CarmeloOrchards
Crusader
Ant Phillips and Ken Urquhart
http://www.antology.info/video.html
transcript of Ken's talk in Moscow last year:
Ken Urquhart
Moscow 2009
Well hello.
Thank you for having me here.
I apologize for being late yesterday and I thank everybody who made the adjustments necessary to make up for that.
A big thank you to Sergei and the other committee members who made it possible for me to be here.
And to Lena and Oleg and the people taking care of me this weekend. A special greeting to Max and Erika and to Maria, my old friend from St. Hill in the 60s and our other distinguished guests and to all Ron's org executives and members.
I want to begin with a very brief summary of my Scientology history then I will address a few questions that have been given to me and after that, I think, we're going to take some questions from the floor.
A friend of my father's introduced me to Scientology in 1957, my 19th year. I was studying music in London at the time. A friend took me to 14 hours of group auditing over a Saturday and a Sunday. What impressed me firstly was that I felt the cobwebs had been swept from my mind and secondly, that... the auditor presence of the group auditors. That blew me away. As a student musician I had terrible stage fright. I wanted the professional training but I did not qualify for it. I did all the public courses and had a little auditing. One result I was very happy about was the disappearance of my terrible migraine headaches. I haven't had one since.
I was having sessions from a St. Hill staff member in 1963, that was privately, between he and me. And it wasn't through the St. Hill organization. He had responsibility for hiring staff.
Ron's butler left suddenly. A butler is the senior servant in a household, always a male. My auditor asked me if I would take the job. I didn't have much idea of what a butler had to do but I was very happy to think that I could give some service to Ron in return for all I had gained from him. I had an interview at St. Hill Manor with Ron's private secretary, a wonderful Englishwoman. My auditor then took me to meet Ron. He ushered me into Ron's office. Ron sat at his desk at the far end of a large room with a high ceiling and huge windows on two sides. He stood up to greet me as we approached his desk. I was almost overcome with awe at the strength and intensity of the energy that emanated from his presence. Ron held out his hand to me, palm up. I took it, felt the warm embrace of his hand and without thinking of what I was saying, I blurted out, "I'm going to do my very best for you." He blinked. He smiled a little hesitantly and he said, "thank you." I bowed, turned, (and walked away. That was that. I had hired myself as Ron's butler. I spent 18 months in that position. It was just about the happiest time of my life even though I never looked on myself as a domestic servant which a butler is. I became Household Officer which sounded a lot better. Ron and I spoke every day that he was at St. Hill. I took him a cup of hot chocolate when he awoke. He sat at a small table at the foot of his bed, smoked his Kools [a brand of cigarettes, with menthol], drank his chocolate and chatted to me. I rarely said much. He talked about his track, his research, stories from his lifetime, politics, art, the briefing course, St. Hill executives. He teased me a lot and he said, "but we only tease our friends."
00:10:42
In late 1964 I moved over to the LRH Communicator St. Hill post. After a number of posts at St. Hill and Worldwide Ron called me to the ship in 1968. He created the post of LRH Personal Communicator and put me on it. I had the adventure of working only a few feet from the door to his office. He called me in frequently for briefings, discussions, conferences, instructions and chats, either on my own or with one or more of his aides. We had many a meeting together on the promenade deck leaning over the rail. We got on very well for the first couple of years.
In September of 1972 he left for the USA and was away for a year. During that year his attitude towards me changed. When he returned to the ship we were not so close although he did not remove me and would often confide in me just as he had done before.
His interests and priorities had changed in that year. Back on the ship he took up with the onboard musicians. He focused heavily on the perceived dangers of potential trouble source and rock slamming crew. He became extremely bad tempered, authoritarian and demanding of instant and exact compliance. I could not follow him in this path and we grew further apart but I remained on the post.
LRH built up the Commodores Messenger Organization to serve his purposes as I would not.
In 1973 we moved ashore to Florida. In early 1974 he withdrew from Florida where his presence had become known to the local press and he left for Washington DC then for California. He left me behind at Flag to keep an eye on things. His very last words to me were, "You are too much of a gentleman." I never saw him again.
While he was away in California he used the now very much bigger CMO, Commodores Messenger Org, to do his bidding. To be his eyes and ears and get compliance.
I kept more to myself, then the inevitable happened, the CMO arranged to find that I am a rock slammer. That indicates evil purposes. So of course, they could remove me from my post. I went to the rehabilitation Project Force and I went not unhappily as I knew it would be my route into tech delivery.
When the NED for OT's HGC or Hubbard Guidance Center at Clearwater opened in 1979, I was pulled out of the RPF to be a NOTS interviewer. I also did my necessary courses to qualify for NOTS training and in early 1980 started auditing NOTS on Flag public.
In 1981 to 1982 I was the top producing NOTS auditor. But I was very unhappy with how the group I had known in the 50s and 60s was developing. To me it was going further and further out of ARC with humanity. I tried to leave quietly so as not to destabilize anybody for whom I had been a stable terminal. But as I was slipping away I was kicked out noisily and unpleasantly. In fact a senior person in the new management spat in my face. This was in late October 1982.
I have declined all invitations to return and have not received any in recent years.
Since then I have audited a lot, written a lot, done projects, done my own thing, done a lot of solo auditing.
I miss the life I had with Ron in the good days but accept that that is gone and change is the stuff of life. I hope to work with him again one day.
Now to a couple of questions:
The first one is, "Did LRH do any miracles?"
He could have extraordinarily effective TR's in stressful situations such as when the ship might be in grave danger or if there was a threat from a port authority or some grave situation on international org lines. His intention could be stronger beyond anything I have ever experienced in any other person. If he used it in such a way as to bypass MEST, he did it without making it obvious.
He never played parlor tricks to impress anyone. I mean, he didn't make things rise up and fly through the air.
He once said to me at St. Hill, "You know, people would like me to appear in the sky over New York City. It would certainly create an effect but it would overwhelm many and I will not do that".
Once, when he was speaking to me at St. Hill, he sat in a chair in his bedroom, I stood in front of him beyond arm's-length. My attention wandered. Suddenly, I felt a finger poking me in the ribs. I gathered my wandering attention. Ron was looking at me, smiling. His eyes laughing. He had not moved from his chair. If he had stretched out his arm, I'm sure I would have instantly been aware of it.
The fact of the matter is that LRH himself is a miracle. His life and his work is a miracle. In amongst the miracle aspect of the man and his life, are more human aspects and this leads me now to address the question, "What is the most important thing you would like to share with people?"
Thank you for this question.
I will answer it with reference to Ron. And I will give a broad and basic answer. It is very important to me that when you consider LRH and what he's done or said, you consider with compassion about all.
Why compassion?
Firstly, although Ron manifested in ways that are beyond the human, he also existed as a human in this human setting. No human exists with judgment that is always perfect, none. Do not burden Ron with perfection or always rightness. If we idolize or idealize another being we can add to that beings space things which might not be helpful. When you look at something about Ron, or by Ron, give it space. Look all around it and trust in your own instincts, integrity and goodness of heart.
Secondly, it is best to consider anything about or by Ron within one or more of several contexts.
26:44:00
a. The scene that existed at the time
b. Who was Ron interacting with and for what purpose
c. What problem, if any, he was addressing
d. All relevant data in LRH's life before the point you are looking at
e. All relevant data in his life that followed it
Give Ron the freedom to change over time, during his life and since, to develop his work and himself and to be whatever 'Ron' he was being at the time.
Thirdly. distinguish between Ron's different kinds of outflow.
Ask yourself one question, "In this instance, is Ron being interested or interesting?"
Let me give you an example. If you look at, say, the Axioms of Scientology you see that Ron's interest is outward. If you look at the issue on purification rundown he says,"I want all Scientologists to survive World War III." Well, of course, we all do. He was making a point. He was drawing attention to himself and his work and it's what is otherwise called marketing.
So ask yourself, is Ron being interested or interesting. Look at this question and trust your own instincts, integrity and goodness of heart. Fourthly, remember the scope of what LRH attempted in his life as LRH.
How much he accomplished for us all and the price that he personally had to pay. To me, and nobody has to agree with me, LRH found and gave us the key to personal freedom from all sorrow. In its simplest and most basic form, that key consists of the Axioms of Scientology and in the training and discipline of auditing and C/Sing and their support actions. Use of these tools permits as-isness. LRH was the first person that we know of to formulate the key and to make it available to every human being. Please remember that this key opens the door to which we have been pointed by the most enlightened and elevated spiritual guides that have walked this earth. To quote only two of them, the Buddha has said, "Mistaking the false for the true and true for the false you overlook the heart and fill yourself with desire. See the false as false, the true as true. Look into your heart. Follow your nature." Jesus Christ said, "The kingdom of God is within you." Each of them clearly pointed out a good path to take. But until LRH did his work, that path had been locked shut for the vast majority of us.
What is that lock? Our reactive minds and their susceptibility to restimulation beyond our awareness. Each of us now has his or her or own personal key to his or her own enlightenment. That key is the as-isness we can accomplish in our sessions and lives. Thanks to LRH and thanks to the technical people who bring that key to us all. For this alone, I place LRH amongst the most enlightened spiritual leaders we have been fortunate to have on earth. It is he who helped us to open the locked doors to our truth, our hearts, our natures, to whatever we understand as God within us. LRH played for his courage and brilliance, his caring and his generosity. That burden may be with him for some time. We must always be ready in our hearts to welcome him back when he is ready. The first welcome we can give him is to hold him in our hearts with all the understanding and compassion that we can muster. Let one be one as who Ron is, right now. This is extremely important to me. Thank you.
(applause)
One more selected question.
The answer will be brief.
'Your best memories of LRH.'
I will tell you now of one of them that I hold very dear in my heart. I mentioned it in the first couple of years that I was LRH Personal Communicator. He and I worked well together. During that time he often summoned me into his office where I would find him either seated at his desk or standing by the fireplace and its large mirror. On the kind of occasion that I'm recalling I would see at once that he was at an extremely high tone level, action, games, postulates and perhaps some serenity of beingness. His body glowed, his face shone. His eyes sparkled and a beautiful smile played about his large, mobile and very expressive mouth. At a point from about 2 meters from his body I left MEST space and entered his space. We were both very present in MEST but his ownership of his body and his own space created a kind of room which one entered and left. It was more than stepping into a room, it was entering a level of golden and glowing ARCU and KRC, of tremendous certainty and infinite life and warmth, all entirely in the present moment and entirely independent of a place in moment. This is one of the memories I have of Ron that convinces me that he has extraordinary beingness and powers. I firmly believe that he will find his way back to action, games, postulates and serenity of beingness. I look forward to, perhaps, entering that room once more.
Okay, Sergei, do you have some more questions?
The question is, are you on the bridge, if you are, where you are?
Thank you. I've followed the regular Scientology Bridge. I have done the OT levels up to their OT seven, which is solo NOTS and I've done that off and on for years. I've got as far to the point where I am exploring my seventh and eighth dynamics.
We have a couple of questions if possible? What can you say about Quentin Hubbard?
Oh, okay. Quentin was a great auditor. He audited me a lot. Very nice, very quiet, gentle person. I'll tell you a story about Quentin. I was called to the ship in 1968. I didn't know particularly why except that I was in trouble. I expected to go through some form of punishment, ethics conditions and so on, but in actual fact I was welcomed aboard as a new recruit. I had no intention of staying. I had no intention of staying on the ship. However, I bumped into Ron and Mary Sue and they were both very welcoming and nobody put a contract in front of me. I was suddenly put on a very special, very urgent and very confidential project. I got used to being around Ron and Mary Sue again and I liked it. And things went on and I kind of stayed.
I still haven't signed a contract. I mean the Sea Org billion Year contract.
In about 1970 or 71, a Quentin was put on as... put in HCO, the first division, he was put in charge of personnel and personnel files. Quentin was, bless him, a very gentle and loving person but he liked to gossip. He liked to have all the information about people. So putting him in charge of the personnel files was inviting him to learn about everybody and he went through the folders. I'm sure he did it very innocently. But then he found in my file that there was no contract so he sent me one to sign and I didn't really want to sign it. However, I knew that if Quentin knew that I wasn't signing a contract, the first person to know about it would be his mother. They talked a lot and that's a total (?). So I had to weigh the trouble to myself of signing this contract or dealing with Mary Sue. And I signed the contract.
How Quentin and LRH came to have a not good relationship I don't know. But it became a bit ugly and Quentin was assigned to the Rehabilitation Project Force. He was sent to the Rehabilitation Project Force. I thought that was cruel. He was a gentle..., he was just a very gentle, loving, sweet person. A very good auditor,
00:48:45
with a very individual style. He was a Hubbard. It must have been very, very, very hard for Quentin.
As to how he died, I don't think there's any doubt that he committed suicide.
There've been people who said that Quentin was homosexual. If it's important, I don't think it's true. He was not macho. He was in his late teens and during that period there are a lot of men, young men, who are not real sure about where they stand and they want to explore things. I think that's very natural, very common. Quentin could be a little bit effeminate, yes, but I don't think his life was going in the direction of being gay.
He was to a large extent subject to circumstances that were well beyond his control. Being a Hubbard, being Hubbard's son..., and he chose the way out that he chose. For... I did not know him, I wasn't really a friend of Quentin, I was too old but I remember him fondly and with a lot of respect. We lost a very good being but not for long.
What can you say about the levels of OT by Capt. Bill?
Very little. I have looked at some of the materials many years ago. I have to say, first of all, that whatever anybody else does, if it reads for you, if it gives you TA, if it brings you to cognition FN VGI's, if it brings you up to tone scale stably, go ahead and do it. What I saw of the materials didn't appeal to me personally but I was already on a path of... that suited me very well and I'm always just very happy when people get games and are happy with it. I have no objection whatever to Capt. Bill's bridge and I certainly acknowledge that what he put together and in terms of material and activity is very, very outstanding accomplishment. And that I always respect.
Did you meet in your life reincarnated Scientologists?
Yes. (laughter)
What was the communication like between LRH and Mary Sue?
That changed very.... developed over time. I saw them ... I shared their life fairly intimately when I was in the household and as far as I... I didn't look at everything of course, but as far as I could see, they were a pretty happily married couple with a stable family life.
They had separate bedrooms. Very often when I took LRH's cup of chocolate first thing in the morning, or when he got up, which could be any time of day, I'd be coming up the stairs towards the bedroom and out of the bedroom would come Mary Sue in her white negligee and she would run to her bedroom.
They related also at that time as executives. I didn't see too much of that except that there were times when I came up at the table when they were having dinner, sometimes not happily, she got very irritated at him and usually, if that happened, it wasn't very often, she would just generally end it. Somehow she would just stop the whole cycle and they would talk about something else.
On the ship they had separate suites..., on the ship. I don't know what a 2-D was like. I have no idea. But I would say from what I saw, that the relationship was more to do with their respective positions in the organization.
There was nobody who ever worked as hard as Mary Sue did for Ron. Or for as long. They worked closely together. When Mary Sue was overwhelmed..... when things got too much for her on her Guardian post she would rush up to the door of his office at and she would say, "Okay, I resign". And run back to her office. He would call her in, shut the door and they would talk about whatever was going on and she would come out a few minutes later smiling and laughing. In later years on the ship they.... well, they tended to be.... slightly different way. He lost confidence in the GO, some confidence in the GO, the Guardians Office, and he once told me that he had set up a relationship with his own law firm separate from the law firms of the GO, the Guardians Office, were using. That was to me, an indicator of the beginning of an end to something and I was very, very sorry to hear it.
However I never, ever got between them so I said nothing. In later times I was not.... after he left Florida I was not in a position to see how they related but I heard information which I can say I think to be true. Some of it I heard from David Mayo whom I trusted.
The general situation around the Commodore and his comm lines was that the messengers filtered all communication to him. Now, when Ron got his communications... almost... in my day it was always in writing.... he might read something that got him very angry. He might get very angry that the thing had come to his desk, so he could be angry with the filter..., people doing the filtering..., but this fact in itself gives the people who were filtering the traffic a great deal of power because they can put stuff on his desk which makes him angry, but makes him angry at somebody else and therefore not angry at the filter.
One day he issued an order to Mary Sue telling her to handle the legal situation in the United States so that he would not be liable to have cases brought against him. Why he did this, I do not know. In the United States it is constitutionally impossible. Anybody can sue anybody for anything. She responded to tell him that. The filter got her response and said,"Look, Mary Sue has counter intention. She is refusing to comply with your order."
In the resulting explosion of anger he said things that the filter could write down and go up and say, "LRH orders this and that." And that's how the CMO got her. That's how Miscavige got Mary Sue. And unfortunately, we have to acknowledge that LRH set his working lines up that way.
In the late 70s the federal government charged Mary Sue and several other Guardians Office people with crimes. One of the first things that LRH did, and by this time he was in seclusion in California, he sent me a handwritten order to gather together and send to him the policies or issues or orders that he had given that prohibited the activities that led to the charges. Now I can understand that he wanted to protect some part of his position in the structure of the church but he did it in such a way as to tell me..., in my interpretation of what he was doing..., that he was covering his ass at the expense of his own wife. And that was..., that was a very hard thing for me. I still don't like it. So I have to say that I think the relationship degenerated over the years which is a great shame. But, it happens.
What do you think was LRH is mistake regarding the church, if there was one?
I don't think there's a single easy answer. I think to look at it very analytically I would have to say that, on LRH's part, there had to be a certain amount of personal out ethics. The primary manifestation of that would be, in my opinion, is that he set up all the organizations that he created to not point out to him any personal out ethics on his part. In the earliest days that I knew him, in the 60s, he was very approachable but he had tremendous altitude. It was not easy for anybody to go to him and say, "You're making a mistake." I have to say he was such an up tone person it was a hard thing for anyone to think of to go to him and say, "You're making a mistake" because he was doing so much that was right.
01:13:36
After he set up the Sea Org, he certainly created an authority about himself and part of the culture of the Sea Org was never to question, ever question LRH's authority. I remember one occasion when I did inadvertently... I. was not long on the ship when I was his principal communicator on the ship, not yet Personal Communicator, some electrical circuit in his office went out and of course he wanted to know why .... so they found out why, it was some switch had been corroded on the deck above that affected his supply in his office. Okay, why is it corroded? Well, he finds out because they're cleaning the decks in the morning with salt water. He got just furious at this stupidity.
Well, I had to investigate who was responsible and during the course of my investigation I find out that six months earlier, who had blown up and got furious because they were so stupid that they were cleaning the decks with fresh water? was the Commodore. So I pointed this out to him, part of my investigation. Boy, he did not like that at all. So I learned to watch what I said. But that was part of the culture that we all around him accepted so we who were around him have our personal out ethics.
There were truths that we did not dare to tell him. Who knows what might have happened if we'd done it?
When he first made me LRH Comm at St. Hill in 1965 he did say to me, "Part of your hat is to prevent me making mistakes". But when he set up the Sea Org he was no longer open to being told he'd made a mistake or that he was making a mistake.
A couple of things I tried to advise him about, he took no notice. One of them was he got very interested in the book 'Effective PR' which outlined techniques of PR'ing people to think a certain way or act a certain way. I said to him... he was talking to me about using it on the crew and I said, "Sir, if you start doing this with the crew they will see what you're doing, they will observe it and they will learn to do it on you." Well I don't have to be right, but they did. And my job got a lot more difficult.
One of the things I had to do was to filter all of the traffic that came to him day by day and very soon the game became writing a report to the Commodore which he would write to on the corner, right here, he would write, "Very well done, Love, Ron" and that became the most important statistic on the ship.
(applause)
(break)
.... he would then start examining the folders and while doing so he'd tell me what he was looking for, what he was finding and what he was doing about it. I didn't see him do anything or say anything that wasn't already in a bulletin or tape or book or that he didn't write up on the spot for the C/S Series of HCO Bulletins.
What a joy it was to see Ron in his element brilliantly demonstrating his mastery, his virtuosity and his generosity of spirit.
He was generous not only in giving each and every PC the benefit of his knowledge and experience but in bringing the erring auditors and C/Ses to better understanding of what they were trying to accomplish but going wrong here and there.
He was never slow in taking an auditor off a case or off auditing. But he was always very pleased and heartened when a corrected auditor came back into the line and sent him a flawless session.
He delighted in turning around a case from miserable to happy. He put a lot of thought into the correction of auditors and C/Ses just as much as he put into the straightening out of a case in difficulties. He delighted in the wins of both.
On one occasion he gave me a look, smiled wickedly and silently held up the first page of a cramming order. It showed a full-page drawing of a pair of rabbit ears. That auditor will remember it to the day he dies and beyond, and he will remember the very clear, very firm but very kindly intent in that communication. Of course, behind the page with the rabbit ears was the text of the cramming order.
For LRH technical deliverers dedicated to their calling truly are a brotherhood.
I have known CSes who operated with very bad temper. LRH of course often got very angry when he saw violations of technology but he dealt with his anger before communicating with his auditors.
I want anyone to know that in the periods I observed him CS'ing, during the time that he began and wrote most of the CS Series, I saw a virtuoso at work who was sharp as a pin, who was ruthless in pulling his auditors and CSes standards up closer to his own and who did all that with admirable efficiency and efficacy... but he also did it from a place of extremely generous and happy kindness.
There is nothing here that will be any surprise to a trained technical person.
I told the story to only point out that at his very best LRH CSed with a mastery of the work that allowed him to express his great love of the subject and what it could do for beings and to express his great love and respect for those who strive to be as good at it as he is.
1:28:41
[transcript made by Manuel Robalino for www.antology.info, early 2010 - rest will be posted later]
http://www.antology.info/video.html
transcript of Ken's talk in Moscow last year:
Ken Urquhart
Moscow 2009
Well hello.
Thank you for having me here.
I apologize for being late yesterday and I thank everybody who made the adjustments necessary to make up for that.
A big thank you to Sergei and the other committee members who made it possible for me to be here.
And to Lena and Oleg and the people taking care of me this weekend. A special greeting to Max and Erika and to Maria, my old friend from St. Hill in the 60s and our other distinguished guests and to all Ron's org executives and members.
I want to begin with a very brief summary of my Scientology history then I will address a few questions that have been given to me and after that, I think, we're going to take some questions from the floor.
A friend of my father's introduced me to Scientology in 1957, my 19th year. I was studying music in London at the time. A friend took me to 14 hours of group auditing over a Saturday and a Sunday. What impressed me firstly was that I felt the cobwebs had been swept from my mind and secondly, that... the auditor presence of the group auditors. That blew me away. As a student musician I had terrible stage fright. I wanted the professional training but I did not qualify for it. I did all the public courses and had a little auditing. One result I was very happy about was the disappearance of my terrible migraine headaches. I haven't had one since.
I was having sessions from a St. Hill staff member in 1963, that was privately, between he and me. And it wasn't through the St. Hill organization. He had responsibility for hiring staff.
Ron's butler left suddenly. A butler is the senior servant in a household, always a male. My auditor asked me if I would take the job. I didn't have much idea of what a butler had to do but I was very happy to think that I could give some service to Ron in return for all I had gained from him. I had an interview at St. Hill Manor with Ron's private secretary, a wonderful Englishwoman. My auditor then took me to meet Ron. He ushered me into Ron's office. Ron sat at his desk at the far end of a large room with a high ceiling and huge windows on two sides. He stood up to greet me as we approached his desk. I was almost overcome with awe at the strength and intensity of the energy that emanated from his presence. Ron held out his hand to me, palm up. I took it, felt the warm embrace of his hand and without thinking of what I was saying, I blurted out, "I'm going to do my very best for you." He blinked. He smiled a little hesitantly and he said, "thank you." I bowed, turned, (and walked away. That was that. I had hired myself as Ron's butler. I spent 18 months in that position. It was just about the happiest time of my life even though I never looked on myself as a domestic servant which a butler is. I became Household Officer which sounded a lot better. Ron and I spoke every day that he was at St. Hill. I took him a cup of hot chocolate when he awoke. He sat at a small table at the foot of his bed, smoked his Kools [a brand of cigarettes, with menthol], drank his chocolate and chatted to me. I rarely said much. He talked about his track, his research, stories from his lifetime, politics, art, the briefing course, St. Hill executives. He teased me a lot and he said, "but we only tease our friends."
00:10:42
In late 1964 I moved over to the LRH Communicator St. Hill post. After a number of posts at St. Hill and Worldwide Ron called me to the ship in 1968. He created the post of LRH Personal Communicator and put me on it. I had the adventure of working only a few feet from the door to his office. He called me in frequently for briefings, discussions, conferences, instructions and chats, either on my own or with one or more of his aides. We had many a meeting together on the promenade deck leaning over the rail. We got on very well for the first couple of years.
In September of 1972 he left for the USA and was away for a year. During that year his attitude towards me changed. When he returned to the ship we were not so close although he did not remove me and would often confide in me just as he had done before.
His interests and priorities had changed in that year. Back on the ship he took up with the onboard musicians. He focused heavily on the perceived dangers of potential trouble source and rock slamming crew. He became extremely bad tempered, authoritarian and demanding of instant and exact compliance. I could not follow him in this path and we grew further apart but I remained on the post.
LRH built up the Commodores Messenger Organization to serve his purposes as I would not.
In 1973 we moved ashore to Florida. In early 1974 he withdrew from Florida where his presence had become known to the local press and he left for Washington DC then for California. He left me behind at Flag to keep an eye on things. His very last words to me were, "You are too much of a gentleman." I never saw him again.
While he was away in California he used the now very much bigger CMO, Commodores Messenger Org, to do his bidding. To be his eyes and ears and get compliance.
I kept more to myself, then the inevitable happened, the CMO arranged to find that I am a rock slammer. That indicates evil purposes. So of course, they could remove me from my post. I went to the rehabilitation Project Force and I went not unhappily as I knew it would be my route into tech delivery.
When the NED for OT's HGC or Hubbard Guidance Center at Clearwater opened in 1979, I was pulled out of the RPF to be a NOTS interviewer. I also did my necessary courses to qualify for NOTS training and in early 1980 started auditing NOTS on Flag public.
In 1981 to 1982 I was the top producing NOTS auditor. But I was very unhappy with how the group I had known in the 50s and 60s was developing. To me it was going further and further out of ARC with humanity. I tried to leave quietly so as not to destabilize anybody for whom I had been a stable terminal. But as I was slipping away I was kicked out noisily and unpleasantly. In fact a senior person in the new management spat in my face. This was in late October 1982.
I have declined all invitations to return and have not received any in recent years.
Since then I have audited a lot, written a lot, done projects, done my own thing, done a lot of solo auditing.
I miss the life I had with Ron in the good days but accept that that is gone and change is the stuff of life. I hope to work with him again one day.
Now to a couple of questions:
The first one is, "Did LRH do any miracles?"
He could have extraordinarily effective TR's in stressful situations such as when the ship might be in grave danger or if there was a threat from a port authority or some grave situation on international org lines. His intention could be stronger beyond anything I have ever experienced in any other person. If he used it in such a way as to bypass MEST, he did it without making it obvious.
He never played parlor tricks to impress anyone. I mean, he didn't make things rise up and fly through the air.
He once said to me at St. Hill, "You know, people would like me to appear in the sky over New York City. It would certainly create an effect but it would overwhelm many and I will not do that".
Once, when he was speaking to me at St. Hill, he sat in a chair in his bedroom, I stood in front of him beyond arm's-length. My attention wandered. Suddenly, I felt a finger poking me in the ribs. I gathered my wandering attention. Ron was looking at me, smiling. His eyes laughing. He had not moved from his chair. If he had stretched out his arm, I'm sure I would have instantly been aware of it.
The fact of the matter is that LRH himself is a miracle. His life and his work is a miracle. In amongst the miracle aspect of the man and his life, are more human aspects and this leads me now to address the question, "What is the most important thing you would like to share with people?"
Thank you for this question.
I will answer it with reference to Ron. And I will give a broad and basic answer. It is very important to me that when you consider LRH and what he's done or said, you consider with compassion about all.
Why compassion?
Firstly, although Ron manifested in ways that are beyond the human, he also existed as a human in this human setting. No human exists with judgment that is always perfect, none. Do not burden Ron with perfection or always rightness. If we idolize or idealize another being we can add to that beings space things which might not be helpful. When you look at something about Ron, or by Ron, give it space. Look all around it and trust in your own instincts, integrity and goodness of heart.
Secondly, it is best to consider anything about or by Ron within one or more of several contexts.
26:44:00
a. The scene that existed at the time
b. Who was Ron interacting with and for what purpose
c. What problem, if any, he was addressing
d. All relevant data in LRH's life before the point you are looking at
e. All relevant data in his life that followed it
Give Ron the freedom to change over time, during his life and since, to develop his work and himself and to be whatever 'Ron' he was being at the time.
Thirdly. distinguish between Ron's different kinds of outflow.
Ask yourself one question, "In this instance, is Ron being interested or interesting?"
Let me give you an example. If you look at, say, the Axioms of Scientology you see that Ron's interest is outward. If you look at the issue on purification rundown he says,"I want all Scientologists to survive World War III." Well, of course, we all do. He was making a point. He was drawing attention to himself and his work and it's what is otherwise called marketing.
So ask yourself, is Ron being interested or interesting. Look at this question and trust your own instincts, integrity and goodness of heart. Fourthly, remember the scope of what LRH attempted in his life as LRH.
How much he accomplished for us all and the price that he personally had to pay. To me, and nobody has to agree with me, LRH found and gave us the key to personal freedom from all sorrow. In its simplest and most basic form, that key consists of the Axioms of Scientology and in the training and discipline of auditing and C/Sing and their support actions. Use of these tools permits as-isness. LRH was the first person that we know of to formulate the key and to make it available to every human being. Please remember that this key opens the door to which we have been pointed by the most enlightened and elevated spiritual guides that have walked this earth. To quote only two of them, the Buddha has said, "Mistaking the false for the true and true for the false you overlook the heart and fill yourself with desire. See the false as false, the true as true. Look into your heart. Follow your nature." Jesus Christ said, "The kingdom of God is within you." Each of them clearly pointed out a good path to take. But until LRH did his work, that path had been locked shut for the vast majority of us.
What is that lock? Our reactive minds and their susceptibility to restimulation beyond our awareness. Each of us now has his or her or own personal key to his or her own enlightenment. That key is the as-isness we can accomplish in our sessions and lives. Thanks to LRH and thanks to the technical people who bring that key to us all. For this alone, I place LRH amongst the most enlightened spiritual leaders we have been fortunate to have on earth. It is he who helped us to open the locked doors to our truth, our hearts, our natures, to whatever we understand as God within us. LRH played for his courage and brilliance, his caring and his generosity. That burden may be with him for some time. We must always be ready in our hearts to welcome him back when he is ready. The first welcome we can give him is to hold him in our hearts with all the understanding and compassion that we can muster. Let one be one as who Ron is, right now. This is extremely important to me. Thank you.
(applause)
One more selected question.
The answer will be brief.
'Your best memories of LRH.'
I will tell you now of one of them that I hold very dear in my heart. I mentioned it in the first couple of years that I was LRH Personal Communicator. He and I worked well together. During that time he often summoned me into his office where I would find him either seated at his desk or standing by the fireplace and its large mirror. On the kind of occasion that I'm recalling I would see at once that he was at an extremely high tone level, action, games, postulates and perhaps some serenity of beingness. His body glowed, his face shone. His eyes sparkled and a beautiful smile played about his large, mobile and very expressive mouth. At a point from about 2 meters from his body I left MEST space and entered his space. We were both very present in MEST but his ownership of his body and his own space created a kind of room which one entered and left. It was more than stepping into a room, it was entering a level of golden and glowing ARCU and KRC, of tremendous certainty and infinite life and warmth, all entirely in the present moment and entirely independent of a place in moment. This is one of the memories I have of Ron that convinces me that he has extraordinary beingness and powers. I firmly believe that he will find his way back to action, games, postulates and serenity of beingness. I look forward to, perhaps, entering that room once more.
Okay, Sergei, do you have some more questions?
The question is, are you on the bridge, if you are, where you are?
Thank you. I've followed the regular Scientology Bridge. I have done the OT levels up to their OT seven, which is solo NOTS and I've done that off and on for years. I've got as far to the point where I am exploring my seventh and eighth dynamics.
We have a couple of questions if possible? What can you say about Quentin Hubbard?
Oh, okay. Quentin was a great auditor. He audited me a lot. Very nice, very quiet, gentle person. I'll tell you a story about Quentin. I was called to the ship in 1968. I didn't know particularly why except that I was in trouble. I expected to go through some form of punishment, ethics conditions and so on, but in actual fact I was welcomed aboard as a new recruit. I had no intention of staying. I had no intention of staying on the ship. However, I bumped into Ron and Mary Sue and they were both very welcoming and nobody put a contract in front of me. I was suddenly put on a very special, very urgent and very confidential project. I got used to being around Ron and Mary Sue again and I liked it. And things went on and I kind of stayed.
I still haven't signed a contract. I mean the Sea Org billion Year contract.
In about 1970 or 71, a Quentin was put on as... put in HCO, the first division, he was put in charge of personnel and personnel files. Quentin was, bless him, a very gentle and loving person but he liked to gossip. He liked to have all the information about people. So putting him in charge of the personnel files was inviting him to learn about everybody and he went through the folders. I'm sure he did it very innocently. But then he found in my file that there was no contract so he sent me one to sign and I didn't really want to sign it. However, I knew that if Quentin knew that I wasn't signing a contract, the first person to know about it would be his mother. They talked a lot and that's a total (?). So I had to weigh the trouble to myself of signing this contract or dealing with Mary Sue. And I signed the contract.
How Quentin and LRH came to have a not good relationship I don't know. But it became a bit ugly and Quentin was assigned to the Rehabilitation Project Force. He was sent to the Rehabilitation Project Force. I thought that was cruel. He was a gentle..., he was just a very gentle, loving, sweet person. A very good auditor,
00:48:45
with a very individual style. He was a Hubbard. It must have been very, very, very hard for Quentin.
As to how he died, I don't think there's any doubt that he committed suicide.
There've been people who said that Quentin was homosexual. If it's important, I don't think it's true. He was not macho. He was in his late teens and during that period there are a lot of men, young men, who are not real sure about where they stand and they want to explore things. I think that's very natural, very common. Quentin could be a little bit effeminate, yes, but I don't think his life was going in the direction of being gay.
He was to a large extent subject to circumstances that were well beyond his control. Being a Hubbard, being Hubbard's son..., and he chose the way out that he chose. For... I did not know him, I wasn't really a friend of Quentin, I was too old but I remember him fondly and with a lot of respect. We lost a very good being but not for long.
What can you say about the levels of OT by Capt. Bill?
Very little. I have looked at some of the materials many years ago. I have to say, first of all, that whatever anybody else does, if it reads for you, if it gives you TA, if it brings you to cognition FN VGI's, if it brings you up to tone scale stably, go ahead and do it. What I saw of the materials didn't appeal to me personally but I was already on a path of... that suited me very well and I'm always just very happy when people get games and are happy with it. I have no objection whatever to Capt. Bill's bridge and I certainly acknowledge that what he put together and in terms of material and activity is very, very outstanding accomplishment. And that I always respect.
Did you meet in your life reincarnated Scientologists?
Yes. (laughter)
What was the communication like between LRH and Mary Sue?
That changed very.... developed over time. I saw them ... I shared their life fairly intimately when I was in the household and as far as I... I didn't look at everything of course, but as far as I could see, they were a pretty happily married couple with a stable family life.
They had separate bedrooms. Very often when I took LRH's cup of chocolate first thing in the morning, or when he got up, which could be any time of day, I'd be coming up the stairs towards the bedroom and out of the bedroom would come Mary Sue in her white negligee and she would run to her bedroom.
They related also at that time as executives. I didn't see too much of that except that there were times when I came up at the table when they were having dinner, sometimes not happily, she got very irritated at him and usually, if that happened, it wasn't very often, she would just generally end it. Somehow she would just stop the whole cycle and they would talk about something else.
On the ship they had separate suites..., on the ship. I don't know what a 2-D was like. I have no idea. But I would say from what I saw, that the relationship was more to do with their respective positions in the organization.
There was nobody who ever worked as hard as Mary Sue did for Ron. Or for as long. They worked closely together. When Mary Sue was overwhelmed..... when things got too much for her on her Guardian post she would rush up to the door of his office at and she would say, "Okay, I resign". And run back to her office. He would call her in, shut the door and they would talk about whatever was going on and she would come out a few minutes later smiling and laughing. In later years on the ship they.... well, they tended to be.... slightly different way. He lost confidence in the GO, some confidence in the GO, the Guardians Office, and he once told me that he had set up a relationship with his own law firm separate from the law firms of the GO, the Guardians Office, were using. That was to me, an indicator of the beginning of an end to something and I was very, very sorry to hear it.
However I never, ever got between them so I said nothing. In later times I was not.... after he left Florida I was not in a position to see how they related but I heard information which I can say I think to be true. Some of it I heard from David Mayo whom I trusted.
The general situation around the Commodore and his comm lines was that the messengers filtered all communication to him. Now, when Ron got his communications... almost... in my day it was always in writing.... he might read something that got him very angry. He might get very angry that the thing had come to his desk, so he could be angry with the filter..., people doing the filtering..., but this fact in itself gives the people who were filtering the traffic a great deal of power because they can put stuff on his desk which makes him angry, but makes him angry at somebody else and therefore not angry at the filter.
One day he issued an order to Mary Sue telling her to handle the legal situation in the United States so that he would not be liable to have cases brought against him. Why he did this, I do not know. In the United States it is constitutionally impossible. Anybody can sue anybody for anything. She responded to tell him that. The filter got her response and said,"Look, Mary Sue has counter intention. She is refusing to comply with your order."
In the resulting explosion of anger he said things that the filter could write down and go up and say, "LRH orders this and that." And that's how the CMO got her. That's how Miscavige got Mary Sue. And unfortunately, we have to acknowledge that LRH set his working lines up that way.
In the late 70s the federal government charged Mary Sue and several other Guardians Office people with crimes. One of the first things that LRH did, and by this time he was in seclusion in California, he sent me a handwritten order to gather together and send to him the policies or issues or orders that he had given that prohibited the activities that led to the charges. Now I can understand that he wanted to protect some part of his position in the structure of the church but he did it in such a way as to tell me..., in my interpretation of what he was doing..., that he was covering his ass at the expense of his own wife. And that was..., that was a very hard thing for me. I still don't like it. So I have to say that I think the relationship degenerated over the years which is a great shame. But, it happens.
What do you think was LRH is mistake regarding the church, if there was one?
I don't think there's a single easy answer. I think to look at it very analytically I would have to say that, on LRH's part, there had to be a certain amount of personal out ethics. The primary manifestation of that would be, in my opinion, is that he set up all the organizations that he created to not point out to him any personal out ethics on his part. In the earliest days that I knew him, in the 60s, he was very approachable but he had tremendous altitude. It was not easy for anybody to go to him and say, "You're making a mistake." I have to say he was such an up tone person it was a hard thing for anyone to think of to go to him and say, "You're making a mistake" because he was doing so much that was right.
01:13:36
After he set up the Sea Org, he certainly created an authority about himself and part of the culture of the Sea Org was never to question, ever question LRH's authority. I remember one occasion when I did inadvertently... I. was not long on the ship when I was his principal communicator on the ship, not yet Personal Communicator, some electrical circuit in his office went out and of course he wanted to know why .... so they found out why, it was some switch had been corroded on the deck above that affected his supply in his office. Okay, why is it corroded? Well, he finds out because they're cleaning the decks in the morning with salt water. He got just furious at this stupidity.
Well, I had to investigate who was responsible and during the course of my investigation I find out that six months earlier, who had blown up and got furious because they were so stupid that they were cleaning the decks with fresh water? was the Commodore. So I pointed this out to him, part of my investigation. Boy, he did not like that at all. So I learned to watch what I said. But that was part of the culture that we all around him accepted so we who were around him have our personal out ethics.
There were truths that we did not dare to tell him. Who knows what might have happened if we'd done it?
When he first made me LRH Comm at St. Hill in 1965 he did say to me, "Part of your hat is to prevent me making mistakes". But when he set up the Sea Org he was no longer open to being told he'd made a mistake or that he was making a mistake.
A couple of things I tried to advise him about, he took no notice. One of them was he got very interested in the book 'Effective PR' which outlined techniques of PR'ing people to think a certain way or act a certain way. I said to him... he was talking to me about using it on the crew and I said, "Sir, if you start doing this with the crew they will see what you're doing, they will observe it and they will learn to do it on you." Well I don't have to be right, but they did. And my job got a lot more difficult.
One of the things I had to do was to filter all of the traffic that came to him day by day and very soon the game became writing a report to the Commodore which he would write to on the corner, right here, he would write, "Very well done, Love, Ron" and that became the most important statistic on the ship.
(applause)
(break)
.... he would then start examining the folders and while doing so he'd tell me what he was looking for, what he was finding and what he was doing about it. I didn't see him do anything or say anything that wasn't already in a bulletin or tape or book or that he didn't write up on the spot for the C/S Series of HCO Bulletins.
What a joy it was to see Ron in his element brilliantly demonstrating his mastery, his virtuosity and his generosity of spirit.
He was generous not only in giving each and every PC the benefit of his knowledge and experience but in bringing the erring auditors and C/Ses to better understanding of what they were trying to accomplish but going wrong here and there.
He was never slow in taking an auditor off a case or off auditing. But he was always very pleased and heartened when a corrected auditor came back into the line and sent him a flawless session.
He delighted in turning around a case from miserable to happy. He put a lot of thought into the correction of auditors and C/Ses just as much as he put into the straightening out of a case in difficulties. He delighted in the wins of both.
On one occasion he gave me a look, smiled wickedly and silently held up the first page of a cramming order. It showed a full-page drawing of a pair of rabbit ears. That auditor will remember it to the day he dies and beyond, and he will remember the very clear, very firm but very kindly intent in that communication. Of course, behind the page with the rabbit ears was the text of the cramming order.
For LRH technical deliverers dedicated to their calling truly are a brotherhood.
I have known CSes who operated with very bad temper. LRH of course often got very angry when he saw violations of technology but he dealt with his anger before communicating with his auditors.
I want anyone to know that in the periods I observed him CS'ing, during the time that he began and wrote most of the CS Series, I saw a virtuoso at work who was sharp as a pin, who was ruthless in pulling his auditors and CSes standards up closer to his own and who did all that with admirable efficiency and efficacy... but he also did it from a place of extremely generous and happy kindness.
There is nothing here that will be any surprise to a trained technical person.
I told the story to only point out that at his very best LRH CSed with a mastery of the work that allowed him to express his great love of the subject and what it could do for beings and to express his great love and respect for those who strive to be as good at it as he is.
1:28:41
[transcript made by Manuel Robalino for www.antology.info, early 2010 - rest will be posted later]
I’m lookin’ forward to the next installment.
...but if youz makes any dough off it, eyes bees wantin’ sum.
....maybe I'll just sashay on over for a saute, big boy.
