How about the tech (and policy) of using newspaper, water, and vinegar to clean windows?
Or using a Turkey Feather Duster to clean cars?
LOL
Well, let's take that newspaper, water & vinegar window "clearing" technology.
SCENARIO: Dr. Hubbard, on the lam at sea running away from authorities, must blow from the sea and take his hiding technology on land--where he has several "safe houses" purchased by straw men. House number 3 gets the RED ALERT that the earth's savior is going to be arriving in his BlueBird motorhome in 3 hours.
WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE: Dr. Hubbard being particle-sensitive (dust, smells, foreign chemicals, et al) must have a space that has been "cleared" of all offending MEST particles. Sea Org crew believe this is because he is so OT that his perception has been ramped up to "11" on a ten-digit dial---and therefore as a big being, very small particles can cause him extraordinary stress because he perceives everything at such extremes of magnification. This is not, they have clay demo'd, because he has psych things like "allergies" or "phobias" or "paranoia" or "psychosomatic illness"---it's because he is simply too OT to comfortably reside in a tiny MEST universe. THUS THERE WILL BE A WHITE GLOVE INSPECTION WITHIN 3 HOURS TO ENSURE THAT NOT ONE PARTICLE OF ANYTHING IS FOUND ANYWHERE.
VITAL INFORMATION: Sea Org executives are scared to death that one particle could send them to the RPF for years and send the Commodore into fits of rage and revenge against them leading to overboardings, chain lockers and far worse. Thus they call an "all hands" emergency drill to clean the house from top to bottom, even though it was similarly cleaned 24 hours earlier. 132 fully hatted "MEST CLEANING SPECIALISTS" (they've all done the checksheet) then descend on Dr. Hubbard's safe house to rid it of toxic particles. Three hours into the beehive of activity they are ready to turn their attention to the windows.
EVENT TIMETABLE: With only thirty minutes remaining before the Commodore's arrival, they pull together buckets of water and vinegar. That's when frantic and fanatic screaming begins because
nobody has any newspapers and the local vending machines are all void of any newspapers. It seems that there was an entheta news story in the day's paper about Mankind's Greatest Friend about a 4 year old child aboard the Apollo that Hubbard had thrown into a cold dark dangerous chain locker for days--while the kid screamed and cried hysterically. All that because the child chewed on a piece of paper that was left laying around---which was an act of "TREASON". Because being an unsupervised 4 year old on a cult ship, poorly fed and without any toys is no excuse to "sabotage" Ron--because "...the Being knows" (what they are doing, even if they have a small body)
LIGHTNING FAST WHY FINDING: The senior window-cleaning executives rapidly gather data and using the Data Series Evaluator's Technology, they find the why that there are no available newspapers. That "black PR" about Hubbard sadistically torturing/terrorizing a child was "handled" by OSA's own "cleanup crews" when every single newspaper in the entire county was purchased and or stolen, so that a PR flap could be prevented where people might doubt that Hubbard is the savior of the universe when they discover his pedo-sadistic child abuse.
HANDLING THE WHY: Since there is no time to drive to the nearest city and look for newspapers, a "bright idea" is required. That's when someone in the basement yells up that they found a solution! They come upstairs holding some old t-shirts and a bottle of Windex and state: "
Hey my mom used to use this wog product on our windows and it worked real good".
GETTING APPROVAL: Since Windex and rags are "out tech", "out ethics", "off source", "squirrel" and "out KSW", only the Captain of the Cleaning Corps can approve their use. He cannot do this verbally because that is, itself, even more out-tech; thus the Deputy Captain makes it go right to write up a proper CSW which proposes a solution to use the Windex and old t-shirts. The Captain then does the standard thing, an admin scale.
FINAL MOMENTS: With only 13 minutes remaining before the BlueBird arrives carrying the reincarnated Buddha, the Captain has a mindblowing and life-altering cognition. That "PURPOSE IS ABOVE POLICY" on the admin scale that Buddha wrote. Therefore, if the PURPOSE was to have clean windows, the POLICY of using newspapers could be ignored.
There you have it, my friends. You must always use newspapers to clean windows except when it's the greatest good to use something else.
POSTSCRIPT: The Commodore arrives and personally does a white-glove inspection and is exhilarated with the results, ordering all staff to have "Commendation Reports" entered into their ethics folders so that they can receive "ethics protection". A few minutes later, Doctor Hubbard orders all staff to be assigned Enemy and "MEST work" cleaning his BlueBird motorhome all night without any sleep----because he noticed an empty Windex bottle in the garbage.
This inspiring story has been brought to you by the Church of Scientology, the organization that is helping create "a world without insanity".
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I don't remember that one! Are you serious?
