What Does ESMB Mean to You?

[RogerB]

AlsoOur Mods Deserve an Ack!

In my initial haste of posting the start of this thread, I forgot and overlooked honoring our Mods. I thought of them as I was phrasing what I had to say, but then forgot to include them in the post

So, thanks to the un-named wundas downunda (or where-ever) for keeping the show on the road and helping keep it an orderly, clean and safe space to be.

Rog

 

[Good twin]

In my initial haste of posting the start of this thread, I forgot and overlooked honoring our Mods. I thought of them as I was phrasing what I had to say, but then forgot to include them in the post

So, thanks to the un-named wundas downunda (or where-ever) for keeping the show on the road and helping keep it an orderly, clean and safe space to be.

Rog

Here here!

 

[Tiger Lily]

In my initial haste of posting the start of this thread, I forgot and overlooked honoring our Mods. I thought of them as I was phrasing what I had to say, but then forgot to include them in the post

So, thanks to the un-named wundas downunda (or where-ever) for keeping the show on the road and helping keep it an orderly, clean and safe space to be.

Rog

Good point RogerB -- our mods are unsung heroes. It's a thankless job but without them this board would have degenerated long ago into something that would have been no help to anyone.

You guys are awesome!!

-TL

 

[thetaCannon]

ESMB is a place where I can go to fold my mental laundry.

Reading the stories and comments of other people, and just getting a feel for their tone in conversation, has been really helpful in calibrating my sense of what's real.

In real life, talking about Scientology is pretty impossible because nobody I know (who's impartial) is actually interested in looking at it. So I occasionally dumb down a few concepts and share what I'm thinking about, but it doesn't come close to being a discussion.

With CofS types, nobody has REAL conversations at all. It's all just PR and sales patter, or chest puffing and image construction. I found being around actual Scientologists to be the most disappointing and stifling stage of this whole epic.

With Hubbard's writing you just get mile-high promises and endless hype. Not very useful for getting a proper perspective, plus he's certainly NOT openly self-aware and does almost nothing to reflect or encourage reflection on his own words.

Hubbard rip-offs and FZ authors are just fucking crazy, and nothing they say makes any damned sense at all, so that's a dead end as well.

Soooo, ESMB is my "sanity check"... and also a place to be involved with people who know what it is to be drawn in by one of the most successful cult movements of our age AND at least maintain a safe-ish distance from it.

To me, ESMB is an antidote.

 

[Zinjifar]

To me, ESMB is an antidote.

Communication = the universal solvent. When you can get it, nothing works better to get those pesky cult-stains out.

Zinj

 

[Reasonable]

I am glad it is here and I learned alot. But now for me it is just gossip and anger. And honestly I don't fee better after I have been here. i mean I'm out and should be doing something more productive. I can't stop looking at it like a bad traffic accident. It helped at the beginning and when i have soemthing specific to ask this is a great place. I love the stories about the new exes. But it seems everything that needs to be said has been said.

That said i do think this board is probably the best thing for people considering to get out becaue it is a stable place and you can get both good opinions and facts.


Still I check the board every day for new exes, those are my favorite stories.

 

[FinallyFree]

ESMB has mean so much to me for many different reasons. I notice a description of leaving scientology that repeats with quite a few of the Ex’s here and that is the feeling of being alone and having no one else who will understand to talk to. That was a big one for me. I knew there were some Ex’s somewhere but I had no idea the size of the Ex’s or the diversity. No clue at all. I went from feeling completely isolated to knowing I had a group of people who have gone through the same thing I was going through, people who cared and wanted to help. People who would understand and not judge me for what I was saying or feeling. I love this board, this web site. Since coming here I have bee able to leave behind that frenzied, non-stop internet searches, staying up all night reading and reading. I have started to finds myself again. I feel stronger since being here. Like I have a group behind me. I also feel I can contribute to other Ex’x who are here reading my posts, chatting with me, etc. I have also developed friendships with people here and have carried that over to other areas of my life.

Frankly, when I first stumbled across this message board I felt like I had struck gold. This board has been a key part in my recovery. Even my therapist agreed that it would help me in my recovery and suggested I continue to come here, read, post and chat.

I don’t agree with everything stated here. Some people on this board make me want to choke something, but that is okay. I consider that another arm to the process and that’s okay with me. Frankly, being ABLE to disagree and maintain my how I personally feel has been wonderful. I think we can learn from each other here whether we agree with each other or not. Hell there are people here who I simply won’t interact with for specific reasons, even THEY help me. I know I am still working on my recovery and that is okay.

This board has meant more to me than I can clearly express here – but then again – you all know what I am talking about don’t you?

Bottom line – this board and web-site has meant everything to me.

 

[AngeloV]

cool

ESMB is a place where I can go to fold my mental laundry.

[snip]

Nice metaphor!

 

[Zinjifar]

Now, about that 'static cling'.....

Zinj

 

[byte301]

In the sea of insanity that is the internet ESMB is safe harbor for me. No matter how crazy it can get on some threads it's mild compared to other things out there.

I just thank my lucky stars I found ESMB first before some of the other mb's.

 

[scooter]

Great thread Roger - thanks for staring it.

I've been pondering this for the last twenty-four hours and I'll have a go at answering it as best I can so bear with me.

ESMB for me has been somewhere to actually share what has happened and work out how it happened. It's been the best exit therapy I ever could have dreamed of.

Yes there's times when I hate being addicted to looking at the board just to see if there's anything new on it. Times I feel I should get a real life and get on with that rather than spend so much time on the Net chatting or reading.

But I've noticed that I'm getting back the good bits of me that had been submerged for so long I'd almost forgotten about them.

And I see the same happening with my long-term friends who post here.

I'm finally able to begin to look objectively at my 30 years in and sort out what was good and what was crap and move on - there's still a lot of baggage I carry around from that but it's getting less daily.

My wife said to me last night that it's like I've changed since leaving the cult and now I'm like a person who's just learning about life.

It's so true - all those fixed ideas I had about life that came from my extensive training are being re-evaluated constantly now.

Not all are wrong.

But all need to be looked at in the light of life experience and measured.

And that's what I'm constantly doing now.

And ESMB has been a huge help in that as I can compare my experiences to those on the board and evaluate from there.

Even the OSA trolls (bless 'em) give me a window into what it's like to be manically defending the indefensible. And how I (shudder) used to be the same.

I'm not trying to "make it go right" or "get the stats up" or any of those other manic suggestions that keep a person from actually looking at life - I'm working out a solution to what IS in front of me RIGHT NOW.

And that's because of what I've read here, what I've discussed or argued about here and what other sites and blogs and reports some other fellow ESMBer has linked to here that I've pursued and read and then dissected for myself.

Without ESMB I'd still be very stuck in my 30 years in and 80 courses and internships done and really still be blindly a "Scientologist" without realizing it. And all the while denying it and saying it's "behind me' and "I'm moving on with life now" etc etc.

And I think that's the greatest thing it's been for me - and a lot of other people I've watched here over the last year or so that I've been a part of this community.

So Emma thanks again for what you've created and what you and the Mods have kept creating here.

And a big thanks to all those who post here too - it's really what we make of it.

NOW to get back to real life again.

 

[Terril park]

Great thread Roger - thanks for staring it.

I've been pondering this for the last twenty-four hours and I'll have a go at answering it as best I can so bear with me.

ESMB for me has been somewhere to actually share what has happened and work out how it happened. It's been the best exit therapy I ever could have dreamed of.

Yes there's times when I hate being addicted to looking at the board just to see if there's anything new on it. Times I feel I should get a real life and get on with that rather than spend so much time on the Net chatting or reading.

But I've noticed that I'm getting back the good bits of me that had been submerged for so long I'd almost forgotten about them.

And I see the same happening with my long-term friends who post here.

I'm finally able to begin to look objectively at my 30 years in and sort out what was good and what was crap and move on - there's still a lot of baggage I carry around from that but it's getting less daily.

My wife said to me last night that it's like I've changed since leaving the cult and now I'm like a person who's just learning about life.

It's so true - all those fixed ideas I had about life that came from my extensive training are being re-evaluated constantly now.

Not all are wrong.

But all need to be looked at in the light of life experience and measured.

And that's what I'm constantly doing now.

And ESMB has been a huge help in that as I can compare my experiences to those on the board and evaluate from there.

Even the OSA trolls (bless 'em) give me a window into what it's like to be manically defending the indefensible. And how I (shudder) used to be the same.

I'm not trying to "make it go right" or "get the stats up" or any of those other manic suggestions that keep a person from actually looking at life - I'm working out a solution to what IS in front of me RIGHT NOW.

And that's because of what I've read here, what I've discussed or argued about here and what other sites and blogs and reports some other fellow ESMBer has linked to here that I've pursued and read and then dissected for myself.

Without ESMB I'd still be very stuck in my 30 years in and 80 courses and internships done and really still be blindly a "Scientologist" without realizing it. And all the while denying it and saying it's "behind me' and "I'm moving on with life now" etc etc.

And I think that's the greatest thing it's been for me - and a lot of other people I've watched here over the last year or so that I've been a part of this community.

So Emma thanks again for what you've created and what you and the Mods have kept creating here.

And a big thanks to all those who post here too - it's really what we make of it.

NOW to get back to real life again.

Its no secret that I promote FZ tech, and here is the best place to
do so.

I find this forum of more relevence and interest to my own and other FZ forums.

I'm personally quite involved in the destruction of COS, if it can't be reformed, which seems a lame hope, destruction would be good, and I attend all protests here in London.

I'm OEC/FEBC/ data series trained [ of sorts] and a Freezoner.

For what all the above is worth I would like to say that I have ALWAYS
found anything that Emma says to be completely valid and sane. And to the point.

Now that I'm here I'd like to comment that I'd like Bjorkist to be allowed back sometime. Yes he's an asshole and has posted some complete asshole comments.

Maybe he'd had a few pints?

He is though one of the smartest people who've posted here, and has
quite unique comments to make.

My suggestion, let him come back every two weeks after a ban.

Love you anyway Ems, and look forward to the upcoming nuptials.

 

[HappyGirl]

ESMB is the greatest!

ESMB got me OUT!!! It made me a happy girl!! And I made tons of new friends like Mac who helped me out when Happy Guy died. I don't post much any more, but ESMB has my eternal gratitude, and continues to be a place that will help set many more free.

 

[Voltaire's Child]

ESMB isn't the forum that got me out of CofS- as I had already been out of the cult for a few years when I got here. But I met and still continue to meet lots of nice people on ESMB who I think are awesome. And I've watched people get assistance, more confidence, be able to make new decisions about the cult and a lot of news gets posted here.

Plus we have threads about kitties.

 

[Telepathetic]

Thank you Emma, words could never express...

I wanted to say so much, but...all I could say was, thanks.

Love,

TP

 

[nyunknown]

What does the esmb means to mean? It been a long time when I blew 20 years ago. I get on my life but it was a part my past I did not want to talk about now I am here, I do not fell that way anymore I am not crazy ,I am not alone. I Say Thank God for the ESMB!

 

[SchwimmelPuckel]

ESMB is great! - I like it here.. Wonderful people.. And all you said i this thread.. yes!

I'm not much of a hug n' smooch guy.. So hefty pats on backs and bottoms all around (depending on gender..)

 

[tookmeawhile]

Am I the only material guy here?

First I must mention, without the board I may not have gotten my money back from scio!!! That is, money that I had on account at Flag and Dallas Org and even the IAS! It seems to me that getting money out of scio has always just been a small footnote on EXSMB's. I don't understand it - it's HUGE!!!

In particular, once again, I'd like to thank Kathy (ImOut) and GoodTwin on helping me AND MANY OTHERS recover their monies on account.

But mainly as many others have expressed, it helped me out tremendously hearing other people's stories and that they had the same type of thoughts, problems, realizations and simple acknowledgements to all the wonderings I had. So many people on the boards here "get it"; they totally understand and that's invaluable. I have blown so much charge and all the freed up attention units that were stuck on little things that made me go, "huh"? :confused2: have now been replaced with... OH!!!!!!!! Please excuse my preceding scio lingo.

A very special thanks to GoodTwin; her simple acks that convey her total understanding (the fact that she "gets it"), has really helped me end cycle on all the anguish and wonderings caused by 29 years of scio.

 

[Good twin]