Raffy John, honey, it's all o.k. It really is!
I can share this viewpoint about what you have to say here:
"I seem to have instigated a “War of Viewpoints” and “An Ego War“, and I do not want to submit my story if it is going to cause people to war with each other."
This so-called ego war of viewpoints has been going on since way before you got here, and it will continue for some time to come. Scientology is a very divisive subject! Many people have been so badly hurt that their feelings are raw. Your experience is your experience. You haven't really hurt or harmed anybody here by writing about it and your recollections of your days "in" Scientology.
I too, have a very thin skin, and have been chewed up and spat out by more than one poster here...it's not pleasant, but it's not the end of anybody's world either, if folks don't like me or don't agree with what I have to say, or my attitude rubs them the wrong way.
The same is true for you.
I stay because I have really made friends here, and because I am still learning about the nature of Life, Love and the Universe, the learning of which is something that I value more than anything else,
and because I perceive that I might just be able to help somebody sometime.
I know that you are someone who loves to help others too, as are most of the regular posters on this thread...I think this is the "real" glue that holds us together despite all our diversity and different viewpoints. (Pssst-that and the surfing!) I also think all of our collective "Spiritual Teammates" are assisting us in forwarding the "project" of this thread! Yeah, I experience them and I'm not afraid to say so!!!
You do have friends here John, it may just take a little time for you to locate them! I am here for one, and there is Lakey and Blue Spirit. I am sure there are others, as well. Grant us time to get to know each other.
Be the big being that you are, and don't take any criticism of your words too personally, or let it cause you to shut yourself down! I don't see that you have manifested harming anybody here, at all. It's good to be aware that our words have effect on people, but don't edit yourself into silence! What you have to share is important. It will help people to see the subject of Scientology more clearly.
I want to encourage you to stay. We all "re-stimulate" each other all the time, and it's just a part of the life process of learning, growing and healing. It's not a big sin in the world outside of COS. I like to think of us as rocks being tumbled about together by the flow of a mighty river, after a while, we become beautiful smooth stones. All the rough edges get chipped off or polished away.
Don't feel that you have to share anything earth-shattering to make an impression on us...the energy of your being, that you are kind and care about helping people comes through loud and clear, and people will be curious about your life experiences and want to learn more about you, as they get to know you. Let people get to know you a little more, and then telling your story will go more easily.
You do have a perspective based on your own personal experiences that is unique, and I know many of us want to hear your story. We love personal stories around here! Everyone has a piece of Scientology history, and I know yours can be a valuable contribution, because you worked with Ron directly and have not spoken of it publicly yet.
My heartfelt condolences on the passing of your beloved wife. It's very human to feel survivor's guilt after the passing of a loved one, I have grappled with it myself. It eases with time, and for you, it hasn't even been a year yet. In my personal experience, as well as by observation of others, the first year...with all the firsts of important dates and holidays without them is by far the hardest, so John, please be patient with yourself, and be kind to yourself. The worst year is almost behind you.
Be patient with the people here too...all of us are wounded in our own personal ways (the human condition), and many of us are conscious of being here to help each other to heal, while healing ourselves as well.
You haven't harmed anybody by posting here, not really. Many of the drama queens on the board enjoy getting all excited!

They really do! They import drama from other websites sometimes, if things get too boring for them! I won't name any names, but some of them I like very much!

Don't allow yourself to be disturbed or harmed either, by anything that anybody posts here.
Please continue with your story whenever you feel comfortable doing so. If it feels easier, just have fun being here for awhile, surf around on the threads and get to know some of the members here, and what's being discussed. Believe me, it's all over the map!
If you like, just play for awhile John, have some fun with being here...you are still a newbie, and there is no particular way to do it right. It's a process of getting to know people, and letting yourself be known.
You can do it, and let there be some joy in the doing!
Much Love from Sweetness