Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology - PART ONE

[HelluvaHoax!]

Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

Scientology is where you word clear and demo that the worse crime against life, man and theta is to alter Ron's tech and then you walk out of the academy into an event and stand and cheer and applaud when Chairman of the RTC Board, THE organization entrusted to keeping Ron's tech and Ron's printed and recorded words pure and unaltered, releases redacted material based on the works of Hell Wrong Hubbard.

A transcriptionists is an SP for altering a coma or a semi-colon yet the COB of RTC no less alters entire lectures and check sheets, books and policies and bulletins.

Is there something stupid in all of this?

HellYeah!

Scientology is where...

You learn all of the tech necessary to detecting and being total cause over SPs.

Later you study about all of the SPs in Scientology's 63 year history that successfully tricked & suppressed Hubbard, Miscavige and OTs worldwide. Because (just like the SP tech teaches you) tech doesn't work in the presence of suppression.

Therefore, the PTS/SP tech not working proves that it does work. This would be very bad news for Scientologists except for the very fortunate fact that when SPs suppress, it means that Scientology is flourishing and the stats are way up--so there is not really any need to handle anything as that would be a violation of the Affluence Attainment formula ("..doing those things that worked.")

 

[guanoloco]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

Scientology is where you get an ass reaming and assigned Lowers for jaywalking across an empty street because it's "out PR" and makes Scientology look bad but when Tom Cruise jumps all over Oprah's couch and butchers Matt Lauer's interview and slams Brooke Shields and looks like a world wide idiot he wins a Freedom of Medal award that looks like something Mr. T or Flavor Flav would wear.

Is that stupid?

 

[guanoloco]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

Scientology is where you get an ass reaming and assigned Lowers for jaywalking across an empty street because it's "out PR" and makes Scientology look bad but when Tom Cruise jumps all over Oprah's couch and butchers Matt Lauer's interview and slams Brooke Shields and looks like a world wide idiot he wins a Freedom of Medal award that looks like something Mr. T or Flava Flav would wear.

Is that stupid?

 

[ForLease]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

Found out yesterday that Hubbbard's clothes get dry cleaned once a month. On premises, of course, not dropped off. Presumably for his "return."

Hate to to tell them, but ain't nothing going to get rid of that stench...

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

Found out yesterday that Hubbbard's clothes get dry cleaned once a month. On premises, of course, not dropped off. Presumably for his "return."

Hate to to tell them, but ain't nothing going to get rid of that stench...

I had heard that before, but . . .

If there is really something that stupid happening, ya just gotta link the "reference"! LOL.

I am trying to summon all powers of creativity to even IMAGINE what the thinking behind that could possibly be. What??? Hubbard returns as what? A baby? Nope, double extra-large clothes wouldn't fit.

What does that leave? Well, I guess Ron's strat plan is to do a "walk-in" once he finds an obese, dumpy dude that looks stylish in 1950's sailor costumes?

 

[Udarnik]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

I had heard that before, but . . .

If there is really something that stupid happening, ya just gotta link the "reference"! LOL.

I am trying to summon all powers of creativity to even IMAGINE what the thinking behind that could possibly be. What??? Hubbard returns as what? A baby? Nope, double extra-large clothes wouldn't fit.

What does that leave? Well, I guess Ron's strat plan is to do a "walk-in" once he finds an obese, dumpy dude that looks stylish in 1950's sailor costumes?

Not to mention he'll be bitching about the lingering smell of the dry cleaning solvent...

 

[Bea Kiddo]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

I had heard that before, but . . .

If there is really something that stupid happening, ya just gotta link the "reference"! LOL.

I am trying to summon all powers of creativity to even IMAGINE what the thinking behind that could possibly be. What??? Hubbard returns as what? A baby? Nope, double extra-large clothes wouldn't fit.

What does that leave? Well, I guess Ron's strat plan is to do a "walk-in" once he finds an obese, dumpy dude that looks stylish in 1950's sailor costumes?

And he still has an office in every org. It has to be spotless clean at all times.

They used to have cigs ready for him too - Kool menthols. And they had to switch them out every certain amount of time. I'll bet someone was getting a lot of free ciggies~!

 

[Rene Descartes]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

I had heard that before, but . . .

If there is really something that stupid happening, ya just gotta link the "reference"! LOL.

I am trying to summon all powers of creativity to even IMAGINE what the thinking behind that could possibly be. What??? Hubbard returns as what? A baby? Nope, double extra-large clothes wouldn't fit.

What does that leave? Well, I guess Ron's strat plan is to do a "walk-in" once he finds an obese, dumpy dude that looks stylish in 1950's sailor costumes?

This is what I would love someone to do.

Get a framed pic of Tom Cruise dancing in his underwear from the Risky Business flick and put it on the book shelf in LRHs office.

Rd00

 

[Type4_PTS]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

This is what I would love someone to do.

Get a framed pic of Tom Cruise dancing in his underwear from the Risky Business flick and put it on the book shelf in LRHs office.

Maybe for the holiday?

 

[Ogsonofgroo]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

I had heard that before, but . . .

If there is really something that stupid happening, ya just gotta link the "reference"! LOL.

I am trying to summon all powers of creativity to even IMAGINE what the thinking behind that could possibly be. What??? Hubbard returns as what? A baby? Nope, double extra-large clothes wouldn't fit.

What does that leave? Well, I guess Ron's strat plan is to do a "walk-in" once he finds an obese, dumpy dude that looks stylish in 1950's sailor costumes?

Great point HH!
I have laughed several times over the years trying to imagine what kind of tone on the 'Stupid Scale' this hits. Like, um, what? On the outside (really, really, really outside chance the old windbag did take over a baby or some such shit), what the fuck are they expecting? Some frikken 4-5 year old walking in and demanding a Kool? A bottle of rum? Attention and abeyance? Is the fat, dead, demented, lying, camel-fart, going to get reborn a nicotine-addicted, globe-trotting drunken toddler? Would DM even allow such a thing? (I have it on good authority that LRH has made several attempts at getting reborn, choosing the best-of-the-best Sea Org. bodies... unfortunately... karma... DM~ abortion king.... blah-blah)
What a waste of money (something cult is great at, as long as it is other people's money), and a real leap of faith to perpetuate such foolishness. I think you have to be pretty ingrained in cult not to shake your head and have a giant WTF? cog eh. (and run like the demons of the universe are chasing you)

The stupid, so painfully obvious from the outside, I think, is hard to see with starry-eyed adhesion to such a mucked up pseudo-philosophy while at the oars inside the sinking ship of scientology.

Iy yiyiyiyiyi.

 

[guanoloco]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

This is what I would love someone to do.

Get a framed pic of Tom Cruise dancing in his underwear from the Risky Business flick and put it on the book shelf in LRHs office.

Rd00

Here's one I'd like to do...get routed to Ethics for an interview and in the course of that let it slip that I'm reading a book that talks about sodomizing catamites and penis enlargement surgery where sperm gets splashed and dribbled all over the place and teen prostitution and homosexual fellatio and watch the reaction of the Ethics Officer and when they're in the midst of writing that up and accusing me of being a pervert whip out Ron's Mission Earth series with all that crap highlighted.

 

[Type4_PTS]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

"... what the fuck are they expecting? Some frikken 4-5 year old walking in and demanding a Kool?"

Yeah, he's baaaack!

 

[Operating DB]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

What does a camel fart smell like?

 

[Ogsonofgroo]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

Yeah, he's baaaack!

Oh great.
Do you realize that CoS will now spend millions to track down that poor brat and handle him?
Because, ya know, they just want to make sure.

 

[JBWriter]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology - A Burger Deluxe

Not sure if an 'imagined' stupid moment is permitted here or not, but if so...

NOTE: Today, France's highest court upheld fraud convictions against both Co$/scientology and mgmt staff.
tl;dr = Oh, sh^t - playaz got served!

A Burger Deluxe

Characters:

"Mendrick Koxon" - Waiter
"Mavid Discavige" - Customer


Customer: *waves* Hey - waiter! C'mere. I ordered a burger.

Waiter: *hurries to table, visibly nervous* Yes, sir.

Customer: *eyes plate* Then what's this?

Waiter: Sir, that's a...burger. *beams with pride* It's All-American - and everything's organic, too.

Customer: Listen buddy, this ain't a burger. Look! See? What's this? *points to 'bun'*

Waiter: Sir? Oh! The bottom one's the California Appellate Court kibosh on penitent privilege and the top one's the US Supreme Court's rejection of our petition altogether.

Customer: Yeah? *removes 'bun top, points* And this lettuce is...?

Waiter: Bert Leahy's declaration, sir.

Customer: And these tomato slices?

Waiter: Cook's email, sir.

Customer: These onions?

Waiter: The Garcias' complaint, sir.

Customer: Why is there white drippy stuff mixed in with the ketchup?

Waiter: *embarrassed, mumbles* White-out, sir. We tried to cover up...stuff."

Customer *narrows eyes* This isn't ketchup.

Waiter: No, sir. It's Narconon wrongful death complaints. Canada. Oklahoma. And Georgia.

Customer: *exhales loudly, stares at plate* The burger is...?

Waiter: Sir...I... *trembles*

Customer: Tell me! The burger is WHAT?!

Waiter: *squeaks* Monique Rathbun's complaint, amended complaint, witness subpoenas, discovery demands, and LeahReminiisgoingtobedeposedvoluntarily.

Silence.

Customer: That's it? This is what you call an American burger? Me? This is what I paid for - just this?

Waiter: *abashed* Sir, I'm sorry. *stops, then - snaps fingers, smiles broadly* Sir! We just got something in.

Waiter exits the room. Customer remains seated, ignores the plate.
Waiter returns carrying a plate with a silver-colored domed lid. They both beam happily.

The plate is placed on the messy table and Waiter removes the lid with a flourish.

Waiter: Ta-DA!

Customer: Are these...French fries?

Waiter: *gushes* Yes, sir! 82 pages direct from Gay Paree - just for you, sir! *picks-up speed now* Nothing beats a burger and fries, right sir?Over 100 billion served at McDonald's, right sir? Hey - d'you think they'll ever catch up to scientology's total people served stats, sir? We're just a smidge over ninety-four and-a-half-hubbillion-to-the-xenutian-power-of-three-cubed-plus-six for 2013 alone(!) - which, I know, is the real reason we can't open up this building since they won't all fit, but it's nice that they try, right sir? Sir? SIR?!

~Fin~

So.

You get what you pay for. You get what you deserve. And sometimes...you pay for what you deserve. <---New adage! Exclusive to Davey - yay!
Revenge is a dish best served cold...but second-best is with the bun toasted. <---fun fact - whee!
"D'you want fries with that?" - not such a funny line now in Clearwater today. Heh.
"Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar." - Freud.
"Sometimes a burger & French fries are something else entirely. " - JB

 

[guanoloco]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

You know how everything in Scientology is...

BIG!!​

There's Big Beings and Big Games and Big Wins and Big Postulates and Ron's space was soooo Big and Ron's Havingness...WOW!!...BIG!! and the expansion of Scientology is Big and just look at this:

Talk about BIG! and then there's this:

And just look at this medal!!

That's just downright HUGE!!

And it's leader...wait...what???

Come on! This has just got to be stupid!!

 

[In present time]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

when "bait and badger" became popular amongst the mission staff.
they wrestled my friend to the ground, a group of about five to eight
people, and pulled his pants down. something about getting caught with his pants down on getting his stats up and tough love.
i will never forget the look on his face, and how anyone with even one eye open couldn't see that look and known they had gone over the top insane.
i tried to pull them off him, but i was pushed away and overwelmed physically.

it wasn't long until i was kicked off staff, because i repeatedly went against the group dynamic.
by the time i was kicked out, i was pretty sure i was a piece of shit.

meh, this isn't a very funny one.
which reminds me, of something i just said on another thread about having only found ONE friend since being out.

i found this guy again... but he had since got married and even had grandchildren and they are all still in, so he can't really talk to me.

and PS. dan locke is so fucking NOT OSA, lol. (i have graduated from not only being off topic on one thread but blurring threads together, oh well.)

sweetest guy in the world. from asho... they used to call him dialwide because he was such a sweetheart and still is.

 

[Ogsonofgroo]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

^^^That is fucking horrible IPT! ^^^ But I am so not surprised given the many stories of degradation and humiliation from our beloved ex's, it is not uncommon and, perfectly aligned with the way ol' Tubs Hubbard dealt with his sad and dismal life.

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

The Stupid of Word Clearing

CROSS POSTED FROM ANOTHER THREAD:

Originally Posted by Veda
And if anyone wants to know what "ethics" means, look it up in an ordinary English language dictionary.

And stay for ever ignorant. If you are even just a tiny fraction of a scholar you will delve deeper and get to the underlying essence of what it is you are dealing with. If you just believe what others write then you dwell for ever in the absurdities that they do write. In dictionaries and tomes and whatever.

TRANSLATION: We shall not speculate here on how Ron came to rise above the dictionary.

HELPFUL TIP: Scientologists ("able" as they claim to be) are simply not able to "clear" the idea of The Hubbard Law of Commotion ("…for each and every policy and piece of tech, there is an equal and opposite policy and piece of tech.") The above-posted absurd admonishment to NOT use a dictionary to clear the term "ethics" is a hilarious contradiction to every other sacred Hubbard study tech policy and tech bulletin mandating that one ONLY use a dictionary to clear a word. Naturally, Hubbard also fails to reveal that he is the only man on planet earth entitled to re-write dictionary definitions any time at all, without notice or explanation, if it suits his fancy that particular day.

Scientology: The only religion in the world that makes it a "Suppressive Act" and "High Crime" to not use a dictionary to clear the definition of a word (see HCOPL Ethics & Study Tech). Then Hubbard makes up thousands of new words and revises definitions for normal English words and orders you to buy Scientology dictionaries so you don't lose your eternity.

TGIAOOTMC!​

thank god I am out of that moronic cult!​

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

..

Cross-Posted from the "Scientology is NOT a scam" thread. . .

I don't think anyone here will be rushing back to Scientology as a result of this thread .....

Scientology Koan Du Jour: What happens if a blown Scientologist is given a free recovery session and has a huge blowdown and dial wide F/N, cogniting that the tech never worked in the first place and that they are mocking up their own wins? Does the auditor indicate the F/N or treat it like an ARC Break Needle and assess for BPC?