Help! Life Ruined

[JohnMicheal]

When I origionaly came into Scientology, it catapulted my life into realms most would consider impossible. I was incedibly happy, confident, driven, extremely successful and very powerful. Now my life is ruined, I havn't worked in many years, (though I try to produce things to keep my mind occupied) my attention is fixated on horrible things the entire day. I'm terrified of what may await me after death due to horendeous postulates, agreements and counter postulates I made in an out of control state during an engram, not only that, but postulates of not being able to get out of it. It feels like I'm waiting to go to hell for eternity.

Since the day I heard the datum; once you momentarily go into agreement with something bad, you are esentially screwed, and your best bet is to just not then dissagree with the thing. It's as if I'm a germaphobe and EVERYTHING is contagious, but not even by contact, but merely a brief agreement. What is worse is that it seems as though related bad postulates I made are manifesting around me, and it's tripping me out and scareing the crap out of me.

I need serious help, does anyone know where I should go or what I should do? Suicide is not a real issue since the crux of my condition is terror of what may happen after death in future lives.

 

[FoTi]

When I origionaly came into Scientology, it catapulted my life into realms most would consider impossible. I was incedibly happy, confident, driven, extremely successful and very powerful. Now my life is ruined, I havn't worked in many years, (though I try to produce things to keep my mind occupied) my attention is fixated on horrible things the entire day. I'm terrified of what may await me after death due to horendeous postulates, agreements and counter postulates I made in an out of control state during an engram, not only that, but postulates of not being able to get out of it. It feels like I'm waiting to go to hell for eternity.

Since the day I heard the datum; once you momentarily go into agreement with something bad, you are esentially screwed, and your best bet is to just not then dissagree with the thing. It's as if I'm a germaphobe and EVERYTHING is contagious, but not even by contact, but merely a brief agreement. What is worse is that it seems as though related bad postulates I made are manifesting around me, and it's tripping me out and scareing the crap out of me.

I need serious help, does anyone know where I should go or what I should do? Suicide is not a real issue since the crux of my condition is terror of what may happen after death in future lives.

Talk to Roger B. He's on this board.

 

[LongTimeGone]

Go immediately to your local GP and tell him exactly what you have said in this post.

You have to believe that professional help is available; make use of it.

LTG

 

[LocalSP]

Run to the nearest psychiatric health care professional nearest you that is not a scientologist or affiliated with scientology in any way.

 

[Infinite]

Go to your doctor. Get a check up and whatever assistance you need to ensure that your are sleeping, eating, getting hugs, and that your current situation does not further deteriorate. Also, get a referral to a professional, formally trained, 21st Century mental health specialist, ideally one who deals with post-cult trauma counselling.

 

[NCSP]

That's terrible, JohnMicheal. I am constantly amazed at the awful things this cult does to people.

I know that you may be skeptical of psychology, but have you ever been treated for obsessive-compulsive disorder? (I know you don't mean the germaphobe example literally.) Most people think of it as obsessive hand-washing, etc., but at its core are intrusive horrible thoughts a bit like those you describe. People develop the obsessive actions in order to shut out those thoughts. It might be worthwhile to look for a therapist you feel you can trust, or maybe do some research online and see if it rings any bells.

There may be people here who can offer suggestions for more esoteric interventions, if those are more your cup of tea.

In any event, please stick around. It's a lovely group of people here, and I'm sure you'll find lots of support and even a few laughs.

Very best of luck.

 

[Gottabrain]

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) has been extremely successful as a therapy method for helping those recovering from the Scientology cult experience. Jungian and Gestalt therapy have been helpful as well.

Find a psychologist in your area with experience dealing with recovering cult members that practices one or more of these techniques. You'll be amazed at the relieve you will experience from qualified mental health therapy.

 

[JohnMicheal]

One of the horrible things is, that I have seen scientology work, I've made thoughts manifest. I need to talk to an ex-scientologist who will understand and be compasionate to my situation. I feel as though if I see a psychiatrist all will be lost, and whatever hope I have left will be gone.

This is a very complex situation for me. I'm very conflicted between what I saw work with Scientology (basically magic), and how it's destroyed my life. I have been on Paxil for about five years, but recently quit. I've been in bad shape for 6 months now. The drug seemed to compound the problem.

I need to talk to someone who has seen he workability of Scn, but got out and can talk to me.

It's retarted I know, but I still subscribe to the information in Scientology, because I saw it work. I want my life back though.

 

[Infinite]

It's retarted I know, but I still subscribe to the information in Scientology, because I saw it work. I want my life back though.

Subscribing to Scientology and wanting your life back are mutually exclusive.

 

[Jump]

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) has been extremely successful as a therapy method for helping those recovering from the Scientology cult experience. Jungian and Gestalt therapy have been helpful as well.

Find a psychologist in your area with experience dealing with recovering cult members that practices one or more of these techniques. You'll be amazed at the relieve you will experience from qualified mental health therapy.

The cult powerfully hooks you with controlling mechanisms including restricting access to any non-scio therapies, you are kept from exploring those only because they will help you to shake off the control.

Believe you can get past this. People do shake it off.

 

[FoTi]

One of the horrible things is, that I have seen scientology work, I've made thoughts manifest. I need to talk to an ex-scientologist who will understand and be compasionate to my situation. I feel as though if I see a psychiatrist all will be lost, and whatever hope I have left will be gone.

This is a very complex situation for me. I'm very conflicted between what I saw work with Scientology (basically magic), and how it's destroyed my life. I have been on Paxil for about five years, but recently quit. I've been in bad shape for 6 months now. The drug seemed to compound the problem.

I need to talk to someone who has seen he workability of Scn, but got out and can talk to me.

It's retarted I know, but I still subscribe to the information in Scientology, because I saw it work. I want my life back though.

PM Roger B on this board. He's not on right now, but if you PM him he will pick it up when he comes on here and he's usually on here at least once a day.

 

[Gottabrain]

Hi John,

Obviously Scientology did not help you.

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy helps rid a person of the incorrect ideas and behaviours they have which make their lives miserable and unworkable. Former cult members have these. These are often the things that Scientology never addresses.

Gestault Therapy treats a person as a "whole" rather than as little bits and pieces.

Jungian therapy deals with the root concepts common to all people and can also involve psychotherapy similar to Scientology.

If you were on Paxil, you were being treated for depression. Unfortunately, many doctors with no therapy background find it easier or less expensive to prescribe anti-depressants than to have someone treated in therapy. You should have had therapy first and obviously have not so are unaware of the benefits.

If you still insist that you want Scientology, there is a Freezone section on this board.

 

[lotus]

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) has been extremely successful as a therapy method for helping those recovering from the Scientology cult experience. Jungian and Gestalt therapy have been helpful as well.

Find a psychologist in your area with experience dealing with recovering cult members that practices one or more of these techniques. You'll be amazed at the relieve you will experience from qualified mental health therapy.

Agree with that.
Agree that you also shouls ensure that you are medically ok eith a check-up.

Then

Hang on
As much as you are suffering right now..it will cool down (these are just taughts) and the you will be able to change these wrong thaugts that have been forced into you.

What you need right now is to connect to real life that is ok in present time and stop your agitated mind to drive you.
TAKE WALKS IN NATURE - FOREST- TAKE CARE OF a LITTLE DOG OR CAT _ TALK TO A GOOD FRIEND TO SHARE THAT YOU ARE IN A DIFFICULT MOMENT AND SHARE FRIENDSHIP.

Hold on..these very difficult moments that are the worst are having a door to light and will find you stronger soon. A lto of us have gone through these difficult mooments of fear and despair .

DO not take any $cientology auditing..nothing anymore related to $cientology
TAke an appointment with a therapist using Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)

If you are experiementing panic attacks

Sit down
Do not fight your taughts
Accept the fact that you have an attack
''ho..here ios a panic attack''
Just controls your breath
slowly
count your breath
And know that it is a temporarly panic that is for short..
then you won't be fear at that.

Take care

 

[NCSP]

One of the horrible things is, that I have seen scientology work, I've made thoughts manifest. I need to talk to an ex-scientologist who will understand and be compasionate to my situation. I feel as though if I see a psychiatrist all will be lost, and whatever hope I have left will be gone.

This is a very complex situation for me. I'm very conflicted between what I saw work with Scientology (basically magic), and how it's destroyed my life. I have been on Paxil for about five years, but recently quit. I've been in bad shape for 6 months now. The drug seemed to compound the problem.

I need to talk to someone who has seen he workability of Scn, but got out and can talk to me.

It's retarted I know, but I still subscribe to the information in Scientology, because I saw it work. I want my life back though.

Please don't put yourself down -- you believe what you believe, and that's fine. (You should also give yourself permission to change your beliefs if they're not working for you.) There are people here of all shades of belief in the tech.

But there are lots of therapies that work -- many of which (like cognitive/behavioral approaches) do not involve drugs. You should also be aware that psychiatry/psychology is not a monolithic subject, and there are many diverse therapists out there with many different viewpoints. You have every right to choose the help you want, but it would be a shame to shut the door on such a huge pool of potential help just because you have disagreements with some in the pool.

But you do what you need to do for yourself. Again, I wish you the very best.

 

[Div6]

A couple of things:

1. Take some time each day to take walks, and look at your environment. Throw rocks, or baseballs, or some other peaceful causative actions.

2. Cal-mag, B1 and other vits as needed.

3. Get your thoughts in order. What actions have you done in Scn? What wins? Any losses? Post them here.

It sounds to me (and this is not intended as eval, just conversation) that you may have had an ascension experience (or two). If they are not properly acknowledged and handled, elements of the "composite you" can go into restim. This is usually best handled (ie: as-ised to erasure) in Solo, as there can be a lot of it to deal with, and the as-is-ness can happen pretty fast.
Have you done any auditor training?

 

[JohnMicheal]

The cult powerfully hooks you with controlling mechanisms including restricting access to any non-scio therapies, you are kept from exploring those only because they will help you to shake off the control.

Believe you can get past this. People do shake it off.

As I was typing, I did realize that is a big reason if not THE reason why Psychiatry is off limits.

I do not want to go back on pills. I'm thinking about messaging Teril Park, I know he's a practicing Scientologist on this board.

The most entrapping thing about Scientology is it's apparet workability. It sounds like the ramblings of an insane person I know. It is not just scientology whosays these things about postulates, "The Secret" too. I wish I was an Athiest to be honest. How do I deny what I witnessed work though. What many others have witnessed work?

 

[JohnMicheal]

PM Roger B on this board. He's not on right now, but if you PM him he will pick it up when he comes on here and he's usually on here at least once a day.

Ok thanks, I'll message him.

 

[Jachs]

One of the horrible things is, that I have seen scientology work, I've made thoughts manifest. I need to talk to an ex-scientologist who will understand and be compasionate to my situation. I feel as though if I see a psychiatrist all will be lost, and whatever hope I have left will be gone.

This is a very complex situation for me. I'm very conflicted between what I saw work with Scientology (basically magic), and how it's destroyed my life. I have been on Paxil for about five years, but recently quit. I've been in bad shape for 6 months now. The drug seemed to compound the problem.

I need to talk to someone who has seen he workability of Scn, but got out and can talk to me.

It's retarted I know, but I still subscribe to the information in Scientology, because I saw it work. I want my life back though.

ah dear the Black Magik man at it again Similar as alot of us, Suprising the story after story after story.

it "worked" the same on me too

 

[Gottabrain]

As I was typing, I did realize that is a big reason if not THE reason why Psychiatry is off limits.

I do not want to go back on pills. I'm thinking about messaging Teril Park, I know he's a practicing Scientologist on this board.

The most entrapping thing about Scientology is it's apparet workability. It sounds like the ramblings of an insane person I know. It is not just scientology whosays these things about postulates, "The Secret" too. I wish I was an Athiest to be honest. How do I deny what I witnessed work though. What many others have witnessed work?

John, Psychologists and Psychiatrists are not the same thing. Psychologists are not doctors, they do not prescribe drugs. They only practice therapy methods to help people. They are licensed and qualified. So don't worry about being put back on anti-depressants, because they are not authorised to do so and definitely won't. You should have seen a licensed Psychologist in the first place.

Cognitive Behaviour Therapy deals with your problems and anxieties about bad postulates (decisions). In fact, the entire therapy method is designed to resolve the decisions and behaviours that a person has made that makes their lives difficult.

So make the call! You'll be glad you did.

 

[Infinite]

How do I deny what I witnessed work though. What many others have witnessed work?

No one is asking you to deny anything. Only to reconsider your notions through the lens of rationality and with the assistance of people formally trained in helping you through the process. At the moment, it would appear that you are not coping. It may well be that after the process you still believe your experiences but then will have a better way of understanding and working with them. But, believe me this: more of what ails you does not make your better. Ever. Stick with Scientology and it won't be long before you're believing in space aliens with DC8 rocket ships, brick roads built in a world without gravity, and volcanoes that didn't exist.