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My story

I am not done, but life has gotten in the way of taking time out to add. I will do more, as time allows.

The more I do, the more I remember things that I forgot. There is so much to the story.... patience....:headspin:

Monday March 12, 2007

Dear "Whatever" -

I just wanted to take a minute to thank you for sharing all of this. It does provide a unique insight. I hope the young "Steves" (see thread "Looking for answers..") read your story and learn from it. I second what others have said, "Thank you.... take your time."

Best regards -

popsweetland
 

Bea Kiddo

Crusader
more to Venezuela

2002 (best year in the SO by far!!! So free!!!)

Thanks for all of your patience. And now for another installment:

I remembered a few things about Venezuela and I wanted to add to that part.

In total, I was in Vza for about 8 months, before returning to LA. I was unable to speak spanish, which is the language, but I did have a translator, which was the recruiter who came with me.

The place they gave us to stay (chosen by staff of the org) was about a 1/2 a block from the org. It was a huge 3 BR, 2BR in a high rise building. Looking back, actually the place was quite nice. I remember there were metal bars on the door. I couldnt figure out if that was to keep people in or out. The place had two elevators - one stopped at all of the even floors, and one stopped at all of the odd floors. And when one was broken, you would have to use to the stairs. Well you could get up to the basic floor number and then walk up or down one flight. I think we were on the 11th floor or so.

Eating: Oh my goodness. What we take for granted in the US!!! Venezuela has food, but not much in variety. They do have beef, pork and chicken. They do not have vegetables, except potatoes. Trying to make a salad.... well, they had some strange looking lettuce and beets and that was about it.

They did have some American "restaurants" (By the way, spending more than one dollar on food there means you are rich) such as Wendys, Burger King, TGI Fridays and Tony Romas.

Thursdays were great because down at the mall they had a movie theater and we would go there and see a movie Thurs night. It was ladies night, buy one get one free on the tickets. We loved that part. The tickets to see a movie were only like 2 dollars. And they were all American movies with spanish subtitles. So I could always find a movie to see.

And I would always find an excuse to go!! Mainly it would be my stats were up. But if they werent, either she just got a recruit, or I got a completion, or something. I think we hardly ever missed a week. :wiggle:

Being UC in an empty org, there was very little for us to do. I only suped the courseroom in late afternoon. I think later we also had a night class, which I also suped. So easy, but I still hated being a sup.

In that scorching hot weather, it was nice to have AC. We only had AC in two of our rooms, which were the C/S Office (where my computer was and where I sat to play cards all day long because I had nothing to do until course started) and the courseroom. :bored:

Anyways, on Thurs we would have lunch at Wendys (we had to take the bus there as it was about 2 miles away) and then dinner at TGI Fridays at the mall). The life we were living there was like the rich life for those people. The org wa funding us, but at the same time, the staff were not well paid, not well fed or anything. They did set up a program where each staff member could get money deducted from their paycheck and it would go towards food and they would provide meals for the staff. It was essentially a glorified version of beans and rice, from what I could tell. They invited us down to try it. And I politely refused. Looking back, I should have. I think I kinda seperated myself out from the staff.:duh:

The staff and all the Venezuelan people were so nice (It was the Columbians who were coming in and starting the violence and trying to live off the country and get free everything).

Also we were off on Sunday mornings and we would wander around to do shopping alot. They have alot of shops that we could walk to nearby to the org. They mainly were like drug stores where you could get shampoo and things.

Oh, my god, I just remembered this!! This was great. It freaked the heck out of my recruiter. Ok, I am loud when I talk sometimes, and I dont notice it. And I was speaking English, which no-one knew, ok? So we went into this one store and we were looking at different things and I saw that stuff for "cellulite" (granted, I likely didnt need it. I weighed all of 105 when I was there) that you could put on your legs and so forth. I was interested in buying it. Lucy (recruiter) came over to see what I was looking at and we were checking it out. And then I saw that it had perfume in it!! WELL, you can't have perfume in the Sea Org, as you know!:nazi: I was mad and I really wanted it!:baby1:


We wandered off, looking at other things. And later, not thinking how loud I can be somtimes, I said (really loud) "who in the heck is going to smell my butt!!!":megaphone: And Lucy (the only one who could understand me....): :omg: :splat:

I really didnt care. And so I bought it. :D

Also, we used to go clothing shopping too. Not to be too boring for guys reading this, I will try to be brief, but it must be said, ok? Well, before the violence started (which started about 4 months after we were already there), we were able to go downtown and they had some pretty cool clothing shops there (this is in Valencia). I found one store there that had alot of clothes from Tommy Hilfiger (which I like because they actually fit me properly where others do not) and I bought a ton from there. And then closer to the store there was one store called "Tijarazo" (I think, I speak spanish now, but I cant spell, ok? It means "to cut", like a discount store) and they had all kinds of cool and weird things. They had the real brands and also the take off brans. We would go in there and laugh our heads off at some names they had to trick people "All Navy", "Ann's Taylor" "Tomy Higfligler" LOL.:roflmao:

I was able to sort through it all and I got some really good stuff for nothing. I still have alot of it actually. It still fits me.

------

One thing was that when I was out there, the org had to provide the Sea Org bonus to us. That was hard for them and wiped them out for one week. See, the thing is that American money and their money do not translate exactly. Back 5 years prior, 62 Bolivars (their money denomination) was one dollar. When we were there, it was 1600 to one dollar. So you can imagine how far American money could take you. One dollar was a LOT of money. And to top it off, I was in the SO for like 15 plus years by then, so my bonus was alot. I think more than $500.00. THe whole org made like $2000.00 per week or so, so after everything went uplines, that was leaving nothing for them. And that made me feel bad.

One time, after 3 months of being there, we found that our Visas were going to expire (yes, we had Visa's. Yes, they were easy to get. All you had to do was show you had money to spend in the country and they would let you in. I think we came in with 200.00 which was plenty). Anyways, we went to get them renewed and they were telling us that we could not get them renewed. They said we had to leave the country and then come back in. That was all we could do. Then they told us that Curacao is 20 min flight and we could go there, as it is another country. So we then had to go over there. We did it on a Sunday. We flew out, had lunch on the beach there, and then returned. Man, that was so beautiful!:flirt:

It was like going to a resort!! THe only problem was that we only had $20.00 american money and the rest was Venezuelan money. They would not exchange it because of the civil unrest in the country. They flatly refused. We had a chance to change it at the bank before we left, but we thought it would be no problem, but of course it was. (Whenever you visit another country, dont expect it to be the same as the one you are from!! You can get in trouble that way!)

Anyways, we did make it back ok. And we got our Visas renewed. Yay!

Also, cigarrettes: the only brand they had besides something made locally, was Marlboro menthol. And so that was what I was smoking for a while. The whole time I was there. It took a while to get used to them, but it was alright. (I have since quit smoking - years ago).

Sometimes during the heavy protesting, the shops would all be closed and it would be hard to find food. We were not eating at home, but eating out every meal. Finally, we decided to do gracery shopping and we could eat at home. We did have a kitchen there and it worked (though it was dated). So we went to the local shopping market to get food (one thing was great is no schedule. We did whatever, whenever. No waiting till Sun, or after post to do it. Had we been around other Sea Org members, they probably would have tried to enforce schedules, but not for us!!! Really, I should have stayed there. It was pretty cool. Actually, I would love to go back and visit someday, but I think it is turning communist now, per the news I have been seeing).

Anyways, grocery shopping was a joke. I mean, the store is the same size as any you would find in the US, but my gosh!! They had nothing. You would go down one isle and they would have toilet paper, salt, mustard, cold cereal and baby food. The next isle would be exactly the same, but moved around to look different. Every isle was like that! And the veggies section was potatoes and onions. Thats it.:unsure: This was a HUGE market. We did find some eggs and bread and some meat for breakfast and lunchs.

--------

Couple of more random things here and I will let you all go for now (until my next installment...):

At one time there were two NWC recruiters there (NWC for Flag, not ours, which was uh, I guess, the main office). THis redheaded kid and another guy who was from Venezuela. The crap those two would get themselves into!!! See, they would travel all over the country doing recruit interviews. Mr redhaead did not speak a lick of spanish. But that didnt matter, I guess. Anyways, there are two ways of travelling. Both are by bus. But one type is nasty, no AC and they are very inexpensive. The other is like a coach bus and they have AC, movies, etc. Well, the cheaper ones are frequented by drug dealers and criminals. And these two recruiters knew that. One day Tyler (redhead) came and told us that his passport was stolen again (it got stolen like 6 times. The American Embassy was sick of seeing him. They didnt even need any ID, because they recognized him every time he came in to get a new one. Getting to the embassy is a two day thing too - it was not close by. that is another story). Anyways, I told them to take the coach bus to wherever they were going. THey wanted to save 50 cents and take the other one. And of course it got stopped and 1/2 the people got carted off to jail. Since Tyler did not have a passport, they were ready to take him too. EVEN THOUGH he did not speak a word of spanish and was a flaming redhead. It was so obvious he was out of place. If he went to jail, that would have been very bad for his own safety. Finally, the other recruiter with him bribed the military and they let him go.:neener: <--- (Tyler)

-------------

Ok one time there was an event. Which one would it have been? Uh, I guess Sept would have been Auditors Day. So we were told the event was up the street. One thing you need to know was that any meetings were severely looked upon by the military police and they watched for any and broke them up. (yeah, you guys got it easy in free countries. Enjoy it). :melodramatic: So we went to the place and there were alot of people already there. So we hung out for a minute or two and I was looking around. I was in my UC uniform. The people kept looking at us in fear. Then I started to notice that these were people I had never seen before. I mentioned this to my partner and she asked around. We were in the middle of a meeting planning the next protest actions of the democrats in the area!!! These were the people the president was looking for to eliminate!!! (Good hearted people, but dangerous to be around because they were against their government). Oh my goodness we ran out of there as fast as we could!!!:keelover: :outtahere:

----------------

Thats enough for now. (next time I will tell about the guy with the Clear bracelet. Long story....)
 
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Bea Kiddo

Crusader
2002 still....

I remember another time when I was suping in the courseroom in VZA at night and the ED and Senior C/S were there on course. It was about 8:00 pm and course was to go until 10:00 pm. Someone came and told me that there was a military take-over in the country and that they were going to enforce a 9:00 pm curfew. That meant they would shoot anyone still on the streets past 9:00 pm. That meant that we had to evacuate the entire org and get everyone home before then. And so I ended my courseroom early (I could get declared for that, but at least I wouldnt be killed).

--------

And another time the Senior C/S came to me and showed me an article in the news about a guy who was sitting in front of the courthouse in Caracas saying that he was going to starve himself until the President resigned or something like that. The Senior C/S told me that this guy was a Scientologist and then somehow the president found that out. It also turned out the guy had a criminal history... a very long one. So this was a potential big flap for the church. Also, he was wearing a Clear bracelet in the photo on the front page of this paper. He was not Clear and noody knew how he got the thing. So then I sent a telex to OSA in Mexico (way up North from us) about it. And they must have fixed it, cause soon afterwards the guy was doing those robotic "peace" ads the church is so known for.

-----

I remembered one more story: trying to find pinksheet paper. That took me 4 days to find. It just does not exist. They do not have pink paper in the country that I could find!!! They had TONS of goldenrod folders though. That was odd. I searched the entire town for pink paper and I finally had to settle for buying pink tissue paper on a roll and getting it cut down to size. That was all I could do. That was my first introduction to the country and its resources, actually.

-----

I really enjoyed being out there, but also at the same time, missed my family, and at the same time, while I was out there, I got my official divorce paper. That was upsetting. We were already separated for a long time, but it hit home with the letter. And the interesting thing about it was that when I got back to LA he asked me out to breakfast and we went out to eat and got along great. He later ended up going out 2D and routed out. He is/was a sweet guy and I have nothing against him.

------

Next installment will be my Comm Ev back in LA. I hardly remember it, hopefully it will come to mind soon.:eek:
 
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Bea Kiddo

Crusader
Part XIII

2002 (I guess) and maybe part of 2003 also... (gettin' foggy on time here)

Prior to leaving to the airport to go back to the US, the FBO of Vza Org asked me to bring 2,000.00 American cash and give it to Gold people to buy another e-meter for the org. So I was carrying this cash with me, plus whateve cash I had.

So my flight was cancelled on Delta due to no gas. But Continental was still flying out and they managed to get me a flight on that. Going through security, I had my emeter with me and I did not speak the language. That freaked them out when they x-rayed it! And they asked me to explain it. Luckily, I had copied info out of What is Scn on what the meter was (spanish version) and let them read that and that seemed to be enough for them. They let me through.

So, I was finally on a flight out of Venezuela. I had a long stop-over in Houston, which was also where I had to go through immigration. (not a problem as I was American with a passport and all).

So I was in Houston for many hours, and with this cash. What my point is here, is that if I wanted to blow, I could have. THats all my point is. I should have, though at the time, I was still dedicated Sea Org member, etc.

So I get back to LA and get put immediately under 24 hour watch. I was like :wtf: !!! I had plenty of oportunity to disappear, blow, whatever, and I came back by myself and they put me under watch!! Asswipes!! And I was under Comm Ev and not allowed on any of the bases. I was only allowed in the berthing building, where I was doing renovations under watch. I barely remember it.

And I remember that one of the Comm Ev members was a girl who had been flirting with my husband when we were still married and she was involved in convincing him to divorce me. The members are supposed to be unbiased. I tried to request another member and they would not approve it (they, meaning IJC). So my Comm Ev was done, blah blah blah. I remember they asked me if I wanted to be in the Sea Org, and I said yes (who knows why, cause I really didnt). Their final outcome was to kick me out of NWC and make me go to a lower org. NWC spent a while trying to trade me and finally worked out a trade with ASHO, after a while.

But I gotta back up in my story, about my step dad. So when I got back, he was basically in and out of the hospital constantly. Luckily, my mother was allowed to watch him and was not stuck on a post all day. She was able to care for him. THey put him in a home care center, where they were keeping him until he passed (he had stomach cancer).

Meanwhile, my nephew had been diagnosed with cancer as well (at the age of 2) and was treated and was in remission (he had 15% chance of living at the diagnosis. He lived to the age of 6). He came by to visit his step grandpa and he brought with him a red balloon. He visited with grandpa for a while, then brought my mom over to the side and whispered "when he dies, release this balloon to heaven so he knows where to go" :touched: . At that time I think he was 4 or 5. So sweet.

And my step dad and mom had signed "do not resuscitate" (sp?) papers. So when he passed, mom and I were both there. She went in before me to check on him and came out all freaked out and told me that his vitals were going down!! She didnt know what to do. I told her to go over and hold his hand and tell him that its ok to go (because that is what they both wanted). And he passed peacefully. Bless his heart.

He had a very funny roommate with him, who made all kinds of jokes about things and was very learned. We were telling him about Scn briefly, and about spirits and things. So when my step dad passed, this neighbor yelled out (in a friendly way) "take me with you!!". It gave us all a good laugh at a tough moment.

The nurses came rushing in with equipment to bring him back, and we stopped them, saying that was his wish.

My mom was crying hysterically, which I dont remember ever seeing before. I took her for a walk, which the nurses really did not understand why she did not want to be by his side. She then called my brother and told him she released the balloon. He knew what that meant.

I do not remember the service, though I do think that I was allowed to go to it.

Some point after my Comm Ev, there is a gap there where I was still working for NWC, but not allowed to musters and all that. So I was helping in the C/S office at ITO.

And that was when an FCB staff member went Type III and needed an Introspection RD. That story coming up next.
 
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mr_bad

Patron
He came by to visit his step grandpa and he brought with him a red balloon. He visited with grandpa for a while, then brought my mom over to the side and whispered "when he dies, release this balloon to heaven so he knows where to go" . At that time I think he was 4 or 5. So sweet.

That's one of the sweetest things I've ever heard. It brought tears to my eyes.
 

Bea Kiddo

Crusader
Time

Tarbaby politely asked me to insert time frames into my story. I have tried as best I can but my timing may be a bit off. The Portland thing was definitely in 1996 (can be confirmed with newspaper stories at the time), I definitely got off the RPF Sept 91 (concurrent with Time magazine article coming out), I was transferred to NWC in 1998 (that one I just remember), I did the BC all in 99, got RPFed again in 99. Everything after is tough for me as far as when. They are all guesses.

I know Bush would not help Venezuela, cause they asked him and he said he was going to war with Iraq right then so couldnt help Vza. So whenever we went to war with Iraq, that was the year I was in VZA.

Sorry to be cryptic. My memory is fading with old age (or could that be O/W'S?):whatever:
 

Bea Kiddo

Crusader
Part XIV

Approx 2003 (I guess)

Ok, so here I was, kicked out of my org, but not traded yet. And so I was helping out on tech lines for a bit while they figured out what to do with me. Even though I was pretty trained, I was considered pretty much a piece of trash (because I had flirted with someone on staff in VZA).

Meanwhile, my weekly paycheck was 11 dollars. And so, because I was addicted to coffee, it was a tough choice between coffee or soap to take a shower. One lucky thing I guess was me and my mom lived in the same building, so I got to see her more in 2003 until the end of my Scn adventure than I ever did in my entire life combined. For that I am grateful. But I am taking a good guess and thinking I will never see her again.

Anyways, she did help me financially a bit here. Not with money, more I think with supplies so I did not have to worry about money. It was all embarrasing to me to even be broke!!! Wasnt I a competent Sea Org member who could make anything go right? Come on!!!

So, one fine day on the tech lines I overheard about a staff member (not in my org), having gone fully insane, by their terms. He was having coughing fits, talking to himself, taking off his clothes and running around mid using the bathroom and so forth. :eek:

So they took him off the base, and then put him with to other people watching him, 24 hours a day. They had to get him off Scn property. That is always a first and urgent action, probably since other unnamed flubbed ones.

The C/S was unsure of what to do, mainly because she was not trained enough to handle the case. Well, I really had nothing to do and this, if done right, supposedly would b good for the case and would also get me into better graces. And so I decided to jump in and help out. Well, as it turns out, I was the only person on the entire HGB base qualified to audit the Introspection RD and there was not a single C/S available to C/S it. So what I did was all of the technical footwork that has to be done. (This part is a little technical, so bear with me).

So I had to go through every single pc folder particle, ethics folder, personnel folder, notes he had at home, letters, EVERYTHING he was ever involved in, to find points of introspection. This took several days to do. Meanwhile, he was out in a rented cabin in San Bernadino mountains somewhere. So I had to compile it all and propose a program and all of the steps to be done (the first couple of steps of the RD are the longest, as they are tailored to that specfic case and what caused them to introspect). I discovered a long history of a very troubled case and the guy was being audited WAY over his head on Int RD, list repairs, etc etc when all he really needed was light introductory auditing. He was plowed in by auditing, compounded with being in the Sea Org his entire life, just pressure all over the por kid (yes, he was a kid).

So then I got the folder all ready and then they wanted me to audit him. They found a C/S for the case at the PAC base (so I had to "Schlep" the folder daily to get it C/Sed and all). Somehow they got the approval for me to audit him by my org (because it had nothing to do with the org I was in). They worked out some deal, not sure what. Probably their C/S had to work for them for a while, which she used to try to do as much as she could, but now it would be forced on her. Oh well.

Meanwhile, right around then, I had made alot of friends in the HGC. THe other auditors. And they heard wind of my Comm Ev and heard some very false information about what occured and they got very mad at me, saying I was very out ethics and blah blah blah. I sorted it out. Someone was spreading lies about me though. I am noting that because I feel like alot of the justice I did get was based on lies. Their word against mine.

Oh yeah, they ordered me to some kind of sec check. That was why I did not leave right away. I couldnt until that was done. And being OT V, there was only one auditor who could do it. Well they did manage to set it up and I did get through the sec check, only to find out after that I had to get FPRD too. That pissed me off - why didnt they do with FPRD in the first place? THen I would have to re-run the same stuff? Screw you guys. THat happened a bunch of times in my life.

Anyways, back to that case: So for some reason the C/S wanted me to start with a D of P interview. I should not have done that, because it can make the person look inward, which is not what you want!!! I think the purpose of it was for he and I to meet. I knew him already. I knew him since he was born. I knew his mother well and audited her tons.

Anyways, it was night time and it was dark outside, in the middle of nowhere. The people watching him decided to leave to town (not knowing they could be gone a while), I think to get food or space, not sure. But the roads were icy and there was snow all over. I was not dressed for that. So I was stuck inside this cabin with this kids who was known for getting violent, in the middle of a place that I did not know. If he would have made a run for it, I would not have been able to find him. It was pitch black outside.

Oh well. They finally came back and it was fine.

So then I started auditing on this kid every day. I dont really remember too much about that, the sessions were always very short and we would go do walks and other things too. I would spend all day out there, and come back around dinner time to get the folder C/Sed for the next day. One thing they didnt like was that I did not know how to drive and they had to arrange a driver for me every day from security I guess. And so it was a different person every day. Sometimes they would politely complain to me about not knowing how to drive and I pointed out that I spent my time learning the tech (up to Class VI) and I thought that was a more useful way to spend my time (yeah right).

I remember that the watches were feeding him hot dogs, hamburgers, frozen dinners. They were not giving nutritious food. Well, being raised in the Sea Org, I was not a cook either, but some things I think you are naturally born with I think. And so I took them shopping at the store and bought proper food. Yum. We had a barb-q with chicken breast and roasting ears!!! (for those who dont know, thats corn on the cob). I had to take them out shopping a few times until they got the hang of it. I was making most of the meals for all of them. None of them probably ever ate well. The food at the HGB was nothing to write home about: white rice, some unflavored, pale meat, that was about it. Nasty food there.

Between sessions, when I was not there, the kid would have some wild reactions which I would find out about the next day. He didnt do much of it when I was there. Maybe I would keep him calm, or he knew I was there to help him and didnt want to hurt me, or it was because I was a female. I dont know.

For some reason the bathroom used to make him pretty crazy. He would be in the middle of doing a #2 activity (excuse me) and would run out without clothes on and start screaming stuff. Also there were a lot of ants in there and he was very compelled to kill them. He would spend hours in there killing the ants. I asked the boys to try to get him interested in other activities instead of doing that, because killing the ants seem to make him a little more unstable and was not good for him or the ants.

My time line is all messed up, but I think he was audited for about 6 weeks or so by me, about 3 - 4 sessions per day, depending on how light or deep the sessions got (one deep, or a couple light ones).

During that, I was transferred to ASHO. But they knew that I would need to complete this PC before I could go, and that was fine with everyone. However, for 2 weeks, ASHO did not get paid at all, and that did not help me at all!!! It caused me some big problems, because I needed some basic things like shower stuff and things. So I mentioned this to my mom, who immediately, for some reason, contacted the OSA person who was involved wih handling the kid (and who apparently cared about my well being, which I did not know at all). She called me and asked me what was up and told me she could arrange to FLO to pay me for 3 weeks so that I would not be concerned with money. She told me if I needed ANY help, she would help me. I was suprised because that person has way more on her lines than one small kid who was insane.... But she did help me with that, which helped alot.

Ok, so a couple more weeks and he was done with the RD. He was in a lot better shape than he had been, but he was still pretty rough around the edges, know what I mean. Nice kid. Poor kid. He thought he would be able to go back on post. Nope. One advice after that RD is the RPF, or offload. So they decided to offload him.

So he was escorted (with me and others) to the airport I believe, where he was going to be taken to his father in Florida, I think. Well, they called his father (and OT V at least, maybe OTVIII?), who could not understand how his kid could have gotten to this state. Nobody knew how to answer to him, so of course, since I was the only techie there, they wanted me to explain it. I knew him from the RPF in 91 and he remembered me well from then. So we ad a decent conversation. But how do you explain that? Up in the semi-high levels of the church, peoples cases being neglected, misprogrammed, etc? And now he's out, with a few loose screws to boot?:mad:

I did not make him that way, I did try, with what I knew, to help him the best I could. I have wondered about him since then too. How is he doing. Is he ok? Is he in need of constant care? He should be old enough to take care of himself. But he will never be allowed on a Sea Org base again. No OT levels for him this lifetime. All because of the earlier misprogramming.

I am telling all this from my view at the time. I am not saying I agree with the tech. I think that it did not work on me personally as a case, but I cant say for sure that it did not help others. I saw change in people. Maybe it was fake. I don't know. With Sea Org members, I surely wouldnt doubt it. And with the public i audited, probably there too. Because I always thought that since they have to pay so much for the auditing, they are gonna wanna change their minds fast about things to get'em done faster, you know? I dont know if they really were fully in session. Wouldnt they always be worried about how much it costs them to have that thought, or that Comm lag?:unsure: You know?
 

Bea Kiddo

Crusader
Anybody still interested in me continuing and completing my story? Just checking. I am slowly but surely adding installments to it...:) :) :)
 

Dulloldfart

Squirrel Extraordinaire
But he will never be allowed on a Sea Org base again. No OT levels for him this lifetime.

The FZ equivalent of OT Levels are available in many places other than an SO base, thank goodness.

I am enjoying your story, whatever. I was in ITO at some of the times you were involved with ITO/HGB, although I left in 1996, and have been trying to figure out who you are. Obviously you are choosing not to disclose that here, but it surely can't be that hard for OSA to figure out from your data (if anyone there cares).

Paul
 

mr_bad

Patron
I'll keep reading, if you keep writing.

I'm glad you made it out. Thank you for telling your story.

You're bringing back a lot of memories. I witnessed many of the kinds of things you talk about.

Yes, there were people who went cookoo-for-coco-puffs--not that people don't go cookoo-for-coco-puffs in the "wog world," but it's happens often enough in Scientology to where you can actually watch people as it's happening--you see them in the weeks leading up to their full blown nuclear meltdown--it's sad and scary.

Scientology is supposed to be about "mental health." L. Ron wrote a book on "Mental Health," yet there are people going completely mentally insane in the Sea Org.........Can you say, "OUT POINT!!??"

Lisa McPherson is another example of someone in Scientology who completely lost her mind. She's died on her Introspection Rundown. 99% of the Scientologists out there, don't know her full story.

Sorry, I don't mean to take this thread of course. Please keep telling your story.

mb
 

Lulu Belle

Moonbat
Whatever, I absolutely want you to continue telling your story. It brings back a lot of memories for me.

Something I want to ask or bring up. Regarding Type IIIs.

There were a lot of them when I was on staff. I mean a lot. Both public and staff. Seems like it really started in the mid 80s, and just kind of snowballed.

Did anyone else get that impression? Does anyone have any ideas as to why? Does the same percentage exist in the normal population but they just get handled differently than how Scientology handles them?

Would like any ideas or input.
 

Alan

Gold Meritorious Patron
The C/S was unsure of what to do, mainly because she was not trained enough to handle the case. Well, I really had nothing to do and this, if done right, supposedly would b good for the case and would also get me into better graces. And so I decided to jump in and help out. Well, as it turns out, I was the only person on the entire HGB base qualified to audit the Introspection RD and there was not a single C/S available to C/S it. So what I did was all of the technical footwork that has to be done. (This part is a little technical, so bear with me).

So I had to go through every single pc folder particle, ethics folder, personnel folder, notes he had at home, letters, EVERYTHING he was ever involved in, to find points of introspection. This took several days to do. Meanwhile, he was out in a rented cabin in San Bernadino mountains somewhere. So I had to compile it all and propose a program and all of the steps to be done (the first couple of steps of the RD are the longest, as they are tailored to that specfic case and what caused them to introspect). I discovered a long history of a very troubled case and the guy was being audited WAY over his head on Int RD, list repairs, etc etc when all he really needed was light introductory auditing. He was plowed in by auditing, compounded with being in the Sea Org his entire life, just pressure all over the poor kid (yes, he was a kid).

I hate to say this, but the idea that anyone will find what is out on a case by folder error summaries is ludicrous. IT WILL NOT BE THERE....it was missed.

What is out is right in front of you.

To undo it requires observing what is in front of you.

The most basic Case Advice question from which ALL C/Sing stems from is:

"What is he/she sitting in?"

I have taken completely screaming type III cases and cooled them down very quickly.

Sometimes they can't talk, or they are unconcious. Just put the cans in their hands and assess the case, not the being.

You will be amazed at what reads......just indicate.

I used to handle 10 to 15 people a day in this state.

That is how correction lists came into being. But what is not on a correction list is the processors observation and connection to the pc.....

I did not make him that way, I did try, with what I knew, to help him the best I could. I have wondered about him since then too. How is he doing. Is he ok? Is he in need of constant care? He should be old enough to take care of himself. But he will never be allowed on a Sea Org base again. No OT levels for him this lifetime. All because of the earlier misprogramming.

I'm sorry I do not know of any true OT Levels, just common sense basics.

I am telling all this from my view at the time. I am not saying I agree with the tech. I think that it did not work on me personally as a case, but I cant say for sure that it did not help others. I saw change in people. Maybe it was fake. I don't know. With Sea Org members, I surely wouldnt doubt it. And with the public i audited, probably there too. Because I always thought that since they have to pay so much for the auditing, they are gonna wanna change their minds fast about things to get'em done faster, you know? I dont know if they really were fully in session. Wouldnt they always be worried about how much it costs them to have that thought, or that Comm lag?:unsure:

It is a natural cycle to grow.....as the charge gets handled and the knowledge restores, the persons cause level increases......and the ability to make money and occupy more lucrative positions in life happen.

A good, deep life repair produces just that. As well as cleans up all the self-listing and introspection points.

But the tech long ago lost these simple basics.

Today you have back to front people misapplying back to front tech producing a back to front end product....that of: Fully certified and validated SPs. :duh:

Alan
 
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everfree

Patron Meritorious
This is my first post on this board, though I've been lurking for a few weeks. I just wanted to say that I've enjoyed reading your story immensely, Whatever.

>But I am taking a good guess and thinking I will never see her again.

Things change in life; there was probably a time when you wouldn't have dreamed that you would be out of the Sea Org amongst the wogs and degraded being ex-SO telling your story, so don't forget things always change.
 

everfree

Patron Meritorious
>Did anyone else get that impression? Does anyone have any ideas as to why? Does the same percentage exist in the normal population but they just get handled differently than how Scientology handles them?

Yes, I have often felt the same way - it seems like "type III" or psychotic breaks are far more common inside CofS than out. Never outside the church have I been part of a group where someone disappears then someone whispers to you "did you hear Joe Blow went crazy and is under iso?" then a few months later hear about yet another person, "oh George isn't available because he's on baby watch with a Type III, Mary Sue's husband. Very sad..."

It just doesn't happen outside.

I think it's because there is always so much PRESSURE in CofS. Pressure to get one's stats up, pressure to give more money, spend more time on post, keep the psychs from winning, pressure that if you don't perform it is because you are unethical or degraded and someone is going to decide that you are eeeeevil and need to be removed...
 

Bea Kiddo

Crusader
Part XV

So, guys, we are coming to the end of the begining here. The story of getting out is ALMOST over!! Whew. I think I may need to copy Mate and do reflections, as there is always more to it, that one remembers after the fact. But before all that, I shall continue with the actual installments of the story.

So I completed auditing that pc on the Introspection RD, and I reported for dtuy at ASHO. They decided to post me as a C/S. The other C/S was Bruce Gaines, nice guy for the most part, but every once in a while he could get really angry and it would always make me laugh. I guess he just never intimidated me. He was too nice when he was nice to be really angry when he was angry. Oh well.

So I had to re-do my metering video again, I think. That took all of a lunch time to complete, then I was allowed onto post. I was previous to GAT a Class V Grad C/S, but was not Class VI C/S (never completed the internship for it) and so they were allowing me to C/S as a Grad V C/S, but they wanted me to do my Class VI Intership, which I was doing basically concurrently with my post.

Ok so there seemed to be technical changes going on. Maybe that is my SP generality view coming out, who knows. And I am going to mention some of it here. I have not seen any of this aspect of things posted anywhere and this is the part that really pushed me over the edge. Made me think WTF?, you know?

(Through all this, I was doing daily C/Sing, nothing much to comment on that part, for real).

The main thing here is on the State of Clear. And I feel there is a chapter worth mentioning on this. Because I was involved in the OT Elig line (getting people approved to get onto their OT Levels at AOLA, across the street from ASHO), I had to deal with verifying the State of Clear. So I was trained in doing interviews (I forgot the name of them, C/S 3 or something like that) on people who's Clear Cog was not clearly stated, to see if they would give it straight out. A lot of times this interviews would have leading questions and that was how I was trained in doing them. The areas of earlier sessions would be refered to and reread to the PC, to get him or her to expand or clarify what was meant. Sometimes these interviews would go on for several hours. Come on guys, if they were Clear, I think it would come up a little easier than that! The reason these interviews were allowed/started is from an IG Network Bull about Clears and it is one of the targets on the program to so these interviews on the "Clears" where the cog is not clearly stated. So for a year I was involved in doing and/or C/Sing these interviews.

Additionally, another program step (from the same IG people) was to get all the folders programmed of all of the Clears who had not moved forward. There were 4 categories of stalled Clears. Well, not all stalled, as the first was those onlines, second is those offlines, but recently around doing services, those who are long gone, recovery jobs and the last, those who are really not qualified for auditing and should not have been audited (like criminal, illegal pc's, things like that, from early years and such).

So I had to spend like a week in archives sorting through all of these folders and cases, categorizing all of them, determining if they had Clear evidence, when they were on lines, etc. So I made a huge list of all of the categorizing that was done, and where each one was at. And there were alot of names on the list that we did not have the folders for anymore, and those were being gotten from wherever they were transferred to.

Anyway, this was a huge amount of hours and work, but to me it felt like paper shoving and cookie cutting!

Now I know the Senior C/S AO (Griffie Blythe) got in trouble earlier about cookie cutter programs, but it was still going on, its just that they wanted it done their way.

Anyways, after that paperwork was done, they wanted me to start programming the folders. In order to get it all done by the deadline, I would have to program like 8 - 10 per day. LRH says programming a folder can take hours. Besides doing my post, I had to do this. You do the math. And big ethics if it weren't done.

Meanwhile, in the middle of all this, some kid at Flag flaps somehow because he was a past life Clear, only gave a Clear cog or something. So then they decided just because someone gave the Clear Cog, that does not mean that they are Clear. Evidence needs to be proven. Kinda like I guess more to the person past life, getting the name, folders, confirming hours of auditing and so forth. So then we had to go through everyone's CLear thing AGAIN and all these people we thought were Clear really weren't (to tell you the truth, I didnt understand what the heck that was all about).

I remember thinking "Make up your fricken MIND!!!" I really got crazy about how the tech seemed to change so much.

And then poor Bruce was C/Sing a girl who was going onto the OT Levels. She was all good to go, and the folder came back from RTC with a note "where is the Clear evidence?". To me, that sounds like a perfectly normal question. THat is something that must be provided and tabbed for anyone to get onto the OT Levels. Ok, so Bruce took this to mean that she was not Clear. So he decided to let her know that she is not CLear and will need to be audited to Clear before embarking onto the OT Levels. Well, little did he know this girl was prone to violence (hah, a Clear, right?). Well, she was given her non-Clear info and blew up!! She got violent and went out of the room, out of the building, storming down the street towards her car, maybe running out of Scn. But they caught up with her, and with alot of physical and verbal persuasion, they got her back into the org, where the Senior C/S talked to her for a while. So Bruce got in big trouble for that, big org flap (because the pc thought that the not Clear thing was from RTC so they were on the lines, and not happy about that too!). So Bruce and others were getting Comm Ev'ed. I offered to help Bruce, but he just kept crying and banging on the folder trying to figure out what to do. I can't remember how it finally got resolved, but I know they did decide that she was Clear... pulled the evidence out of someone's .... excuse me. That was just how things seemed to get done. It's political. So she went onto her OT Levels and when she saw some of that information, same reactions in the OT courserooms - having violent, screaming, crying, wanting out, etc. I don't think her case was handled right....

Sorry for those who may not understand the technical side of this, but I feel this part is important to why I got out. Now, if someone from inside were to tell you why I got out, it would be a totally different story. But the motivations behind my actions are covered here. No, they did not make me do anything (they say, but check out the technical stuff and how we had to do it. That is bull and not LRH, if LRH is right anyways, which I don't even know now), and I did my own thing to get myself in trouble. I did it to get out of there. I did not want to blow, I figured I would go the slow way out, I guess. I don't know. Soon that part will come up. And what I did was considered very bad there. When I bring it up. please don't judge. Well, you can I guess. Go ahead. But I had to get out of there. And I think the way I did it was pretty smooth.

And that part, for another day. Until then, peace out.:eyeroll: :eyeroll: :eyeroll:
 
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