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Time to say goodbye


Inveterate gnashnab & snoutband
Sheila, I asked ethercat about this claim you are making, alleging the original thread either she or another mod had deleted some of your posts. She's never deleted anything of yours and does not believe anyone else did. What she has done is move some of posts to the Grudge Match section, and broken up long threads into OP titled numbered parts
She also said that inactive threads automatically go into an archive state, but they are still on the forum.

I easily found your OP thread by Google search. I didn't bother with the search function here, as I have found that it doesen't do a good job. I just searched uusing Google's format for a website search, using full title in quotes, and it came right up. Here is your OP thread link, along with a link to part 2. Try it using searching this wayon Google

site:forum.exscn.net "How many people went type III (ie. had a Psychotic Break) in your org?"



BTW, It is irritating to see how you easily blame ethercat for things you can't find. Try learning how to find things, and then practicing it, so you won't have to assume someone else is to blame. BTW, she doesn't hate you, or not like you. She, like other mods, treated your posts like she did anyone else's. If they violated the rules, or belonged in the Grudge Match section, then then action was taken.
@AnonyMary, I've done the odd bit of computer programming from time to time, but if I ever learn how to navigate and glean information from the internet a fraction as efficiently as you do I'll die a happy man. You're awesome.

Xenu Xenu Xenu

Patron Meritorious
Okay. One more time.


Cat's Squirrel

Gold Meritorious Patron
I've been saving this one for my last post, but I may still post again if I think of something else to say;

Anyway Emma, thanks for the board and the last 12 years of posting. To everyone who's posted here and helped to make the board the amazing place it's been over the time it's been up, all the best for the future.


Gold Meritorious Patron
It's really good to hear from you.

The feeling is mutual.

More than mutual.

When the dust is settled, will start a Shooting Stars | Ex Scientologist Message Board thread - and other threads of yours - over on ESMB2, so others can benefit from your experience, your wisdom, and your kindness.

Was looking for a Peter, Paul, and Mary song, but came upon this Noel Paul Stookey performance.

OMG!:yay: I've pretty much been only reading this thread the last few days and, being kinda slow on the uptake, I saw some mention of a new Board but thought it was kidding around. :modest: How, where, when do I join-up with this new outfit?

Thank you, Veda for your warm thoughts.

I'm humbled and happy that Shooting Stars will be available on ESM2, as well as here.

Whatever the occasion, Stooky's "Wedding Song" is appropriate, IMHO...It's the best thing or anyone--ever wrote, and no one performs it better than Stooky.

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Inveterate gnashnab & snoutband
OMG!:yay: I've pretty much been only reading this thread the last few days and, being kinda slow on the uptake, I saw some mention of a new Board but thought it was kidding around. :modest: How, where, when do I join-up with this new outfit?

Thank you, Veda for your warm thoughts.

I'm humbled and happy that Shooting Stars will be available on ESM2, as well as here.

Whatever the occasion, Stooky's is appropriate, IMHO...It's the best thing or anyone--ever wrote, and no one performs it better than Stooky.

Click on the link at the top of the main page face. I'm glad you're going to be there!"


Gold Meritorious Patron
I joined ESMB in May 2008. This was a very confusing and depressing time for me. I had been a Scientologist (mostly as ‘public’ by also 18 months in the Sea Org) for 22 years and knew it didn’t work. I had wasted many of the best years of my life studying and receiving Scientology, not to mention a lot of money – totalling everything up (at today’s prices), including auditing, training, freeloader bill, IAS and sundry other donations and expenses and loss of interest on investments and I reckon it would be £125,000+.

I knew that I couldn’t continue – but at the same time I couldn’t see a way forward, it seemed like my whole world had been pulled away from under me. I had started lurking on ESMB sometime in mid-late 2007 and what I had learned greatly contributed to my realisation that I could not stay in the cult. It was Emma’s post about Not Staying on the Fence that convinced me that I should stop messing round and make that final break by asking for all the money I had left on account, back – effectively a resignation from the CoS.

ESMB gave me a place where I could freely communicate with others who might have very different backgrounds but at the same time shared so much in our experiences. I’m not sure how well I would have survived had I not had ESMB, or rather the support of all the wonderful people who came here. No one who has not gone through what we did, can ever truly understand, I think.

I have almost posted My Story here half a dozen times, but then I would read of someone else experiences which were way worse than mine and I thought, “What am I complaining about?” and then not bother.

In truth, there isn’t much to tell, at least not much that hasn’t been told by someone else a hundred times – I was at a low point in my life, got sucked into the cult with the promise of fixing all my problems, got sold more and more of the con, joined the Sea Org, realised it wasn’t as advertised, left the Sea Org, came back as public, paid loads of money for courses and then auditing and then more auditing, got into ethics trouble for questioning why it didn’t seem to work and also looking for answers on the web and then finally realised that it didn’t work – at least not for me.

I might put the long version of it on a blog or some other Scientology forum someday…

Although I have not said much or even read ESMB over the past few years, I am very sad that it is coming to a close. But I am very relieved that it will remain in an archive state for the next X years. There is a huge wealth of data that will be very useful to – well lots of people we don’t even know about.

As I was going through all my old PMs and copying and saving them, I was reminded of a great number of people I have connected with, many of whom I had almost forgotten existed. I was gratified to recall that many have moved on and left Scientology way behind them and got on with their lives.

Yes, Scientology as an organization still remains, but it is greatly reduced in power and membership compared to a decade ago. And it certainly is not delivering the ‘core services’ that is supposedly the whole reason for its existence, it is just a device for extracting as much money as possible from those still trapped inside. This is due in large part to the efforts of all those who stood up and told the truth, on ESMB and elsewhere. Given human nature, there will always be willing victims to sign up for the next Great Con (be it Scientology or some other cult or even some miracle investment / cure or whatever). But the numbers are hugely reduced and now everyone who is willing to look has the opportunity to educate themselves and make informed choices. We have achieved something remarkable.

So here we are then, time to say goodbye.

Axiom142 signing off - it was a helluva ride, wasn’t it?

My YouTube channel : https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCz-nXT4b-nmxzQEQHd9t1VA?


Gold Meritorious Patron
Well, as usual, I've gotten in my own way and now I've run out the time & care I wanted to take to bid fond au revoir to all here.

It would take a list longer than giraffe's leg to name all the Folks here that helped, I learned from and laugh, cry and snort at the same time.

It's probably a good thing I've gotta finish packing my car and hit the road on a 6 hour drive as I tend to get maudlin at times like this (gotto walkabout scheduled go visit kids, grandkids & friends, etc.).

I've expressed how I feel about this Board, all Y'all's...here now, gone and passed...and Emma and pretty much summed up...as best I could...in this Post today to Emma.


I tried to write Shooting Stars, as best I could, about Hisself, what I saw happen and all the fine--and the few not so fine--Folks I crossed paths with, interacted with and knew well "Back in the Days". I wrote it to tell other Ex's what they had payed the price for and earned the right to know, to pay homage to some very fine Folks that deserve "Props" and to lay "down my burden".

It would not have been written without this Board. It would not have been written without all Y'all's help, encouragement and participation. This Board is Shooting Stars home...A small cluster of my Tiles amongst all the myriad of brilliant, unique and essential Tiles of the Mosaic so many of Us have cast down over the years. IMHO, Shooting Stars is an "organic" collaboration of ESMBers.

So many serendipitous, wonderful and magical moments have happened for me here. Of all those moments, Cowboy's arrival and the existing presence of Dart Smohen & Alan Walter and the Tiles Cowboy, Dart and Alan cast down were the most personally "Holy Effen Ess" to me. They are MUST reads!

So much heartrending, heartwarming, heart changing and heart cleansing Dialogues, Stories and Documentation resides here.

Here...Now and into the future...The most Complete, Concise and Correct Rendering of the Mosaic, anywhere, period.

A Rendering possible because of each and every tile cast down by each and every one of US.

My Very Best Wishes, Always In All Ways,


PS: There's a song that I listened to over and over as I was wandering my way out from under "The Spell".

I share it now as my closing thoughts on ESMB.

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Diamond Invictus SP
For twenty years after leaving Scientology I didn't feel I had anyone I could talk to (that would understand) about my time in Scientology. ESMB was tremendously beneficial for me in so many ways.

Thank-you to all the contributors past and present who made it what it is, all the Admin's & Mod's over the years that helped, and @Emma, thank-you for creating this forum, keeping it going so many years. You might of got the impression I wasn't overly happy in these final days :cool: but I do greatly and genuinely appreciate all you've done and wishing for you an awesome retirement. This place was truly life-changing for me, in a positive way.

I'm about to go off on advanced research and hope to see many of you on Target Two! :heartflower:


stubborn rebel sheep!
Thank fou Emma for that great internet site you creared and , with help of staff and posters, kept alive for 12 years; that is pretty awesome.
As one who had a message board and also moderated other boards I gave up after 2 years and was totally done. People often don't have any idea of what an admin must deal with on a daily basis.

It is time to fully go back to you real life and enjoy your roles and people you love and you will love.

Even if we has disagreements recently and I didn't get what you wanted to achieve, I still am and will always be grateful for what you have done and made possible, the courage it took and for all ESMB had contributed in my personnal evolution and Scientology graduation.

All those people this site had greatly help are certainly thousands and thousands who are not here to thank you and people involved.

My very best wishes for a happy life, a good health and few babies to hold in jour armé, as new young grand-ma.

Best to you M
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Con te partirò
Can we have a few folks in chat? Some real time conversation might be nice to go out with.