hubbard, and he replied by saying that he never heard of him.
“Well that’s what I do”, I told him.
To this he replied, “'Will it work on me?', and in the most gracious and friendly manner I could muster I replied, “I don't know. Hubbard claims that is will work on everybody, but I haven't worked with everybody, so I don't know.
:confused2:"All I can honestly and accurately tell you is that there are three people who came to me who said they had migraine headaches who say they don't have them any more".
So the guy decided to do some auditing, and then I had four people who came to me who said they had migraine headaches who say they don't have them any more.
It is now quite apparent to me that I need some work in developing the abilities that an OT is supposed to have. Yes I had a lot of OT experiences, and yes I have some OT abilities, but I am far from being the OT I am supposed to be. So those of you who found it inconsistent that a real OT would not react negatively to some of the ridicule and invalidation I received on ESMB, I wish to say that it looks like you were one hundred percent totally correct.

:liar:So in conclusion, I now wish to represent myself only as someone working to become a true Grade-0 release, and an auditor that can comfortably respond to anything that does or does not happen on ESMB, or in life, in a FEEL GOOD way.
I will continue to represent myself as an auditor (one who can effectively assist others to vanish things they do not want, and make appear things they do), for I do seem to be able to do that in my estimation, and in the estimation of other people I have worked with. However, I will no longer claim to be a high classed auditor, a clear or an OT of any kind. I will no longer claim any special association with anyone.
Some of you may choose to consider I am being facetious and not sincere, and that is of course your right. I am however sincere about what I have said whether you choose to believe it or not. (And if your choose to negatively judge me for any of my choices, I will work to get comfortably able to experience that, and thank you for the opportunity to do so.)


Thank you all for your love and support that I have received.
I am learning, or at least I hope I am.
Who knows, one day I may even become the OT I dream of being.
Love
John Rafanello
The Magic Thetan