Re: The old days - Aboard the Apollo - 1973
I just listened to the first of these McMaster links. A condition below treason expressed here as
'betrayal' after knowing' is a BIG one. Not many things have caused me as much grief. When you come to a realization of the Truth, you
know it! If you make nothing of the fact or invalidate it you have nowhere to progress on that subject after that point. Disastrous if one of your greatest raisons detre is to discover Truth for yourself.
I remember once when I was doing the Purif in 1980. Big wowser of a release where I went out like a slingshot miles above me and shot right back. I realized the drugs I had been protesting were not in my present body, but were hindering me from
another location entirely. I was too associated
still, with some captured body soaking in a vat somewhere. I was somewhat trapped by it. When I went release from that trap, I INVALIDATED IT.

Well, I continued to do the Purif as I thought maybe things could get even
better!

I never completely acknowledged it and even though I wrote it up for the day I got no ack from the super either. Whaaammm. I slammed
hard right back into that former PTS condition. And I went into a full revivification of HOW I got that way....soaking.

I ended up in the hospital. It took months for it to subside. My blood pressure had gone so high in the sauna after going back in there that I could not bend my arms for the force of it and I ended up in the hospital with the suppressive presence that was around the 'soaker' now attached to
me.
Last month I fell in love with the Cuyahoga County forest in Northeastern Ohio. I decided I wanted to temporarily rent a place on the very edge of the woods. I knew I was shopping in a more expensive suburb and I had no proof of a job lined up yet. I also had no car as it had been stolen. I rode my bicycle every day for hours combing the back streets that dead ended at the edge of the forest where most of the city had forgetten there was even real estate. I was in awe of what I was finding. THEN on the way home on my bicycle about 8 o'clock at night I saw a sign. I called the number on it. The place was HUGE. It was upstairs with a view of the parks. It was on 2 acres of land surrounded by tall trees. The attic was bigger than some peoples' houses. It had closets galore. It had a back porch upstairs that you could store all of your relatives riding lawn mowers and tools in with room to spare. It was owned by a multi millionaire who did not need the money, who did not want a deposit, did not care that I had a passle of cats, no job, no car, etc. In fact he often found himself selling off his land to the Cleveland Metro Parks. He and his wife were busy putting up new blinds and cleaning and painting, and the place was already gorgeous. The fire department and the police department were right across the street as was the Brooklyn Heights community center and dance hall and the parks entrance was across the road and down the hill. There was one police officer for every block in Brooklyn Heights because the warehouse district is down in the valley just behind the place I wanted to live in. These warehouse industry moguls paid heavily to keep their businesses running and their goods from being boosted.

And you got it.....I ended up passing on it because I was bullied out of town by someone. I have been 'sad' ever since. My vision I had achieved....almost 3000 square feet for ......$475 a month.
I could have stayed until my dad who is on hospice made his passing. The elderly owner said he just wanted the 'right' person for it and he and his wife had prayed on it ___ I was
IT. A gift fell out of the heavens__ and I PASSED ON IT. I knew it was a right item. Everything within me aligned. I blew it. Now I am typing in a Fla location I resent and I feel ashamed I did not battle for what I knew was my true goal.

And it also feels just like a list error....got no other term to use here right off the cuff. I was coming back to Orlando anyway but something changed, the goal did a reversal two weeks before the date and the impetus of my life force flowed with it. (When I got down here I found all hell broke out here in
those two weeks)
OK. On to the next McMaster tape.