Matt Hanses took a serious Kool Aid OD this weekend!
From: Matt Hanses
Date: Sun, Nov 17, 2013 at 2:14 AM
Subject: The Second Live GAT II Event From Flag: A Vignette
To: Matt Hanses
Dear Scientologist,
I am at a loss. I feel like it’s probably hopeless to even try to explain.
I’m so blown away that I struggle to find the right words. I’ve nearly given up even trying to convey the emotion of the event. It was too powerful…too personal.
I may let you down on this one. It will sound like a hollow sales pitch or strained hyperbole. How do you explain the emotion of triumph? How do you explain the nuances of hope? How do you convey the intimate details of your own personal sense of love, honor or inspiration?
Can you explain your feelings when you got married? Or when your first child was born? Can you honestly describe the thrill of personal victory when you graduated?
I can no more describe a summer sunset or the smile of your baby than I could the emotion of today. These can’t be conveyed. They can only be experienced. When you can look in the eyes of someone who has gone through it, you know: THEY understand. They’re the only ones who can.
Yet, I will try. In an attempt to ensure that every last soul who I can possibly reach does see these events, I will try. And so…I write.
As we filed into our seats in the huge white tent, I looked up at the rows and rows of lights and scaffolding across the top that seemed to go on forever. The magnitude alone made me realize how many of us there really are.
They just kept streaming in wearing tuxedos and formal gowns. You could hardly believe that people would keep arriving, but they did. And once again the 6,000-seat tent filled to capacity. I don’t know if there were other viewing areas to accommodate more people; I just know that this tent was PACKED.
The lights dimmed three times signifying the event was about to start and a cheer went up amongst the crowd. You could tell people were excited. After last night’s event, how could they be anything but? They had just seen a watershed moment in history—something they never expected to see. Yet here there was another entire event tonight! Talk about anticipation…. And then COB RTC took the stage and the event picked up right where it left off from the previous night.
Within the first 15 minutes I was crying.
Literally crying this time, I hate to say it—not just moist eyes. It’s funny that I worked so hard to hide it at the time, as I stood there cheering myself hoarse, yet I freely confess it now. I’m not a crying person. I’m not a softie. Yet, there I was…crying.
But the truth was, I was actually blowing charge. I was NOT. STUPID. Goddammit! I was NOT just dumb. It wasn’t ME! Oh my GOD, I can make it. Oh my GOD!
One of the first videos had just unveiled a new release that was very personal to me: Something I had struggled with; something that had given me a very hard time. And yet here it was—mystery dispelled, totally solved, totally beautiful.
I turned to look at my wife. Her mascara was running. Tears were streaming down her face. It is hard to describe the truly spiritual moment when you look over at your partner in life and get that she is having the exact same experience you are…and that all our plans are about to change forever.
We were going to make it—us.
Yet, that was the beginning, not the end. One after another, groundbreaking Earth-shattering revelations washed over us like waves. This wasn’t an “event”—it was an auditing session! We were blowing charge. The string of correct indications just kept blowing away false data and introversion that had accumulated over several decades.
Calm knowingness and understanding set in. No wonder these trainees could get through so fast! I probably could too! We all could. It wasn’t a stretch. It made total sense. How could it be any other way? Totally logical. A peaceful happiness settled in.
Forty-five minutes later I was out of my mind.
This time I was literally screaming. Not “cheering,” but totally-shocked-lost-my- composure-blown-away SCREAMING in awe. I couldn’t imagine anything this lifetime that would ever make me react like that. But then again, I couldn’t imagine what I was seeing.
The event had gone in a totally different direction than I had ever expected it would. I had been happily following along, elated that I was now going to be able to make it, happy that my org was going to fulfill its mission and excited about how fun my job was going to be…and then I really got the true whole track nature of Scientology.
Guys, we are in the right religion. For a moment I caught a glimpse at how big this whole thing really is and I realized that this really is the most important thing on my whole track.
The crowd went nuts. I mean crazy. I mean psycho. It was off the chain! People were screaming. They were cheering. The floor started to rumble from thousands of people stomping their feet.
None of us expected to see what was being released, not even my Senior C/S—and he had been in all the closed-door briefings beforehand. This one thing made everything else possible. It was thrilling. Beyond surreal, it was one of those few times in my life where you really couldn’t believe your eyes. If you had told me it existed I wouldn’t have believed you, but now that it was here in front of me…well, I scarcely believed it still. And yet there it was.
You won’t believe it. I still hardly can fathom it. Soon, however, it will be real enough.
It’s a new Scientology, guys. Ron’s Scientology. The Scientology you always hoped for and wanted. It’s here. And it’s ours. The finale of the event was really what drove this home to me. The final video was almost like watching a dream. It was everything I’d ever hoped we could be—better than that, actually. And that’s where I lose my words.
I just can’t explain it. I would have to describe each part of it and it’s too much, too powerful and too huge. I can just tell you this: the crowd gave a standing ovation for 10 minutes.
I’m not kidding. For 10 full minutes we cheered. People stood on their chairs. They were stomping the floor. We clapped and screamed and whistled until our hands hurt.
COB graciously acknowledged the crowd and they would start to wind down. And then it would start going again. Just as people were finally seated, the cheer would start up—and then, once again they were on their feet. Over and over.
It. Was. Epic.
I just want to say one thing before I go. I have been hearing about “the release of Super Power” since I was a little boy. There had been decades of talk about this day that would arrive at some point in the future. It had been built up into this monumental victory where we would solve everything, where the future would be blindingly bright and where planetary clearing would finally be within our reach.
I wasn’t disappointed.
With Love,
Matt Hanses
ED St. Louis Foundation
