Yes it is a "diabolical dissonance" when good folk keep clinging to aspects of the damaging mentally controlling system. It is taking me a great deal of time and information-seeking to comprehend.
Is there some sort of "natural law" in play when something that can destroy and create so much pain, is still clung to, even if only in some small way? Can this "clinging" be called foolishness or stupidity? Or is it (the clinging) actually merely a part of the actual control system itself?
The pure trauma that is often (mostly) caused when the whole system is abandoned in one swift maneuver, is indescribable. I know this because I did this and lost my mind and my whole sense of myself. I now firmly believe Hubbard designed the trap this way - to hold mental slaves and ensure they never dare to let go of the mental prison without extreme suffering. To break out of the mental prison, totally, in one swift move, is excruciating. One simply cannot comprehend "life outside the mental prison" so seeks comfort, relief, etc, by clinging to the installed thoughts of the cult system.
Even when one does break out of the mental prison, it takes an enormous amount of work to shed the remnants of the "prison walls" (thought-stopping automaticities) and most folk, imho, just want to get on with life and glaze over that which is lurking within them - a mentally controlling system which has violated them on so many levels.
It is easier to assign abuse (spiritual, sexual, etc) to an external event/person. Mind-control such as the scientology system is abuse. It takes deep internal exploration and self-honesty to dig in and find one's own truth, independent of any external information.
Imho, this is why abuse can remain "live and well" - the dissonance it creates is so fierce and it is easier for the individual to deny it and totter off into life without a true deep inspection of what the hell has really happened.
I have no idea if this makes an atom of sense. I am actually in the middle of some deep exploration on this stuff so this is my first - perhaps feeble - attempt to share these ideas. Good luck reading it. lol.
Sallydance,
This is beautiful, and helps to me to understand why, as someone who was never in the church, I feel as if I have been from the abusive experiences I have survived. Perhaps this is why being in this forum and speaking out is often so cathartic for me. I think for anyone who was raised in cognitive dissonance or who was taught within a family/church system that what they felt or experienced wasn't real if it went against the "reality" as the group defined it, the experience of finding the truth, or really looking at what happened, can be a horrifying and destabilizing experience, but the only way to wholeness and full integrity.
I even think "systems" like sexism and racism, which usually have their roots in childhood, can be equally bewildering and devastating. It takes great courage and time to really face those experiences, to excavate the memories in order to release them and be free.
I do believe that there is a innocence we never lose, an innocence that may be even more beautiful after it has been tested by evil, when we know how brutal the world can be and yet we still choose to love. I'm searching for that.
There is a such thing as religious abuse, and for those who define it, it is right up there with incest and other types of soul violations. Some professionals have argued that in some cases, it may even be worse, because when you are violated by a parent, you grow up damaged by a person, but the experience of religious abuse affects not only one's relationship with self, but with "God" "Spirit" "Faith" and whether or not to trust anything (or anyone) at all. You are violated by individuals and by an institution. In other words, if you are violated by a friend or family member, you may feel you can go to God. But what do you do if you feel that God (or a man who is presented as God) is the violator, and that he has turned His/Her back on you?
Anyway, your post got me thinking, as always, Sally D. Thank you for your lovely insight.
