What I have learned in the past 10 years
I wanted to summarise my thoughts regarding my journey into Scientology, my departure, joining Anti-Scientology and leaving.
For the archives, these are my parting thoughts…
I got into Scn in the early/mid 80s. At that time, it was difficult to find written works critical of Scn; it amounted to a few hard-to-find books. My first impression of the org and staff was neutral. They were polite and inclusive, not a whole lot of pressure. I was interested. No one twisted my arm or brainwashed me into purchasing materials or signing up for a basic course. I wanted to give it a go.
Soon after that, I joined staff, almost on a whim. I went to LA for training and endured the next seven years or so as a Class V org staff member. It was probably the hardest thing I’ve done. Working 80+ hours a week for virtually no staff pay. It was insane and mostly unpleasant, but I met some great people along the way.
Afterwards, I transitioned into being a public Scnist and was determined to go up the Bridge. And for the next 20 years that is what I did. Eventually going Clear and making my way up to OTIII. This pursuit included wins and disappointments and setbacks. But, overall I was a good Scnist. My life was about getting myself and my spouse up the Bridge. Along the way we became IAS patrons, and donated to the ever-increasing list of projects pushed by management. We were heavily invested.
In 2009, The Truth Rundown hit the mainstream media and was impossible to ignore. I made the mistake of mentioning it to another Scnist. This kicked off a series of events which led to my SP declare in 2014. From 2009 through 2014, my family endured the wrath of Sea Org ethics/justice, black PR, overt and covert threats; completely over-the-top insanity that many of you are familiar with. It was touch-and-go for a while, but we survived.
Through out my protracted departure, I would note how illogical and irrational they were. They could not recognise truth if it bit them on the arse. I began to see them as completely delusional and downright mean and suppressive.
In the end they converted me into an enemy of the church. And I was ready.
Before my declare, while under-the-radar, I posted on Marty’s blog, Mike’s blog, and occasionally on ESMB and The Bunker. After 30 years of heavy tribalism and suppressed communication, I started to cut loose. For me, this was therapy. I wanted to understand what the fuck happened. The Anti-Scientology Community (ASC) was the place to land. Lots of people who had experienced the mind-fuck that is Scn. They helped me, and I like to think, I helped them.
Over time I noticed some inaccuracies that were being presented to the ASC. For example, several years ago, Tony Ortega did a series on the cost of going up the Bridge. These figures, I felt, were wildly inaccurate and were being inflated to sensational proportions. So, somewhat naively, I posted a comment stating that it didn’t cost me that much. Immediately I was attacked, accused of being a Scnist, an OSA operative, a mole, etc. I thought it was hysterical and unjustified.
This happened a number of times on various blogs. And it occurred to me that this type of behaviour was nearly identical to the treatment I received while exiting Scn. Granted, with Scn it was face-to-face, whereas this was online. But it was the same hysterical tribal insanity, lack of reason, and religious fervour used to defend something I knew to be untrue.
If anyone doubts there isn’t an ASC tribal narrative, try questioning anyone of the ASC Holy Trinity (Remini/Rinder, De La Carriere and Ortega) [ok, I know, that’s four]. Even if what you are saying is supported by evidence, you will be attacked, often ruthlessly. This is an ASC High Crime.
What has emerged is an authoritarian, hierarchical, fanatical tribe at war with another authoritarian, hierarchical, fanatical tribe – you know, the one we left?
The apologist will say “But, the good that Mike and Leah et al, are doing far out-weighs anything else.” I would say, I felt the same way about Scn when I was sipping the Kool-Aid.
Fanatical anti-scientology criticism will not succeed in bringing Scn down. They have more money, better lawyers and probably more members. You cannot fight insanity with insanity. You will lose. And the day will come when you drift away from ASC, and wonder “what went wrong?” Eerily similar to what you felt when you left Scn.
You lost when you abandoned the pursuit of truth, in favour of tribalism.
If Scn is defeated, it will be because individuals persisted in uncovering the truth. We don’t have lie, or spin, or misrepresent facts. Lying makes you stupid. The church lies…a lot. And this will be their downfall.
Why make the same mistake? Why not be a smarter and a bit less tribal?
All it takes is a willingness to look and consider another’s point of view. And when they present you with data that appears contrary to what you believe – check it out. You’re still free to disagree with it. But there’s the possibility you may agree with it, and as a result, change and become wiser.
How can that be bad?
