Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology PART 4

[HelluvaHoax!]

Donations:



City and County Officials Urge People to Donate to Hurricane Relief Fund

August 29, 2017


HOUSTON – In the wake of the devastating effects of Hurricane Harvey, individuals may want to donate to help affected residents. Houston Mayor Sylvester Turner and Harris County Judge Ed Emmett are urging people who wish help affected residents to donate money to recognized charities that are currently engaged in the response and recovery.


After receiving an overwhelming number of inquiries from citizens and companies who want to help, Mayor Sylvester Turner and County Judge Ed Emmett have established the Hurricane Harvey Relief Fund that will accept tax deductible flood relief donations for victims that have been affected by the recent floods.


To donate, vist:
ghcf.org/hurricane-relief The fund will be housed at the Greater Houston Community Foundation, a 501(c)(3) public charity.

While some may feel compelled to donate specific household items to disaster survivors, please remember that this may create a burden on responding agencies, as they must collect, sort, clean, and distribute items.

The City and County have activated a joint donations management program with various non-profit agencies to manage requests. A phone line has been established by the Houston Food Bank to handle questions about donations.


Residents, organizations, companies and groups may call:
(800) 924-5985 between the hours of 9:00am to 5:00pm Monday through Friday to ask questions about making donations.

___________________________________________________________________

Sylvester Turner, Mayor of Houston is celebrating Houston's Birthday.



HAPPY 181st BIRTHDAY, HOUSTON! Give Houston the best birthday gift: DONATE to our #Harvey relief and recovery efforts!

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To donate, visit: ghcf.org/hurricane-relief
Residents, organizations, companies and groups may call: (800) 924-5985
More info here:
http://www.houstonemergency.org/city-and-county-officials-…/

I'm not sure about donating to those charitable organizations. I mean, I would much rather donate my money to a religion (like Scn) where they are religious and thus can be trusted to use the money for rescuing hurricane victims.

Right now, the COS is offering quite a deal for humanitarians donating to the IAS!

* 100% of the funds donated will be used for the greatest good for the dynamics of hurricane victims.

* Donors will receive a substantial discount (10%) on their purchase of WTH booklets!

* Best of all, the new WTH "HURRICANE EDITION" has been printed on waterproof paper with waterproof ink! That way as our yellow VM rescue boat zooms by people treading water, we can simply toss the WTH booklets overboard so they can read them even before one of the rescue boats finds them and picks them up. We can't possibly fit all those treading victims into our boat because a) They don't have yellow VM t-shirts; b) they look really wet, exhausted and downstat--totally unqualified to be in our church's uptone photo ops!; c) We just don't want to hear the constant natter. They are all complaining with entheta like "I'm freezing!" and "I am starving and dehydrated, give me something before I pass out and die!!!". Per the Code Of Honor, Ron states that we don't have to compromise our reality and listen to all that shit!​

SEND YOUR DONATIONS TO THE IAS TODAY! Anyone who buys at least 10,000 waterproof WTH booklets will get a free lapel pin depicting VM's leaning out of our boat and giving touch assists to drawing people!

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

..

Scientology is ever-so-proud of their Volunteer Ministers.

They are 1.5M members strong, ya know!!!

Here's proof of their stats.

It's written on their website.

So it must be true!

Here's the exact headline from their Scientology's website.

​

1.5M
people trained in the technology of Volunteer Ministers

1,500,000!!! Pretty impressive, right?

And they're not just some amateur doctors. They are highly skilled, having trained extensively!! Don't take my word for it, here's the cut/paste right from their website!

Volunteer Ministers undergo extensive training, equipping them to help wherever and whenever needed. Training in Assists to relieve shock and trauma are taught in the new Volunteer Ministers center in Clearwater.

​

Now, we must emphasize (again!) that these are not just amateurs and charlatans and quacks pretending to be doctors. Because these are real trauma victims who have been seriously injured! These victims need immediate professional medical care!

Knowing the urgency of their patient's dire needs, Scientology doesn't use mere doctors, because they have something far greater!

Professional Touch Assist Specialists--who have done a clay demo of a finger and drilled touching people on a doll!

TORNADO VICTIM WINS!!!

The patient is unconscious, but that is not a problem.
The Touch Assist guy continues touching his body
with a finger and saying "FEEL MY FINGER"....
One can hardly doubt his medical expertise
when the evidence is right there--a yellow
t-shirt and the earnest expression on
his face that proves his faith
that touching the victim's
broken clavicle is
somehow
magically
helping
him
!

​

(tornado shaped copy-formatting provided at no extra cost!)

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

Top 100 Stupid CENTRAL FILES Moments in Scientology

.

We wrote letters late into the night to files where the person had just the slightest contact with the org and then nothing for years until the mail was completely undeliverable (Adunk - Address Unknown).

We didn't have internet back then so I wouldn't be surprised if they have kept all those Adunk files for decades in the basement with roaches and leaking pipes and are now trying to track everybody down until the file is sooo dead they have to use DNA off of the crumbling Dianetics book invoices to find you.

That post is so richly embedded with the cult's chaotically corrupt and cretinous counterfactual concept & calculation of causatively creating customers!

Imagine if Ford Motor Company operated on Hubbard's CF policy!!

-----


​

.

​

July 24, 2017

Ms. Lucille Johnson
82001 Sanders Road
Bedford Heights, Ohio 44146


Dear Lucille,

We hope this letter finds you and the family well. It has been a long time since our Ford Motor Company "family" has corresponded with your family. We do apologize for the delay in responding.

We hate to make excuses, but just this month we located a long-standing, off-site storage location and in the basement we discovered a treasure trove of archived files! You can imagine our delight when we saw that someone in your family inquired about purchasing a new Ford--and now we are happy to follow up.

The timing is, to say the least, quite serendipitous because the new 2018 models have just started rolling out and into Ford showrooms nationwide!

Having said all that, kindly allow us to ask you a short question so that we can bring our files for your lovely family up to date.

​

DO YOU HAVE A FORWARDING ADDRESS OR CURRENT
PHONE NUMBER FOR YOUR FAMILY MEMBER
MR. CHARLES T. JOHNSON?​

With the help of the internet and our skip tracing private investigators we were able to determine that Mr. Johnson is your great-great grandfather. Our records show that Mr. Johnson visited one of our showrooms and entered the "WIN A FORD!" contest that was running at that time. One of our account advisors spoke with your great-great grandfather and noted down in his file that: "Mr. Johnson really likes the new Ford Model 40. Not sure he can afford it with the recent downturn in the economy". The advisor further informed Charles (if I may call him that) that there may be some upcoming "special rates" on auto financing and if that happens, he will mail it out to him without delay.

Due to the passage of time and apparently water leakage in our facility, we were not able to read the documents after that date; thus, we are not entirely sure if Chuck (if I may call him that) ever got the follow up letter we sent to him at that time.

Well, understandably, Charlie (if I may call him that) was concerned about committing to loan payments, and frankly we don't blame him--considering that in 1933 the Great Depression was already in full swing! However, times change and we are quite hopeful that Chucky's financial profile has greatly improved. We have great news as well--that he has been Pre-Approved for the newest Ford models!!!

It is very important that we locate him so we can answer his question from 1933. Honestly, we would have done this earlier but World War II really messed up our normal filing system with most of our Central Files clerks being sent off to all parts of the world to fight!

Now, we at Ford Motor Company have a policy to "Always Remain Positive!", so we even hate to mention this. But, it occurred to one of our actuarial specialists that Chaz (if I may call him that) may have passed away without our learning of it. If so, we send our deepest condolence--but, understandably, we still need to get our files up to date! Even if he is still alive, we are not entirely sure he would still have a valid driver's license because he would be 118 years old now.

All that said, there is REALLY GREAT NEWS in this as well! Because you are related to good ole "Choo-Choo" Charles (if I may call him that) called him that because he came into our showroom via train) you yourself are entitled to a very special VIP discount on the purchase of any new or used Ford Motor Company vehicle!

Using your FaceBook, Twitter and other social media accounts, we were able to also locate your work address, and see that you are within only 5.6 miles from a Ford Dealership in your town. As a courtesy, we have assigned two (2) client advisors to help you! Don't say we didn't roll out the red carpet for your family!

We know that you like to eat lunch each Tuesday at The Olive Garden, over on Singer Blvd, and that's why we want to give you this extra-special bonus. Your next lunch is on us! Our two reps will meet you there and, naturally, you will have a chance to sit with them because even Ford reps have to eat, right? LOL. Over lunch, they'll brief you on all the new models and help you overcome any considerations you might have about your next car purchase!

Again, we are more than thrilled to be able to provide you with all of the above special services. Don't even thank us because your family legacy with Ford earned it. One more surprise. We are prepared to personally award you with the very special status of VIP FORD CLIENT--and we will be gifting you that lapel pin right after lunch and our Ford photographers will be right there to capture that priceless moment!

Sincerely


Walter "Stu" Mockadoo
Senior Sales Manager
Bedford Heights Ford
​

.

ps: URGENT! Even if you are not thinking of buying a new car right now or perhaps don't even need one, we nonetheless really need you to make it go right to buy a new Ford this week! If not for yourself, just do it for us, so Bedford Heights Ford can win Henry's Birthday Game! (Henry Ford was born July 30th, can we confirm you for the super-amazing event on Saturday?)

​

 

[Gizmo]

Did you not mention they must buy before 2 PM Thursday ?

Sheesh.

 

[Knows]

Re: Top 100 Stupid things Scientologists do during disasters....

https://www.facebook.com/elena.lyons.9/videos/10212311980967417/

27,000 items on the plane?

My bet - diapers and Way to Happiness Booklets...

Grant Cardone and his TWO-DEE, Elena, probably need to get up that Bridge. The cult members are forced to put on a smoke and mirrors performance to get accepted onto their Oat Tea levels of auditing off clusters of Body Thetans whilst donating tons of money to Scientology.

Gold and SMP videos are being produced right now - to show at the upcoming Scientology events....these will keep the "sheeple" guzzling that kool aid....and it will Keep Scientology Working....for a while....

Then there is the weekly tropical storm that won't quit - It hits each Tuesday!

HURRICANE LEAH!

Sorry Grant Cardone and Elena - There is NO relief for that one!

 

[Knows]

..

Scientology is ever-so-proud of their Volunteer Ministers.

They are 1.5M members strong, ya know!!!

Here's proof of their stats.

It's written on their website.

So it must be true!

Here's the exact headline from their Scientology's website.

​

1,500,000!!! Pretty impressive, right?

And they're not just some amateur doctors. They are highly skilled, having trained extensively!! Don't take my word for it, here's the cut/paste right from their website!

​

​

Now, we must emphasize (again!) that these are not just amateurs and charlatans and quacks pretending to be doctors. Because these are real trauma victims who have been seriously injured! These victims need immediate professional medical care!

Knowing the urgency of their patient's dire needs, Scientology doesn't use mere doctors, because they have something far greater!

Professional Touch Assist Specialists--who have done a clay demo of a finger and drilled touching people on a doll!

TORNADO VICTIM WINS!!!

The patient is unconscious, but that is not a problem.
The Touch Assist guy continues touching his body
with a finger and saying "FEEL MY FINGER"....
One can hardly doubt his medical expertise
when the evidence is right there--a yellow
t-shirt and the earnest expression on
his face that proves his faith
that touching the victim's
broken clavicle is
somehow
magically
helping
him
!

​

(tornado shaped copy-formatting provided at no extra cost!)

HISSSSSSSSS TERICAL!

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

.

--snipped--
This was one aspect of Scientology that I couldn't bear: the idea that your money belongs to the org. If you dare to want to have SAVINGS, or to maintain some equity in your house, then you are a degraded being, operating on only one dynamic. An 'only one'. This is the most extreme form of Communism imaginable. Nothing belongs to you - it should all flow to the Org. If you say that you want to maintain some savings, you are immediately asked to justify it. As if wanting to manage your own finances, and keep some money aside for the future, are sins.

Outstanding post. You have illuminated one of Scientology's darkest & dirtiest little secrets!

This one. . .

...the idea that your money belongs to the org.​

and this one. . .

...nothing belongs to you.​

Many ex-scientologists never quite get a clear-headed handle on this diabolical little mind-control trick. They just "write off" the vast sums they wasted on "donations"--as a fated consequence of their naivety, gullibility or stupidity. Well, it is all those things, but so much more!

Deeply and pervasively embedded within Hubbard's "policy" is the fanatical mandate that Scientology already owns this planet and everything on it. And of course by "Scientology" we really mean senior management.

And naturally, "Senior Management" really means just the cult's c-suite messiah du jour (Commodore and/or COB). Here is but one exemplar quote (1) from Hubbard's sacred "scripture":

"You are the people the planet obeys!
You are the people who own the planet!"
L. Ron Hubbard


​

Quite surprisingly, recently published scientific research has revealed that Hubbard's disconcerting idea may in fact have historical resonance. To wit, a panel of world renowned psychologists, sociologists & anthropologists discovered that this ostensibly anomalous attitude has been found in homo sapiens in more than just this modern era.

They were even miraculously able to restore and translate a scrap of ancient lost-language papyri--that contained a special word that identified persons who believed themselves to have a certain entitlement to the planet and its contents.

Thieves.

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

Top 100 Stupid ON THIS PLANET Moments in Scientology

..

A very huge win for Billy Blowdown!

He is featured in this month's Advance! magazine, promoting OT VIII !!!

 

[Gizmo]

Yikes ! Is Billy holding hand grenades ?

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

.

Yikes ! Is Billy holding hand grenades ?

LOL

In truth, Billy Blowdown will pretty much hold anything that even looks like auditing cans.

One time, after a mindblowingly miraculous Solo Nots session, Billy turned in his worksheets that were overflowing with causative cognitions, wondrous wins, breathtaking blowdowns and fabulous F/Ns!

And all that while mistakenly holding diet Pepsi cans!

Yes, kind of thing happened often to Billy because he was chronically so blown out that he often had few or no attention units in the MEST universe! It's an OT thing.

Making it more absurd, it turns out that the full Pepsi cans were not even plugged in! When he was sent to cramming, Billy stated: "Hey, I live in the theta universe so I don't let myself get derailed with facts and other reality-based DevT." When the Cramming Officer kept insisting he do a clay demo of why a meter won't have any reads if the cans are not plugged in---Billy just laughed and promptly wrote yet another Success Story about how he was able to endow some of his theta-endowment to the meter so that it too had knowingness!

 

[Churchill]

Volunteer Ministers risk life and limb getting photos of other VM's appearing to be doing something really important, on this planet.

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

.

Volunteer Ministers risk life and limb getting photos of other VM's appearing to be doing something really important, on this planet.

View attachment 13763​

LOL

With the shocking attrition of active Scientologists--and the even more minuscule percentage of those remaining being interested at all in paying $500,000 for magical OT levels that don't work--the few stragglers that still hang around are only interested in procuring quick, easy and cheap Commendation Reports, Certificates and Statuses!

VOLUNTEER MINISTERS - IDEAL SCENE​

NOBODY IS DOING ANYTHING, SO THERE'S NOTHING LEFT TO DO--

EXCEPT GET IN YOUR "FLOW THREE" ON THIS PLANET

(Others Taking Photos of Others Taking Photos of Photo Ops)​

 

[cleared cannibal]

Trying to see if I understand how to post.

Special message from Maggie. They only need a little more.

• (211)
• 
  View this email in your browser
  
  ​
  
  Church of Scientology Kansas City
  2 East 39th Street
  Kansas City, Missouri 64111
  
  Hello!
  
  Our future Ideal Org building is in the Crossroads District of Kansas City which is the Art District.
  It has been undergoing a lot of restoration. All the empty buildings surrounding our future building are under construction and being rehabbed. A new trolley line was put in a block east of our building, which spans Crown Center through downtown to the City Market. There are hundreds of small clubs and art galleries in this district. It is a busy, upbeat and very cool neighborhood.
  
  We held an event last night in our future Ideal Org Building. We had about 25-30 public and some staff. We all went out and passed out promo, in less than 15 minutes we passed out 500 pieces of promo with LRH quotes about art. I then gave a tour of our future Ideal Org building and some history of the building. I think that was the first event where we passed out promo!
  
  Everyone got a chance to experience "First Friday". It is a monthly event on the first Friday of every month where all the galleries are open, the food trucks come out, there are concerts and street musicians and fun everywhere. The crowd is upstat, uptone and very friendly.
  
  I wanted everyone to get a reality on what it will be like on the Div 6 public lines. It was crazy. It was like times square on New Years eve. There were wall to wall people all around our building as well as in the streets and around the neighborhood. I think everyone was blown away. Until you actually see it, its a bit unbelievable.
  
  Without any body routing or solicitation in about 30 minutes 30 people walked into our future Ideal Org building wondering what was happening and what we were doing. I toured them and answered their questions about Scientology. It was so much fun. Its really exciting. If our building was open we would have had over a thousand people in the lobby viewing the displays without any effort. This is a dream come true. Image the possibilities.
  
  If you want to be part of the biggest Scientology expansion in the United States and the Midwest, create big effects and help get thousands on the Bridge please help us pull off this target. We need to raise another 2.4 million to start our construction. And we want to start next month.
  
  We have all worked very hard for the last 10 years on this project. Its time to get it done and get down to the business of clearing the Midwest. Please help us make this target we only have a few weeks. Move up in status and create the largest Ideal Org here in the Midwest with the biggest Division 6 in the Untied States. You can be a hero and create a beautiful, creative future for millions of people!
  
  Love Maggie
  Executive Director
  Kansas City

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

Special message from Maggie. They only need a little more.

View this email in your browser

LOL.

I knew it was only a matter of time before Scientologists would discover derivitives for the all-purpose, confidence-boosting, altitude-altering, gravitas-inducing trope "on this planet".

Without further delay, we proudly present you with the newest entry into the lexicon of:

RIDICULOUS RON RHETORIC
& OTHER CURIOUS CULT CLICHES
ON THIS PLANET & IN OUR BUILDING​

Church of Scientology Kansas City
2 East 39th Street
Kansas City, Missouri 64111

Hello!

Our future Ideal Org building is in the Crossroads District of Kansas City which is the Art District.

It has been undergoing a lot of restoration. All the empty buildings surrounding our future building are under construction and being rehabbed. A new trolley line was put in a block east of our building, which spans Crown Center through downtown to the City Market. There are hundreds of small clubs and art galleries in this district. It is a busy, upbeat and very cool neighborhood.

We held an event last night in our future Ideal Org Building. We had about 25-30 public and some staff. We all went out and passed out promo, in less than 15 minutes we passed out 500 pieces of promo with LRH quotes about art. I then gave a tour of our future Ideal Org building and some history of the building. I think that was the first event where we passed out promo!

Everyone got a chance to experience "First Friday". It is a monthly event on the first Friday of every month where all the galleries are open, the food trucks come out, there are concerts and street musicians and fun everywhere. The crowd is upstat, uptone and very friendly.

I wanted everyone to get a reality on what it will be like on the Div 6 public lines. It was crazy. It was like times square on New Years eve. There were wall to wall people all around our building as well as in the streets and around the neighborhood. I think everyone was blown away. Until you actually see it, its a bit unbelievable.

Without any body routing or solicitation in about 30 minutes 30 people walked into our future Ideal Org building wondering what was happening and what we were doing. I toured them and answered their questions about Scientology. It was so much fun. Its really exciting. If our building was open we would have had over a thousand people in the lobby viewing the displays without any effort. This is a dream come true. Image the possibilities.

If you want to be part of the biggest Scientology expansion in the United States and the Midwest, create big effects and help get thousands on the Bridge please help us pull off this target. We need to raise another 2.4 million to start our construction. And we want to start next month.

We have all worked very hard for the last 10 years on this project. Its time to get it done and get down to the business of clearing the Midwest. Please help us make this target we only have a few weeks. Move up in status and create the largest Ideal Org here in the Midwest with the biggest Division 6 in the Untied States. You can be a hero and create a beautiful, creative future for millions of people!

Love

Maggie
Executive Director
Kansas City


Holy Hell! Aside from that letter being a cringey cult cluster of creepy cliches ("Ideal", "upstat", "uptone", "biggest Scn expansion", "create big effects", "get thousands on the bridge", "clearing the midwest", "millions of people", "move up in status", et al) the organization's top executive (Maggie) openly admits that after 10 years of working on it, they are still at least $2.4 million short.

Think of it! The most able and supernaturally powerful OTs on this planet want to sell you their TOTAL CAUSE TECHNOLOGY. To get it, you have to give them $500,000. Yet, their miraculous tech (that makes the able more able) is not able to create a single ideal auditing room so they can deliver their ideal tech in an ideal building. Ten years and they still can't deliver their miraculous clearing tech because they can't figure out how to rent a tiny 10x10 sq. foot room they can furnish with a desk and two chairs!

What's that you say, Maggie? You say that Ron's intergalactic sector-salvaging tech won't work if the floor is wood or linoleum? What's that? It has to be imported ideal Italian marble?

Yeah, that's what we thought--we'll just add that one to the list of our favorite planet clearers':

"TOP FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND REASONS
(BESIDES 'WE DON'T DO PARLOR TRICKS')
WHY WE CAN'T CLEAR THE PLANET OR
PROVE SCIENTOLOGY WORKS ON THIS PLANET" ​

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

.
Footnote to the previous post, which celebrates the cliche "our (ideal) building" as the new "on this planet".

They endlessly pitch and chant the meaningless expressions "our building" and "ideal org" at each other and themselves. It's a sort of self-induced hypno-euphoric "thumb" to stick in the dike--in order to prevent the unleash of an entheta tsunami (i.e. facts/reality) on themselves.

R-FACTOR TO SCIENTOLOGISTS: It's not "our" building. It's not "your" building. It's not Scientologists' building. It's not the Church of Scientology's building. And, there is nothing even remotely "Ideal" about any of this. The building belongs to one person and they're a violently psychotic SP criminal. WHAT TO DO: Clay demo how looking at a complete disaster and thereafter compulsively chanting the mantra "Ideal" is not actually ideal.

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

.

Really cool post by Anon1 that had some very refreshingly zen-simple observations. . .

------​

---EDITED (full post at link)

"A Scientology 'church' is not at all called a church by scientology,
it's called an Org which is short for Organization. Calling it a church is a front."​

"If you say there is nothing wrong with you when you do the personality test, they will
deduct that you are so superficial that you refuse to look at or accept your 'reactive mind' ​

.

Great! I love the smell of clarity in the morning!

[ "A Scientology 'church' is not at all called a church by Scientology......." ]:
That is a remarkable insight. The subject (church vs. business) is often discussed amongst critics, but I don't ever remember anyone making that laser focused observation. It's very illuminating that Scientologists (behind closed doors) don't call it a church when talking to each other! Only people within the secret society know full well that it's an "organization" that measures its sacred soul-salvaging success by graphing fanatically micromanaged "GROSS INCOME" statistics.

There may be one exception to the rule of Scientologists calling it an "org" rather than a church:

NEW PRECLEAR
I still don't see why it is so outrageously
expensive to go up the Bridge.

REGISTRAR
Well, your donations have to support an entire org!

NEW PRECLEAR
Huh? What's an org?

REGISTRAR
An org! An organization! We have a gargantuan worldwide
organization to run. Organizations require tons of money!

NEW PRECLEAR
Whuttt? An organization? I thought you said it was a church.

REGISTRAR
Trust me, it's an organization. To clear the planet it takes
massive lines and terminals and resources and an army
of highly trained management executives. We're just
like any other global organization that is kicking ass!

NEW PRECLEAR
So, let me get this straight. Scientology's not really a
religious church it's a global organization that is
kicking ass? Are you serious? WTF?

REGISTRAR
Yeah, totally serious. We're just like Amazon or Apple!
We're just like any money making commercial business.
For example, what business are you in?

NEW PRECLEAR
Me? I am an investigative journalist.

REGISTRAR
OMG! You were sent here to sabotage Ron's
dream of clearing the planet!

NEW PRECLEAR
Hey calm down. You people came up to ME on the street
and wouldn't take no for an answer unless I came inside
your church, I mean your organization.

REGISTRAR
Organization?!!!
How dare you try to try to spew your religious
hate and bigotry here in our church!
​

Scientology Rhetorical Schizophrenia: Virtually all of Scientology organizations operate at 1.1 on the tone scale. However, any time a Scientologist is enturbulated or feels threatened by entheta about their org's crimes, they descend 0.1 lower into the tone level of 1.0 (fear)--at which moment they cease going into the org for auditing and begin going into their church to worship.




[ "If you say there's nothing wrong with you when you do the Personality Test..." ]:
There is only one "standard" evaluation that a Scientology staff member is permitted give to a wog that has just taken the OCA Personality Test.

If the Personality Test score is low, that's bad.

If the Personality Test score is high, that's also bad--requiring a vastly larger test estimate--in order to first address and peel away all the "valences" and "BTs"--so that the being that paid for the auditing can finally be audited.

We now (magician's code be damned!) reveal the secret behind how Scientology performs its magic trick:

TEST EVALUATOR
Well, I've just scored your OCA and we now have
the conclusive scientific results!​

WOG
Wow! Really?

TEST EVALUATOR
Absolutely! We have now determined a precise
analytical evaluation of your personality.

WOG
Wow! What did it say?

TEST EVALUTOR
You have a bad personality.​

Scientology Personality Tests: The only game test in the universe where everyone wins fails.

 

[cleared cannibal]

Taking us to the cradle of US democracy now.

A long one but need to keep you all up to date.

Nothing about getting up the bridge just statuses being increased,

 

[TheOriginalBigBlue]

.
///

[ "If you say there's nothing wrong with you when you do the Personality Test..." ]:
There is only one "standard" evaluation that a Scientology staff member is permitted give to a wog that has just taken the OCA Personality Test.

If the Personality Test score is low, that's bad.

If the Personality Test score is high, that's also bad--requiring a vastly larger test estimate--in order to first address and peel away all the "valences" and "BTs"--so that the being that paid for the auditing can finally be audited.

We now (magician's code be damned!) reveal the secret behind how Scientology performs its magic trick:

TEST EVALUATOR
Well, I've just scored your OCA and we now have
the conclusive scientific results!​

WOG
Wow! Really?

TEST EVALUATOR
Absolutely! We have now determined a precise
analytical evaluation of your personality.

WOG
Wow! What did it say?

TEST EVALUTOR
You have a bad personality.​

Scientology Personality Tests: The only game test in the universe where everyone wins fails.

This is correct. If you test low you need Scientology but if you test too high you also need Scientology because your results are distorted by your superficiality, your social veneer, your natural ability to intuit what will give you a high test score instead of revealing your true results. You might just be a very clever sociopath instead of a legitimate normal person.

This test is given to public and staff routinely to provide the Church with a map of your case progress and for evaluating staff qualification for posting or Sea Org eligibility, etc. Each time you do the test you become more familiar with the questions and what answers to give to achieve a better result. To point this out would be to criticize LRH and the Tech so no one ever discusses the cumulative effect and they pretend all improvement is case gain due to Scientology. Even if your results go up and then back down they can say it went down because you are getting rid of your fake social mechanisms due to Scientology and becoming more real - keep on doing Scientology and the results will go back up. It's very clever but they sincerely believe this.

 

[Knows]

This video is priceless - L Ron Hubbard blubbering like I have never heard before...

Itsa...Itsa...Itsa - Itsa crock of Shit - that Scientology!!

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

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--snipped--
If you test low you need Scientology but if you test too high you also need Scientology because your results are distorted by your superficiality, your social veneer, your natural ability to intuit what will give you a high test score instead of revealing your true results.

Even if your results go up and then back down they can say it went down because you are getting rid of your fake social mechanisms due to Scientology and becoming more real - keep on doing Scientology and the results will go back up. It's very clever but they sincerely believe this.

Exactly!

The OCA is one of the cult's top gimmicks to keep "parishioners" dumb & donating. It is a prime example of the "HUBBARD LAW OF COMMOTION", which states:

In Scientology, for each and every policy and piece of tech--
there is an equal and opposite policy and piece of tech"​

Ergo, if your OCA score is LOW, that's very bad and you need hundreds of thousands of dollars of Scientology auditing to bring your test score up. And, if your OCA score is HIGH, that's very bad and you need hundreds of thousands of dollars of Scientology auditing to bring your test score down.