Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology PART 4

[HelluvaHoax!]

.

The year was 1960.

By that point Hubbard had been performing the miracle of Clearing for a decade!

The tech had been perfected and 100% standardized!

What a great moment in time for the mankind's savior to take a moment to have a bronze bust made of himself, so that all beings could witness his saintlike presence and gratefully worship him in every Scientology center, on this planet! Yes, the bust would be omnipresent, just like Source himself.

​

For the next 26 years thereafter (1960-1986) Hubbard continued struggling with the 100% standard clearing tech, changing it hundreds of times in a failed effort to find anything that could make the first clear.

Yet, despite this epic failure to deliver anything worthy of celebrating with a bronze bust, Ron was nevertheless able to keep his personal post stats booming with highest-evers every single year!

LRH PERSONAL STAT: Royalty income resulting from the mandatory forced purchase of self-congratulatory graven images of himself to intimidated Grade Zeros too afraid to speak up and say: "No, Ron, I already paid a fortune---and still aren't clear! So, I sure as hell am not paying for a stupid bust of you--because you're the guy that personally sold me a copy of DMSMH ten years ago and guaranteed me that if I bought the book I could co-audit with someone for free and be clear in less than 20 hours!"

 

[Operating DB]

I feel a J&D-besmirching-the-good-name-of-lrh coming on...

Is that artist dude using cow manure in his sculpture of Ron? Looks like it.​

 

[ThetanExterior]

Time: Circa 1988

Place: The reg office AOSH UK

Form: I agreed to use my service completion awards to purchase a small bronze bust of LRH

Event: I had to look at this bust at home every day while I was a scientologist until one day I had a burglary and it was stolen. I had to pretend that it was a huge loss but secretly I was glad to get rid of it.

I feel lighter now. Three cheers for the burglar.

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

.

Time: Circa 1988

Place: The reg office AOSH UK

Form: I agreed to use my service completion awards to purchase a small bronze bust of LRH

Event: I had to look at this bust at home every day while I was a scientologist until one day I had a burglary and it was stolen. I had to pretend that it was a huge loss but secretly I was glad to get rid of it.

I feel lighter now. Three cheers for the burglar.

The thing I really love about stories like that one is that I have no clue if its true or just wickedly wonderful satire (Poe's Law). LOL.

Personally, I passed on purchasing a miniature bronze bust of LRH.

Instead, I bought the limited edition, life-sized Madame Tussaud wax recreation of Ron jamming.

Eventually, I had to have it disassembled and removed because friends and guests who visited
me at home were totally freaking out. I had it rigged so that when anyone even walked by my
"Ron The Musician" room, a motion sensor would trigger the PA system to loudly play an
original audio track of Ron rocking out on the organ. And I had it custom rigged so that the
wax Ron-replica animatronically swiveled and turned to look back at the guest, open his eyes
and say (in that distinctive LRH baritone): "Please come into my music room, I'd like to
play with my organ while you watch." For some reason, that creeped people out so
badly they would immediately leave my house and begin writing KRs.
​

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

.

"The value of a clay teapot is not the clay--
it is the empty space within it."
-Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu (6th Century BC)
from Tao Te Ching, the Taoist book of wisdom



​

wait a minute!

if Buddha came back as Ron...

who did Lao Tzu return as?

"The value of a clay demo is not the clay--
it is the empty feeling within oneself
upon realizing they are an adult
playing with plasticine; after
which they blow."
-American philosopher Don Hubbard (20th century AD)

​

 

[strativarius]

I admit to having had piano lessons as a child. This geezer is such a fucking poser. If I had sat at the piano and adopted the posture demonstrated here, my tutor would have had a fit!

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

.

I admit to having had piano lessons as a child. This geezer is such a fucking poser. If I had sat at the piano and adopted the posture demonstrated here, my tutor would have had a fit!

Really?

Even if they saw you were wearing a Clear bracelet (like Ron) and thus knew you were saving mankind (on this planet)?


LOL

 

[strativarius]

.

Really?

Even if they saw you were wearing a Clear bracelet (like Ron) and thus knew you were saving mankind (on this planet)?
LOL

People here have analysed this man's personality in great detail and found him to be a narcissist and a pathological liar among other things. I believe he had contempt for most of us, and to me this photograph clearly illustrated that. You simply can't play a keyboard instrument in the pose he adopted, but it was good enough to pull the wool over people's eyes as far as he was concerned.

There was that image of him behind a roulette wheel doing stuff that would give any pit boss worth his salt a fit as well*. Seems to me if you know anything about the subjects he covered, you quickly realise he's just winging it and really hasn't got a clue. I'd love to know what a real film director would have made of his efforts behind the lens of a movie camera.

* Specifically, he seems about to spin the ball with one hand while resting the other hand on the rim of the wheel. That would never happen in a thousand years in a real casino.

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

People here have analysed this man's personality in great detail and found him to be a narcissist and a pathological liar among other things. I believe had had contempt for most of us, and to me this photograph clearly illustrated that. You simply can't play a keyboard instrument in the pose he adopted, but it was good enough to pull the wool over people's eyes as far as he was concerned.

There was that image of him behind a roulette wheel doing stuff that would give any pit boss worth his salt a fit as well. Seems to me if you know anything about the subjects he covered, you quickly realise he's just winging it and really hasn't got a clue. I'd love to know what a real film director would have made of his efforts behind the lens of a movie camera.

ANSWER: A real film director wouldn't make it past the one-sheet (poster) in order to even see the movie. Because it's an embarrassingly amateurish attempt.

​

And just like his music ("Thank You For Listening") and his scientific book DMSMH ("greater than the invention of the wheel or discovery of fire"), it's all horribly cringey hyperbole.

Haven't had enough? LOL. Okay, here's another one. . .

​

"Don't Miss This Action-Packed Suspense Motion Picture!"

"Don't miss this gripping motion picture adventure when it comes to your areas!"

See the preposterous pattern? Those are "Motion Pictures"?! LOL. Hey, you elite "big beings" over there, trying doing a "big clay demo" of the term "INFOMERCIAL".

As in all things Scientology--all hype, followed by nothing but creepy cringes.

To be certain what professionals really think about Hubbard's filmmaking, look no further than "BATTLEFIELD EARTH" that earned multiple "Razzies" for worst movie in motion picture history!

CONCLUSION: Asking a professional filmmaker what they think of Ron's films is like asking an optometrist what they think of Ron's guarantee to Scientology customers that: "You are only 3 or 4 hours away from taking your glasses off for keeps!" The answer in both cases is the same. Laughter.

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

Top 100 Stupid ROLLERCOASTER Moments in Scientology

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Originally posted by Don Hubbard

Cross-posted from another thread discussing OT Tom Cruise's attempt to sabotage Ron's dream of Clearing the planet---by publicly going PTS, crashing into a wall and injuring himself during a movie stunt.

ROCKSLAMMING ROLLERCOASTER REDUX:
[video]http://video.dailymail.co.uk/preview/mol/2017/08/13/8629901451650352087/636x382_MP4_8629901451650352087.mp4[/video]​

COS elders are currently plotting an emergency strategy how to forbid Scientologists from going on the internet and reading about this or looking at the video--without triggering it to go viral. A spokesperson for David Miscavige responded to reporters questioning how the world's most dedicated Scientologist could be low-toned and out-ethics enough to go PTS and get in an accident, by stating: "These false accusations are nothing but religious bigotry and hate speech. The truth is that Mr. Cruise is a humanitarian billionaire who doesn't have time to injure himself. In fact, Mr. Cruise's personal life is experiencing unprecedented expansion and he has just finished construction on his new Ideal House that boasts an 18,000 square foot bedroom--lined wall to wall with Italian marble--for the future when Tom finds a 2D terminal of comparable magnitude to create his record-breaking 4th successful marriage!"

--------



​

Paradoxically, while Scientologists are terrified by the prospects of going PTS (and making a mistake or having an accident/injury), they should be rejoicing and celebrating the phenomena of going PTS as a huge 4th Dynamic win!

Because, if people didn't go PTS in the presence of suppression and make mistakes, there would never have been even one (1) person since 1950 who signed up and paid for Scientology.

 

[Knows]

Re: Top 100 Stupid ads Scientologists send out

Ads from "died in the wooler's"...just trying to rent out rooms to CLAMS....

"Private room with bathroom in townhouse. Located in Glendale, close to L. Ron Hubbard Way. All utilities included! Free WiFi. Own large fridge. Free laundry. Unfurnished. Private entrance. Quiet neighborhood."

"I have two friends who will be going to Tampa Org to get through SRD on a full time schedule and are looking to rent a room for the time they are there.

One is a staff member from Venezuela (male) and the other a close friend of mine in Nashville (female). They plan to be there from 20 Aug to 20 Sept and are looking for a single room that has two beds and is relatively low cost.

If you know of someone who provides this, if you provide this, or if you are considering it"

"I am considering renting my room for 2 months .It would be a shared 2 bedroom one bath 900 sf house with a guy roomate. I pay 600 for the room per month I would discount it to $400, everything included. It is located on East Dr in Clearwater. Completely furnished."

"Hi! I have a temp furnished room for rent for one person who preferably doesn't have a lot of stuff. It has AC, TV, some closet space, washer and dryer access, use of kitchen, etc. Street parking. Bathroom next to it which you will be the one mostly using it."


OSA is on it - getting their STATS up and keeping their ethics ruthlessly in.

"Please remove. Flag orders forbid renting rooms in Flag area as it cutz across Church income. See FLAG for the policy, I was just infoed.


"Please remove this post because Flag orders forbid renting rooms as it cuts across Church income. See your org for the policy"


"Please remove post as we cannot post rooms for rent in cimodtition with the Church. Contact your org or mussion for tge policy."

( this OSA bot is obviously PTS to these posts....check out all the spelling errors....get out your clay bee-yatch!) LOL


"Please remove thid post becsuse Flag orders forbid renting rooms as it cuts across Church income. See FLAG for the policy"

It is ironic how Scientology accuses everyone else of trying to make money.....like Leah Remini, Mike Rinder and Ron Miscavige Senior et al....

I guess ole Tubbs was right - the criminal accuses others of what they are doing....

SCIENTOLOGY IS DESPERATE for $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

.


Jeez, I can't believe this wasn't nominated as one of the Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology.

Bullbaiting.

Not the part of the drill where a person tries to improve their ability to stay (or at least appear) calm during moment os external stress. Anyone who has spend any time in Scientology will readily remember their "coach" trying to get them to laugh, get angry, flinch--any reaction of any kind. Nothing particularly bad about practicing to keep one's composure, but.......

* I can pretty much guarantee that ANY Scientologist who has passed "bullbaiting" thereafter had innumerable occasions in their life where someone did/said something that made them react. Why couldn't they demonstrate their ability to not react? Because classroom "bullbaiting" is different than real life. It's just harmless play-acting. It's not loaded with real stress, losses, bullies, creeps, threat of loss, insults and actual nasty people doing nasty things. So, it's easy to pass classroom bullbaiting. It's just a symbolic exercise.

* Scientologists who don't react to life situations are in fact reacting! The reaction is that they remain blinkless, frozen and apathetic--when something is really wrong and needs emergency attention. This is why Scientologists allowed themselves to be imprisoned in chain lockers, physically beaten, forced to live in an RPF "hole, thrown overboard, disconnected from their kids, family and friends--and enslaved for a billion to "clear a planet" that can't be cleared (because clear doesn't exist). These Scientologists should have reacted! Ergo, getting a "pass" on bullbaiting is like being clinically certified to be in chronic apathy.

* Finally, there yet one more cruel paradoxical joke about the subject of "bullbaiting". Let's assume for a moment that the drill in fact does allow the Scientologist to not react to life's negative stimuli. Let's pretend they really acquire that ability. So, they should be able to demonstrate it, right? Cut to the scene of a Scientologist talking to a friend, co-worker or neighbor who has read the internet and knows all of the cons, hoaxes, fraud and criminal secrets of Scientology. What happens to the guy/gall who has passed "bullbaiting" when they talk to that neighbor and hear some facts about Scientology? ANSWER: They freak out. They attack the neighbor, per policy. They disconnect from the neighbor, per policy. They fair game that neighbor, per policy. Therefore, even when a Scientologist has proven they can't be bullbaited, once they get bullbaited in real life they crumble and do weird shit that Hubbard told them to to.​

There is no skill, ability or special power that comes from being trained on bullbaiting-- except one.

The feeling that you can't be bullbaited.

That's it.

Coincidentally, that's the Grade Chart it its entirety! The delusional "feeling" that you are Clear. The delusional "feeling" that you are OT.

The delusional "feeling" that you are TOTAL CAUSE OVER LIFE!

REASON ALL THIS HAPPENS IN SCIENTOLOGY: Because Ron doesn't consider delusion as a "reaction" in the bullbaiting drill.

 

[Knows]

Re: Top 100 Stupid CLAIMS from COB - David Miscavige about Scientology PART 4

"Fastest Growing Religion"???

ACTUAL NUMBER FROM SCIENTOLOGY Social Media 2017

Scientologists

15,005 members

:dancer::dancer:

 

[TrevAnon]

WTF???? LINK???

Or is this the FB group "scientologists" which indeed does have about 15000 members?

 

[Operating DB]

.


Jeez, I can't believe this wasn't nominated as one of the Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology.

Bullbaiting.

Not the part of the drill where a person tries to improve their ability to stay (or at least appear) calm during moment os external stress. Anyone who has spend any time in Scientology will readily remember their "coach" trying to get them to laugh, get angry, flinch--any reaction of any kind. Nothing particularly bad about practicing to keep one's composure, but.......

* I can pretty much guarantee that ANY Scientologist who has passed "bullbaiting" thereafter had innumerable occasions in their life where someone did/said something that made them react. Why couldn't they demonstrate their ability to not react? Because classroom "bullbaiting" is different than real life. It's just harmless play-acting. It's not loaded with real stress, losses, bullies, creeps, threat of loss, insults and actual nasty people doing nasty things. So, it's easy to pass classroom bullbaiting. It's just a symbolic exercise.

* Scientologists who don't react to life situations are in fact reacting! The reaction is that they remain blinkless, frozen and apathetic--when something is really wrong and needs emergency attention. This is why Scientologists allowed themselves to be imprisoned in chain lockers, physically beaten, forced to live in an RPF "hole, thrown overboard, disconnected from their kids, family and friends--and enslaved for a billion to "clear a planet" that can't be cleared (because clear doesn't exist). These Scientologists should have reacted! Ergo, getting a "pass" on bullbaiting is like being clinically certified to be in chronic apathy.

* Finally, there yet one more cruel paradoxical joke about the subject of "bullbaiting". Let's assume for a moment that the drill in fact does allow the Scientologist to not react to life's negative stimuli. Let's pretend they really acquire that ability. So, they should be able to demonstrate it, right? Cut to the scene of a Scientologist talking to a friend, co-worker or neighbor who has read the internet and knows all of the cons, hoaxes, fraud and criminal secrets of Scientology. What happens to the guy/gall who has passed "bullbaiting" when they talk to that neighbor and hear some facts about Scientology? ANSWER: They freak out. They attack the neighbor, per policy. They disconnect from the neighbor, per policy. They fair game that neighbor, per policy. Therefore, even when a Scientologist has proven they can't be bullbaited, once they get bullbaited in real life they crumble and do weird shit that Hubbard told them to to.​

There is no skill, ability or special power that comes from being trained on bullbaiting-- except one.

The feeling that you can't be bullbaited.

That's it.

Coincidentally, that's the Grade Chart it its entirety! The delusional "feeling" that you are Clear. The delusional "feeling" that you are OT.

The delusional "feeling" that you are TOTAL CAUSE OVER LIFE!

REASON ALL THIS HAPPENS IN SCIENTOLOGY: Because Ron doesn't consider delusion as a "reaction" in the bullbaiting drill.

Thank you for that perspective.
Scientology sells delusions.

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

..

Thank you for that perspective.
Scientology sells delusions.

Precisely!

And, exactly like the "Grade Chart", there is a "bridge" to total delusion.

It begins at the lower levels with innocuous indoctrination, soon followed by auditing/training in order to inspire, induce and otherwise seduce the Scientologist into having delusions. ("Wow, you are unimaginably amazing! Hey, you are actually a God! Let's get all your miraculous powers back for you so you can instantly postulate and get anything you desire and live happily ever after, for eternity!")

Then at the upper ("advanced") levels, the Scientologist is taught to continue their delusional journey SOLO. This happens when a Scientologist can successfully stimulate themselves into delusional ideas, actions and omniscient/omnipotent "states of beingness".

Solo auditing is therefore nothing more than solo implanting. How else does anyone think that you can convince a person to pay hundreds of thousand of dollars--and "feel good about" chasing 75M year old aliens that are causing all the problem?

 

[cleared cannibal]

17X ??????? Wouldn't that just move one up to one of the higher levels?

Also which one is Bob? Cross dressing Scn ?? Transgendered ?


You know if you do something 17 times there is no hope for you.

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

.

Whoa! LOL.

That was a very strange mixture of mismatched marketing elements!

-- Oddly grinning Scientologists that have been nonsensically awarded flowers and an Ideal certificate.

-- Celebrating the Orwellian status of "17X HUMANITARIAN"--a tortured attempt to statistically quantify what percentage of mankind you have saved on this planet--by how much cash you handed to Scientology management. And the people awarding the status have no humanitarian inventory to give out, because they are using the money not for "mankind" but instead to benefit themselves, their highly profitable commercial enterprises, their fraudulent schemes & to support the billionaire life style of their sociopathic gurus.

-- Horses! (nobody knows why this is religious, ideal, humanitarian or sane)​

But the most fascinating part to me is that lower-most copywriting jingle. I have seen 100s of such Scientology promotional pieces that all have the same command to "UP YOUR STATUS!" It never fails to stun when pausing to consider that grown adults can be talked into being excited about "upping their status".

How did that become a thing?

For Scientology's first 6 decades or so, the only thing was to "up" your case state. To go "up" the bridge. To go "up" the tone scale. To "up" your knowingness and cause level until you were 100% certain and "total cause". That apparently didn't work out for Scientologists, either to its pitchmen or the defrauded dupes who paid millions for miraculous powers.

So, one day (apparently) while upstanding members of the IAS were snoozing, the marketing scheme was completely revamped into selling "statuses" instead of OT states of being. Remarkably, both are claimed to be pricelessly valuable whilst being entirely invisible and unverifiable.

Yet, Scientologists seem to love being ordered to "up" their status. They willingly get dressed up and go to these events. They allow themselves to be hard-sold and coerced into donating more money than they can ever afford.

All for a lapel pin and a certificate. And, naturally, fondly recalled mental image pictures of horses.

If after reading this you find yourself feeling blank as to how/why Scientologists could conceivably allow themselves to be so thoroughly bamboozled & betrayed by bullshit, it is probably a misunderstood on the term "IAS". Clear that MU and everything else makes sense!







IAS: International Association of Somnambulists

 

[cleared cannibal]

.




Whoa! LOL.

That was a very strange mixture of mismatched marketing elements!

-- Oddly grinning Scientologists that have been nonsensically awarded flowers and an Ideal certificate.

-- Celebrating the Orwellian status of "17X HUMANITARIAN"--a tortured attempt to statistically quantify what percentage of mankind you have saved on this planet--by how much cash you handed to Scientology management. And the people awarding the status have no humanitarian inventory to give out, because they are using the money not for "mankind" but instead to benefit themselves, their highly profitable commercial enterprises, their fraudulent schemes & to support the billionaire life style of their sociopathic gurus.

-- Horses! (nobody knows why this is religious, ideal, humanitarian or sane)​

But the most fascinating part to me is that lower-most copywriting jingle. I have seen 100s of such Scientology promotional pieces that all have the same command to "UP YOUR STATUS!" It never fails to stun when pausing to consider that grown adults can be talked into being excited about "upping their status".

How did that become a thing?

For Scientology's first 6 decades or so, the only thing was to "up" your case state. To go "up" the bridge. To go "up" the tone scale. To "up" your knowingness and cause level until you were 100% certain and "total cause". That apparently didn't work out for Scientologists, either to its pitchmen or the defrauded dupes who paid millions for miraculous powers.

So, one day (apparently) while upstanding members of the IAS were snoozing, the marketing scheme was completely revamped into selling "statuses" instead of OT states of being. Remarkably, both are claimed to be pricelessly valuable whilst being entirely invisible and unverifiable.

Yet, Scientologists seem to love being ordered to "up" their status. They willingly get dressed up and go to these events. They allow themselves to be hard-sold and coerced into donating more money than they can ever afford.

All for a lapel pin and a certificate. And, naturally, fondly recalled mental image pictures of horses.

If after reading this you find yourself feeling blank as to how/why Scientologists could conceivably allow themselves to be so thoroughly bamboozled & betrayed by bullshit, it is probably a misunderstood on the term "IAS". Clear that MU and everything else makes sense!







IAS: International Association of Somnambulists

I assumed most here had saw things like this on a daily basis. Two years ago I started saving all these things in a folder and I just looked and there are 4277 in it and I am sure I have missed some. Many are duplicates and many promoting events but KC over the last 6 months has started doing these. I thought this one particularly stupid. I will send a few as they come if everyone wants but I didn't want to clutter the board with things everyone has already seen.

 

[RogerB]

Whatever it is, it obviously doesn't improve eyesight.

Oh yeh? . . . But didn't Ronnie Boy tell us that getting Cleared gets rid of ya glasses???

with that!