ESMB has entered archive mode. All posts and threads that were available to the general public are still readable. The board is still searchable. 

Thank you all for your participation and readership over the last 12 years.

If you want to join in the conversation, please join the new ESMB Redux at

Time to say goodbye

Discussion in 'ESMB Public Announcements' started by Emma, Sep 8, 2019.

  1. I told you I was trouble

    I told you I was trouble Suspended animation

    Well ... that's eleven years of my life I'm never going to get back!

    Thank you all for the friendship, the stories and most of all ... for the laughter.



    freethinker and tesseract like this.
  2. strativarius

    strativarius Inveterate gnashnab & snoutband

    @AnonyMary, I've done the odd bit of computer programming from time to time, but if I ever learn how to navigate and glean information from the internet a fraction as efficiently as you do I'll die a happy man. You're awesome.
    Lurker5 likes this.
  3. Nofanfare

    Nofanfare New Member

    I didn't post much but appreciate all that was done here. Thanks for everything.
  4. Xenu Xenu Xenu

    Xenu Xenu Xenu Patron Meritorious

    Time marches on and the countdown is getting real.

    I'll see some of you on the other side, no doubt.
    freethinker, Churchill and tesseract like this.
  5. Dulloldfart

    Dulloldfart Squirrel Extraordinaire

    That's the funny thing about the Other Side. Some of those there can see you but you can't easily see them, although you may be somewhat aware of their presence. Spooky.

  6. Xenu Xenu Xenu

    Xenu Xenu Xenu Patron Meritorious

    Okay. One more time.

    Tanchi likes this.
  7. Cat's Squirrel

    Cat's Squirrel Gold Meritorious Patron

    I've been saving this one for my last post, but I may still post again if I think of something else to say;

    Anyway Emma, thanks for the board and the last 12 years of posting. To everyone who's posted here and helped to make the board the amazing place it's been over the time it's been up, all the best for the future.
    AnonyMary likes this.
  8. afaceinthecrowd

    afaceinthecrowd Gold Meritorious Patron

    OMG!:yay: I've pretty much been only reading this thread the last few days and, being kinda slow on the uptake, I saw some mention of a new Board but thought it was kidding around. :modest: How, where, when do I join-up with this new outfit?

    Thank you, Veda for your warm thoughts.

    I'm humbled and happy that Shooting Stars will be available on ESM2, as well as here.

    Whatever the occasion, Stooky's "Wedding Song" is appropriate, IMHO...It's the best thing or anyone--ever wrote, and no one performs it better than Stooky.

    Last edited: Sep 29, 2019
  9. strativarius

    strativarius Inveterate gnashnab & snoutband

    Click on the link at the top of the main page face. I'm glad you're going to be there!"
    freethinker and Aerial like this.
  10. afaceinthecrowd

    afaceinthecrowd Gold Meritorious Patron

    Done! Thanks a whole bunch, Strati...Yet again, an ESMBer helps me find my way. :cheers2:

  11. Axiom142

    Axiom142 Gold Meritorious Patron

    I joined ESMB in May 2008. This was a very confusing and depressing time for me. I had been a Scientologist (mostly as ‘public’ by also 18 months in the Sea Org) for 22 years and knew it didn’t work. I had wasted many of the best years of my life studying and receiving Scientology, not to mention a lot of money – totalling everything up (at today’s prices), including auditing, training, freeloader bill, IAS and sundry other donations and expenses and loss of interest on investments and I reckon it would be £125,000+.

    I knew that I couldn’t continue – but at the same time I couldn’t see a way forward, it seemed like my whole world had been pulled away from under me. I had started lurking on ESMB sometime in mid-late 2007 and what I had learned greatly contributed to my realisation that I could not stay in the cult. It was Emma’s post about Not Staying on the Fence that convinced me that I should stop messing round and make that final break by asking for all the money I had left on account, back – effectively a resignation from the CoS.

    ESMB gave me a place where I could freely communicate with others who might have very different backgrounds but at the same time shared so much in our experiences. I’m not sure how well I would have survived had I not had ESMB, or rather the support of all the wonderful people who came here. No one who has not gone through what we did, can ever truly understand, I think.

    I have almost posted My Story here half a dozen times, but then I would read of someone else experiences which were way worse than mine and I thought, “What am I complaining about?” and then not bother.

    In truth, there isn’t much to tell, at least not much that hasn’t been told by someone else a hundred times – I was at a low point in my life, got sucked into the cult with the promise of fixing all my problems, got sold more and more of the con, joined the Sea Org, realised it wasn’t as advertised, left the Sea Org, came back as public, paid loads of money for courses and then auditing and then more auditing, got into ethics trouble for questioning why it didn’t seem to work and also looking for answers on the web and then finally realised that it didn’t work – at least not for me.

    I might put the long version of it on a blog or some other Scientology forum someday…

    Although I have not said much or even read ESMB over the past few years, I am very sad that it is coming to a close. But I am very relieved that it will remain in an archive state for the next X years. There is a huge wealth of data that will be very useful to – well lots of people we don’t even know about.

    As I was going through all my old PMs and copying and saving them, I was reminded of a great number of people I have connected with, many of whom I had almost forgotten existed. I was gratified to recall that many have moved on and left Scientology way behind them and got on with their lives.

    Yes, Scientology as an organization still remains, but it is greatly reduced in power and membership compared to a decade ago. And it certainly is not delivering the ‘core services’ that is supposedly the whole reason for its existence, it is just a device for extracting as much money as possible from those still trapped inside. This is due in large part to the efforts of all those who stood up and told the truth, on ESMB and elsewhere. Given human nature, there will always be willing victims to sign up for the next Great Con (be it Scientology or some other cult or even some miracle investment / cure or whatever). But the numbers are hugely reduced and now everyone who is willing to look has the opportunity to educate themselves and make informed choices. We have achieved something remarkable.

    So here we are then, time to say goodbye.

    Axiom142 signing off - it was a helluva ride, wasn’t it?

    My YouTube channel :
    Bill, Churchill and Operating DB like this.
  12. ILove2Lurk

    ILove2Lurk Lisbeth Salander

    . . .
    My last hurrah.


  13. afaceinthecrowd

    afaceinthecrowd Gold Meritorious Patron

    Well, as usual, I've gotten in my own way and now I've run out the time & care I wanted to take to bid fond au revoir to all here.

    It would take a list longer than giraffe's leg to name all the Folks here that helped, I learned from and laugh, cry and snort at the same time.

    It's probably a good thing I've gotta finish packing my car and hit the road on a 6 hour drive as I tend to get maudlin at times like this (gotto walkabout scheduled go visit kids, grandkids & friends, etc.).

    I've expressed how I feel about this Board, all Y'all' now, gone and passed...and Emma and pretty much summed best I this Post today to Emma.

    I tried to write Shooting Stars, as best I could, about Hisself, what I saw happen and all the fine--and the few not so fine--Folks I crossed paths with, interacted with and knew well "Back in the Days". I wrote it to tell other Ex's what they had payed the price for and earned the right to know, to pay homage to some very fine Folks that deserve "Props" and to lay "down my burden".

    It would not have been written without this Board. It would not have been written without all Y'all's help, encouragement and participation. This Board is Shooting Stars home...A small cluster of my Tiles amongst all the myriad of brilliant, unique and essential Tiles of the Mosaic so many of Us have cast down over the years. IMHO, Shooting Stars is an "organic" collaboration of ESMBers.

    So many serendipitous, wonderful and magical moments have happened for me here. Of all those moments, Cowboy's arrival and the existing presence of Dart Smohen & Alan Walter and the Tiles Cowboy, Dart and Alan cast down were the most personally "Holy Effen Ess" to me. They are MUST reads!

    So much heartrending, heartwarming, heart changing and heart cleansing Dialogues, Stories and Documentation resides here.

    Here...Now and into the future...The most Complete, Concise and Correct Rendering of the Mosaic, anywhere, period.

    A Rendering possible because of each and every tile cast down by each and every one of US.

    My Very Best Wishes, Always In All Ways,


    PS: There's a song that I listened to over and over as I was wandering my way out from under "The Spell".

    I share it now as my closing thoughts on ESMB.

    Last edited: Sep 30, 2019
  14. Type4_PTS

    Type4_PTS Diamond Invictus SP

    For twenty years after leaving Scientology I didn't feel I had anyone I could talk to (that would understand) about my time in Scientology. ESMB was tremendously beneficial for me in so many ways.

    Thank-you to all the contributors past and present who made it what it is, all the Admin's & Mod's over the years that helped, and @Emma, thank-you for creating this forum, keeping it going so many years. You might of got the impression I wasn't overly happy in these final days :cool: but I do greatly and genuinely appreciate all you've done and wishing for you an awesome retirement. This place was truly life-changing for me, in a positive way.

    I'm about to go off on advanced research and hope to see many of you on Target Two! :heartflower:
  15. Emma

    Emma Con te partirò Administrator

    Yeah I kinda got the hint. :lol:

    See you on the other side!
    Lurker5 likes this.
  16. lotus

    lotus stubborn rebel sheep!

    Thank fou Emma for that great internet site you creared and , with help of staff and posters, kept alive for 12 years; that is pretty awesome.
    As one who had a message board and also moderated other boards I gave up after 2 years and was totally done. People often don't have any idea of what an admin must deal with on a daily basis.

    It is time to fully go back to you real life and enjoy your roles and people you love and you will love.

    Even if we has disagreements recently and I didn't get what you wanted to achieve, I still am and will always be grateful for what you have done and made possible, the courage it took and for all ESMB had contributed in my personnal evolution and Scientology graduation.

    All those people this site had greatly help are certainly thousands and thousands who are not here to thank you and people involved.

    My very best wishes for a happy life, a good health and few babies to hold in jour armé, as new young grand-ma.

    Best to you M
    Last edited: Sep 30, 2019
    Little David likes this.
  17. Lurker5

    Lurker5 Gold Meritorious Patron

  18. Mimsey Borogrove

    Mimsey Borogrove Crusader

    Oh, how bout a little Blood, Sweat and Tears before we all sing Old lang syne, and pop the champagne corks...

  19. Emma

    Emma Con te partirò Administrator

    Can we have a few folks in chat? Some real time conversation might be nice to go out with.
  20. Mimsey Borogrove

    Mimsey Borogrove Crusader

    He doesn't have much time left to say adieu...

    Enthetan likes this.