The Little Thread Which Grew - the Apollo '73 to Everything But
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CarmeloOrchards
Crusader
That was really most excellent.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9wFpvRMIIEM&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lwRJ8xTqKlI
CarmeloOrchards
Crusader
a high school baseball player slides towards home, then jumps up and over the catcher to tag home plate
http://rivals.yahoo.com/highschool/...may-be-baseball-play-of?urn=highschool-wp1150
http://rivals.yahoo.com/highschool/...may-be-baseball-play-of?urn=highschool-wp1150
CarmeloOrchards
Crusader
Marathon icon Grete Waitz left legacy of inspiration
BY LINDA ROBERTSON
[email protected]
Grete Waitz was an honorary citizen of New York. She won the New York City Marathon a record nine times and knew the bridges and potholes and borough denizens as only a runner who loved the city can know them.
But her real second home, far from her native Oslo, Norway, was Gainesville. She and husband Jack bought a townhouse there in 1987. Waitz used to train on the wooded trails of the San Felasco Hammock. She was a fiend on the exercise bike at the Gainesville Health and Fitness Center. More recently, as her strength faded, she liked to go on walks while listening to audio books.
Gainesville will miss Waitz. Runners everywhere will miss her. And the sports world will miss one of its most gracious champions.
Waitz died Tuesday in Oslo after a six-year battle with cancer. She was 57.
“It’s a great shame that she couldn’t win this one,” said Marty Liquori, the former great American distance runner who lives in Gainesville and was friends with Waitz.
The death of an endurance athlete like Waitz, once so immutable as she charged through Central Park, reminds us that there is no longevity pass, not even for the healthiest who have such control of their bodies. Or the kindest — and Waitz was so kind, empathetic and humble in that Norwegian way.
She said her toughest victory was finishing the New York marathon in 1992 with Fred Lebow, whose brain cancer was in remission. For his 60th birthday he wanted to run the race he founded. She ran alongside him, and it took 5 1/2 hours. Two years later, Lebow died.
Waitz, an Olympic middle distance runner, ran her first marathon in New York in 1978. She had never run farther than 13 miles. She did it out of curiosity and because Jack encouraged her. Throughout the second half and after crossing the line, she cursed him. She intended to retire from running, return to Norway and resume her job as a schoolteacher.
But she won. In the world-record time of 2:32:30. She called her school the next morning to ask for another day off because she had so many interview requests from American TV shows.
She was an inspiration, especially to women and to girls — like me — because she ran right past preconceived limits.
Gender inequity kept the women’s marathon out of the Olympics until 1984, when Waitz finished second to Joan Benoit Samuelson. Waitz (her name was pronounced Gre-tah Vites) set three more world records, won the London Marathon twice, the Stockholm Marathon and the world championship.
‘TOWERING LEGEND’
New York City Marathon president Mary Wittenberg called Waitz “our sport’s towering legend,” responsible for the huge growth of marathoning.
Waitz was enormously popular in New York and came back every year, even as her cancer got worse. There are innumerable stories of how she took time to talk to runners and visit hospitals. In Norway, she created the Active Against Cancer foundation.
Gainesville was her escape.
“It was a place where she could train and be anonymous,” said Hal Rothman, a runner whose wife Bobbi was an elite runner. “In Oslo she couldn’t walk down the street without being noticed and of course she would stop to talk to everybody. In Gainesville, we’ve got a lot of athletes but people don’t bother them.”
RUNNING IN WOODS
Among the runners who joined Waitz in Gainesville, running past the wild turkeys in the woods, were Rod Dixon, Rob de Castella, Keith Brantly, Liz McColgan.
The Rothmans were friends with Grete and Jack.
“People used to marvel at how hard she trained,” Rothman said. “They enjoyed coming in the winter and, during the last few years, in between Grete’s cancer treatments.
“She would go out of her way to visit sick people here.”
Rothman last saw Waitz around Christmastime, weeks after she had been at the New York City Marathon, riding in the lead car, waving at the throngs.
She would never take credit for it, but thousands were running because of her, because they had once watched her, striding down First Avenue, up the final hill, beating back time.
Read more: http://www.miamiherald.com/2011/04/21/2178057/marathon-icon-grete-waitz-left.html#ixzz1KBCZyM80
BY LINDA ROBERTSON
[email protected]
Grete Waitz was an honorary citizen of New York. She won the New York City Marathon a record nine times and knew the bridges and potholes and borough denizens as only a runner who loved the city can know them.
But her real second home, far from her native Oslo, Norway, was Gainesville. She and husband Jack bought a townhouse there in 1987. Waitz used to train on the wooded trails of the San Felasco Hammock. She was a fiend on the exercise bike at the Gainesville Health and Fitness Center. More recently, as her strength faded, she liked to go on walks while listening to audio books.
Gainesville will miss Waitz. Runners everywhere will miss her. And the sports world will miss one of its most gracious champions.
Waitz died Tuesday in Oslo after a six-year battle with cancer. She was 57.
“It’s a great shame that she couldn’t win this one,” said Marty Liquori, the former great American distance runner who lives in Gainesville and was friends with Waitz.
The death of an endurance athlete like Waitz, once so immutable as she charged through Central Park, reminds us that there is no longevity pass, not even for the healthiest who have such control of their bodies. Or the kindest — and Waitz was so kind, empathetic and humble in that Norwegian way.
She said her toughest victory was finishing the New York marathon in 1992 with Fred Lebow, whose brain cancer was in remission. For his 60th birthday he wanted to run the race he founded. She ran alongside him, and it took 5 1/2 hours. Two years later, Lebow died.
Waitz, an Olympic middle distance runner, ran her first marathon in New York in 1978. She had never run farther than 13 miles. She did it out of curiosity and because Jack encouraged her. Throughout the second half and after crossing the line, she cursed him. She intended to retire from running, return to Norway and resume her job as a schoolteacher.
But she won. In the world-record time of 2:32:30. She called her school the next morning to ask for another day off because she had so many interview requests from American TV shows.
She was an inspiration, especially to women and to girls — like me — because she ran right past preconceived limits.
Gender inequity kept the women’s marathon out of the Olympics until 1984, when Waitz finished second to Joan Benoit Samuelson. Waitz (her name was pronounced Gre-tah Vites) set three more world records, won the London Marathon twice, the Stockholm Marathon and the world championship.
‘TOWERING LEGEND’
New York City Marathon president Mary Wittenberg called Waitz “our sport’s towering legend,” responsible for the huge growth of marathoning.
Waitz was enormously popular in New York and came back every year, even as her cancer got worse. There are innumerable stories of how she took time to talk to runners and visit hospitals. In Norway, she created the Active Against Cancer foundation.
Gainesville was her escape.
“It was a place where she could train and be anonymous,” said Hal Rothman, a runner whose wife Bobbi was an elite runner. “In Oslo she couldn’t walk down the street without being noticed and of course she would stop to talk to everybody. In Gainesville, we’ve got a lot of athletes but people don’t bother them.”
RUNNING IN WOODS
Among the runners who joined Waitz in Gainesville, running past the wild turkeys in the woods, were Rod Dixon, Rob de Castella, Keith Brantly, Liz McColgan.
The Rothmans were friends with Grete and Jack.
“People used to marvel at how hard she trained,” Rothman said. “They enjoyed coming in the winter and, during the last few years, in between Grete’s cancer treatments.
“She would go out of her way to visit sick people here.”
Rothman last saw Waitz around Christmastime, weeks after she had been at the New York City Marathon, riding in the lead car, waving at the throngs.
She would never take credit for it, but thousands were running because of her, because they had once watched her, striding down First Avenue, up the final hill, beating back time.
Read more: http://www.miamiherald.com/2011/04/21/2178057/marathon-icon-grete-waitz-left.html#ixzz1KBCZyM80
lkwdblds
Crusader
Really a case of one thinking on his feet!
What a unique move for a baseball game. That play could not be taught, the runner just had to "do it". A case of thinking on one's feet? Almost, he got the concept to do it while off his feet but quickly rising to his feet and jumping over the catcher won the day!
Things have been pretty quite on ESMB. I don't have anything clever to bring up at this time. Adios for now!
Lakey
What a unique move for a baseball game. That play could not be taught, the runner just had to "do it". A case of thinking on one's feet? Almost, he got the concept to do it while off his feet but quickly rising to his feet and jumping over the catcher won the day!
Things have been pretty quite on ESMB. I don't have anything clever to bring up at this time. Adios for now!
Lakey
purple haze
Patron with Honors
Marathon icon Grete Waitz left legacy of inspiration
BY LINDA ROBERTSON
[email protected]
Grete Waitz was an honorary citizen of New York. She won the New York City Marathon a record nine times and knew the bridges and potholes and borough denizens as only a runner who loved the city can know them.
But her real second home, far from her native Oslo, Norway, was Gainesville. She and husband Jack bought a townhouse there in 1987. Waitz used to train on the wooded trails of the San Felasco Hammock. She was a fiend on the exercise bike at the Gainesville Health and Fitness Center. More recently, as her strength faded, she liked to go on walks while listening to audio books.
Gainesville will miss Waitz. Runners everywhere will miss her. And the sports world will miss one of its most gracious champions.
Waitz died Tuesday in Oslo after a six-year battle with cancer. She was 57.
“It’s a great shame that she couldn’t win this one,” said Marty Liquori, the former great American distance runner who lives in Gainesville and was friends with Waitz.
The death of an endurance athlete like Waitz, once so immutable as she charged through Central Park, reminds us that there is no longevity pass, not even for the healthiest who have such control of their bodies. Or the kindest — and Waitz was so kind, empathetic and humble in that Norwegian way.
She said her toughest victory was finishing the New York marathon in 1992 with Fred Lebow, whose brain cancer was in remission. For his 60th birthday he wanted to run the race he founded. She ran alongside him, and it took 5 1/2 hours. Two years later, Lebow died.
Waitz, an Olympic middle distance runner, ran her first marathon in New York in 1978. She had never run farther than 13 miles. She did it out of curiosity and because Jack encouraged her. Throughout the second half and after crossing the line, she cursed him. She intended to retire from running, return to Norway and resume her job as a schoolteacher.
But she won. In the world-record time of 2:32:30. She called her school the next morning to ask for another day off because she had so many interview requests from American TV shows.
She was an inspiration, especially to women and to girls — like me — because she ran right past preconceived limits.
Gender inequity kept the women’s marathon out of the Olympics until 1984, when Waitz finished second to Joan Benoit Samuelson. Waitz (her name was pronounced Gre-tah Vites) set three more world records, won the London Marathon twice, the Stockholm Marathon and the world championship.
‘TOWERING LEGEND’
New York City Marathon president Mary Wittenberg called Waitz “our sport’s towering legend,” responsible for the huge growth of marathoning.
Waitz was enormously popular in New York and came back every year, even as her cancer got worse. There are innumerable stories of how she took time to talk to runners and visit hospitals. In Norway, she created the Active Against Cancer foundation.
Gainesville was her escape.
“It was a place where she could train and be anonymous,” said Hal Rothman, a runner whose wife Bobbi was an elite runner. “In Oslo she couldn’t walk down the street without being noticed and of course she would stop to talk to everybody. In Gainesville, we’ve got a lot of athletes but people don’t bother them.”
RUNNING IN WOODS
Among the runners who joined Waitz in Gainesville, running past the wild turkeys in the woods, were Rod Dixon, Rob de Castella, Keith Brantly, Liz McColgan.
The Rothmans were friends with Grete and Jack.
“People used to marvel at how hard she trained,” Rothman said. “They enjoyed coming in the winter and, during the last few years, in between Grete’s cancer treatments.
“She would go out of her way to visit sick people here.”
Rothman last saw Waitz around Christmastime, weeks after she had been at the New York City Marathon, riding in the lead car, waving at the throngs.
She would never take credit for it, but thousands were running because of her, because they had once watched her, striding down First Avenue, up the final hill, beating back time.
Read more: http://www.miamiherald.com/2011/04/21/2178057/marathon-icon-grete-waitz-left.html#ixzz1KBCZyM80
What an inspiring story, Carm. Thanks for posting it!
Purple
CarmeloOrchards
Crusader
500-year-old book surfaces in Utah
AP – In this photo taken Saturday, April 23, 2011, a copy of the Nuremberg Chronicle published in 1493 is …
By BRIAN SKOLOFF, Associated Press – Mon Apr 25, 5:59 am ET
SALT LAKE CITY – Book dealer Ken Sanders has seen a lot of nothing in his decades appraising "rare" finds pulled from attics and basements, storage sheds and closets.
Sanders, who occasionally appraises items for PBS's Antiques Roadshow, often employs "the fine art of letting people down gently."
But on a recent Saturday while volunteering at a fundraiser for the small town museum in Sandy, Utah, just south of Salt Lake, Sanders got the surprise of a lifetime.
"Late in the afternoon, a man sat down and started unwrapping a book from a big plastic sack, informing me he had a really, really old book and he thought it might be worth some money," he said. "I kinda start, oh boy, I've heard this before."
Then he produced a tattered, partial copy of the 500-year-old Nuremberg Chronicle.
The German language edition printed by Anton Koberger and published in 1493 is a world history beginning in biblical times. It's considered to be one of the earliest and most lavishly illustrated books produced after Johannes Gutenberg invented the printing press and revolutionized publishing.
"I was just absolutely astounded. I was flabbergasted, particularly here in the interior West," Sanders said. "We might see a lot of rare Mormon books and other treasures, but you don't expect to see a five centuries old book, you don't expect to see one of the oldest printed books in the world pop up in Sandy, Utah."
The book's owner has declined to be identified, but Sanders said it was passed down to the man by his great uncle and had been just gathering dust in his attic for decades.
AP/Brian Skoloff
Because of the cotton bond paper it was printed on, not wood pulp paper like most present-day works, Sanders said the remaining pages have been well-preserved albeit literally coming apart at the seams
"Barring further calamity or disaster, it will last another 500 years," he said.
And Sanders is certain it's not a fake.
"It passes the smell test," he said. "I'm not sure there's ever been a forger born who is ambitious enough to hand-create a five centuries old book in a manner sufficient enough to fool people."
But what's it actually worth? Turns out, not much.
It is believed there are several hundred copies in circulation worldwide, making it not-so-rare of a find, and about two-thirds of its pages are missing.
Still, it's not the monetary value that excites Sanders.
"Just the opportunity to handle something from the very beginning of the printed word and the book itself, especially, ironically, in the 21st century with all this talk of the death of the book, and here we have a book that's survived 500-plus years," he said. "It's just exciting ... The value of an artifact like this to me is the least interesting part of it all."
Sanders is displaying the copy at his rare book shop in Salt Lake City.
San Francisco-based antiquities book dealer John Windle said if this copy of the Nuremberg Chronicle were in mint condition and fully intact, it could be worth up to a million dollars.
One in such shape sold last year at a London auction for about $850,000, Windle said, but not so much because it's such a rare find.
"The rarity of the book has almost nothing to do with its value," he said. "If you're collecting monuments of printing history, monuments of human history, if you're collecting achievements of the human spirit through the printed word, this is one of the foundation books ... Every book collector wants a copy of that book or at least some pages from it."
Windle noted that while its worth to collectors is priceless, it is "probably the most common book from the 15th century making its way onto the market these days."
"We have a saying in the book trade: there's nothing as common as a rare book," he added.
Because of this book's tattered state, Windle said it's likely worth less than $50,000.
"It basically kills the value," he said. "If it turned up in perfect condition in Salt Lake City, now that would be amazing. That would be astounding."
Luise Poulton, curator and head of rare books at the University of Utah's J. Willard Marriott Library, called it "an exciting find," but largely just because of the way it surfaced.
"It's that classic story," said Poulton, who has several pages from another copy of a Nuremberg Chronicle on display. "You really never know what's in your attic."
AP – In this photo taken Saturday, April 23, 2011, a copy of the Nuremberg Chronicle published in 1493 is …
By BRIAN SKOLOFF, Associated Press – Mon Apr 25, 5:59 am ET
SALT LAKE CITY – Book dealer Ken Sanders has seen a lot of nothing in his decades appraising "rare" finds pulled from attics and basements, storage sheds and closets.
Sanders, who occasionally appraises items for PBS's Antiques Roadshow, often employs "the fine art of letting people down gently."
But on a recent Saturday while volunteering at a fundraiser for the small town museum in Sandy, Utah, just south of Salt Lake, Sanders got the surprise of a lifetime.
"Late in the afternoon, a man sat down and started unwrapping a book from a big plastic sack, informing me he had a really, really old book and he thought it might be worth some money," he said. "I kinda start, oh boy, I've heard this before."
Then he produced a tattered, partial copy of the 500-year-old Nuremberg Chronicle.
The German language edition printed by Anton Koberger and published in 1493 is a world history beginning in biblical times. It's considered to be one of the earliest and most lavishly illustrated books produced after Johannes Gutenberg invented the printing press and revolutionized publishing.
"I was just absolutely astounded. I was flabbergasted, particularly here in the interior West," Sanders said. "We might see a lot of rare Mormon books and other treasures, but you don't expect to see a five centuries old book, you don't expect to see one of the oldest printed books in the world pop up in Sandy, Utah."
The book's owner has declined to be identified, but Sanders said it was passed down to the man by his great uncle and had been just gathering dust in his attic for decades.
AP/Brian Skoloff
Because of the cotton bond paper it was printed on, not wood pulp paper like most present-day works, Sanders said the remaining pages have been well-preserved albeit literally coming apart at the seams
"Barring further calamity or disaster, it will last another 500 years," he said.
And Sanders is certain it's not a fake.
"It passes the smell test," he said. "I'm not sure there's ever been a forger born who is ambitious enough to hand-create a five centuries old book in a manner sufficient enough to fool people."
But what's it actually worth? Turns out, not much.
It is believed there are several hundred copies in circulation worldwide, making it not-so-rare of a find, and about two-thirds of its pages are missing.
Still, it's not the monetary value that excites Sanders.
"Just the opportunity to handle something from the very beginning of the printed word and the book itself, especially, ironically, in the 21st century with all this talk of the death of the book, and here we have a book that's survived 500-plus years," he said. "It's just exciting ... The value of an artifact like this to me is the least interesting part of it all."
Sanders is displaying the copy at his rare book shop in Salt Lake City.
San Francisco-based antiquities book dealer John Windle said if this copy of the Nuremberg Chronicle were in mint condition and fully intact, it could be worth up to a million dollars.
One in such shape sold last year at a London auction for about $850,000, Windle said, but not so much because it's such a rare find.
"The rarity of the book has almost nothing to do with its value," he said. "If you're collecting monuments of printing history, monuments of human history, if you're collecting achievements of the human spirit through the printed word, this is one of the foundation books ... Every book collector wants a copy of that book or at least some pages from it."
Windle noted that while its worth to collectors is priceless, it is "probably the most common book from the 15th century making its way onto the market these days."
"We have a saying in the book trade: there's nothing as common as a rare book," he added.
Because of this book's tattered state, Windle said it's likely worth less than $50,000.
"It basically kills the value," he said. "If it turned up in perfect condition in Salt Lake City, now that would be amazing. That would be astounding."
Luise Poulton, curator and head of rare books at the University of Utah's J. Willard Marriott Library, called it "an exciting find," but largely just because of the way it surfaced.
"It's that classic story," said Poulton, who has several pages from another copy of a Nuremberg Chronicle on display. "You really never know what's in your attic."
thetanic
Gold Meritorious Patron
I've been meaning to watch these, but I can't manage to bring myself to do it yet.
CarmeloOrchards
Crusader
The videos are in the same vein as this, but not as funn.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NHALdLzz9TA
lkwdblds
Crusader
The Popeye video is FUNNY!!!
Who would respresent who? Is Bluto C of S or Marty?
Is Popeye C of S or Marty?
Is Olive Oyl the pc?
Is the can of spinach equivalent to a standard session?
The cartoon is in the same vein but creates a lot of questions. How about the can of spinach being a "one shot clear process"? It would be only a key out and not permanent because the spinach wears off and must be eaten each time super strength is required. Very interesting, very cute!
Popeye is not Disney, it is Warner Brothers, right?
Lakey
Who would respresent who? Is Bluto C of S or Marty?
Is Popeye C of S or Marty?
Is Olive Oyl the pc?
Is the can of spinach equivalent to a standard session?
The cartoon is in the same vein but creates a lot of questions. How about the can of spinach being a "one shot clear process"? It would be only a key out and not permanent because the spinach wears off and must be eaten each time super strength is required. Very interesting, very cute!
Popeye is not Disney, it is Warner Brothers, right?
Lakey
Auditor's Toad
Clear as Mud
lkwdblds
Crusader
Does anyone remember Hollywood Squares?
An old high school friend sent me these jokes from Hollywood squares! Some of them are pretty cute. Before I present his list, I want to mention my two favorite Paul Lynde one liners, which he does not list:
Q. Paul, we call it Red China, THEY call it?
A. Paul Lynde: "Led China." Get it, Chinese tend to pronounce R's as L's.
The correct answer was the People's Republic of China'
Q. Paul, a popular song has the lyric, "They've got some crazy kind of loving there and I'm gonna to get me some. What location is the song refering to?
A. Paul Lynde: "San Quentin." The correct answer is Kansas City.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mypHZmXdU3o&feature=related
Now for my friend Doug's long list:
FOR THOSE OF US WHO REMEMBER
Hollywood Squares:
These great questions and answers are from the days when ' Hollywood Squares' game show responses were
spontaneous, not scripted, as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course..
Q.. Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat?
A. Paul Lynde : Loneliness!
(The audience laughed so long and so hard it took up almost 15 minutes of the show!)
Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde : If you hold their little heads under water long enough.
Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high
should you be?
A. Charley Weaver : Three days of steady drinking should do it.
Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years...
A. George Gobel : Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.
Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A.. Don Knotts : That's what's been keeping me awake.
Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
A.. Rose Marie : No wait until morning.
Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver : My sense of decency..
Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say 'I Love You'?
A. Vincent Price : No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty..
Q. What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'?
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.
Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.
Q. Paul , why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde : Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
Q.. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any
during the first year?
A.. Charley Weaver : Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.
Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie : Ralph , the pin boy.
Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps.. One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde : Tape measures..
Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.
Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A.. Marty Allen : Only after lights out.
Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A. Paul Lynde : Make him bark?
Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark..
Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the
habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver : It got me out of the army.
Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde : Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected.
Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head,
what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel : Get it in his mouth.
Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
A. Paul Lynde : Who told you about my elephant?
Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A.. Charley Weaver : I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him
Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has
actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver : His feet.
Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
A. Paul Lynde : Point and laugh
WE DON'T STOP LAUGHING BECAUSE WE GROW OLD,
WE GROW OLD BECAUSE WE STOP LAUGHING
An old high school friend sent me these jokes from Hollywood squares! Some of them are pretty cute. Before I present his list, I want to mention my two favorite Paul Lynde one liners, which he does not list:
Q. Paul, we call it Red China, THEY call it?
A. Paul Lynde: "Led China." Get it, Chinese tend to pronounce R's as L's.
The correct answer was the People's Republic of China'
Q. Paul, a popular song has the lyric, "They've got some crazy kind of loving there and I'm gonna to get me some. What location is the song refering to?
A. Paul Lynde: "San Quentin." The correct answer is Kansas City.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mypHZmXdU3o&feature=related
Now for my friend Doug's long list:
FOR THOSE OF US WHO REMEMBER
Hollywood Squares:
These great questions and answers are from the days when ' Hollywood Squares' game show responses were
spontaneous, not scripted, as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course..
Q.. Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat?
A. Paul Lynde : Loneliness!
(The audience laughed so long and so hard it took up almost 15 minutes of the show!)
Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde : If you hold their little heads under water long enough.
Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high
should you be?
A. Charley Weaver : Three days of steady drinking should do it.
Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years...
A. George Gobel : Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.
Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A.. Don Knotts : That's what's been keeping me awake.
Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
A.. Rose Marie : No wait until morning.
Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver : My sense of decency..
Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say 'I Love You'?
A. Vincent Price : No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty..
Q. What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'?
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.
Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.
Q. Paul , why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde : Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
Q.. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any
during the first year?
A.. Charley Weaver : Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.
Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie : Ralph , the pin boy.
Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps.. One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde : Tape measures..
Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.
Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A.. Marty Allen : Only after lights out.
Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A. Paul Lynde : Make him bark?
Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark..
Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the
habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver : It got me out of the army.
Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde : Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected.
Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head,
what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel : Get it in his mouth.
Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
A. Paul Lynde : Who told you about my elephant?
Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A.. Charley Weaver : I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him
Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has
actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver : His feet.
Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
A. Paul Lynde : Point and laugh
WE DON'T STOP LAUGHING BECAUSE WE GROW OLD,
WE GROW OLD BECAUSE WE STOP LAUGHING
CarmeloOrchards
Crusader
those were hilarious.
afaceinthecrowd
Gold Meritorious Patron
For those that have an interest, I have posted Shooting Stars, Part Fourteen.
http://www.forum.exscn.net/showpost.php?p=571290&postcount=343
Face
http://www.forum.exscn.net/showpost.php?p=571290&postcount=343
Face
Hatshepsut
Crusader
Ok, Part Fourteen already. Here goes. 
..........
Funny Lakey. They don't write jokes the way they used to. D
..........
Funny Lakey. They don't write jokes the way they used to. D
lkwdblds
Crusader
Nowadays, its more smut than comedy.
Yeah, I went to the Improv about 6 months ago. Candy went with me and that whole group of people from Ginger's Gardens were their as well, Edey, Lorinda, Kadriya, etc.
Nearly all the routines were just foul sex and bathroom humor. The comedians, for the most part, were just not that good. The premise was that bathroom and bedroom humor was what made people laugh. How many times can a "comedian" rely on farting and/or masturbation to get them laughs? You know, you hear it once or twice as a kid and you think its great but if that is all that a comedian has in their arsenal of jokes, "who needs it?"
Someone like Howard Stern, works dirty, using mostly smut, sex and bathroom humor but somehow, he does have some creativeness and talent added into his mix and people never seem to tire of him.
At the Hollywood Studio Bar and Grill which Candy likes, we went about 6 weeks ago and they had a show put on by black people who were transvestites, or men who looked like women. There was also a lot of sexual humor there as well. It was very raunchy but in this case there was some talent on display. There was good music being sung and played, the costumes were creative and the communication ability of the performers was excellent. I found many of the jokes not really humorous but because of the way they were presented plus the quality of the music, I enjoyed the show.
At the Improv, there were no creative costumes, no creative music and no real humor in the dirty jokes. I'll never go back there.
Lakey
Ok, Part Fourteen already. Here goes.
..........
Funny Lakey. They don't write jokes the way they used to. D
Yeah, I went to the Improv about 6 months ago. Candy went with me and that whole group of people from Ginger's Gardens were their as well, Edey, Lorinda, Kadriya, etc.
Nearly all the routines were just foul sex and bathroom humor. The comedians, for the most part, were just not that good. The premise was that bathroom and bedroom humor was what made people laugh. How many times can a "comedian" rely on farting and/or masturbation to get them laughs? You know, you hear it once or twice as a kid and you think its great but if that is all that a comedian has in their arsenal of jokes, "who needs it?"
Someone like Howard Stern, works dirty, using mostly smut, sex and bathroom humor but somehow, he does have some creativeness and talent added into his mix and people never seem to tire of him.
At the Hollywood Studio Bar and Grill which Candy likes, we went about 6 weeks ago and they had a show put on by black people who were transvestites, or men who looked like women. There was also a lot of sexual humor there as well. It was very raunchy but in this case there was some talent on display. There was good music being sung and played, the costumes were creative and the communication ability of the performers was excellent. I found many of the jokes not really humorous but because of the way they were presented plus the quality of the music, I enjoyed the show.
At the Improv, there were no creative costumes, no creative music and no real humor in the dirty jokes. I'll never go back there.
Lakey
CarmeloOrchards
Crusader
I went to a HOA (Homeowners Association) meeting tonight on crime and earthquake preparedness.
The host was a local policeman of Latino origin. Some white skinned and white haired lady, raised her hand and asked him about the Mexicans driving by her house playing their stereos too loudly, if they were gang members. Several of us had trouble controlling our laughter.
Another man asked if there were white gangs playing Lawrence Welk music stealing bicycles. Moi?
The host was a local policeman of Latino origin. Some white skinned and white haired lady, raised her hand and asked him about the Mexicans driving by her house playing their stereos too loudly, if they were gang members. Several of us had trouble controlling our laughter.
Another man asked if there were white gangs playing Lawrence Welk music stealing bicycles. Moi?
Hatshepsut
Crusader
Did anyone get a straight answer?
Hatshepsut
Crusader
I've only been to about a dozen comedy shows. All were surprisingly talented. I'm easy.
CarmeloOrchards
Crusader
the cop was completely polite. There is a white gang with some Mexicans in it that steals bicycles, near the yacht harbor (where the tsunami hit)
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