You actually believe this shit? (Not trying to start a fight, just curious)
I find I am getting more tolerant of the viewpoint of others, especially when they seem “batshit crazy”. The point is that I had read stuff by Captain Bill before I had started OTIII and it was totally outside my reality – unreal – and apparently paranoid ravings. Even our own DOF has posted stuff which was well over-the-top – unreal - totally what-the-fuck.
http://www.freewebs.com/paulsr3x/TelepathicMetering.htm
And now, having started on solo NOTs, I find myself applying a bit of info from the Excalibur pack and having it work. This is a sobering feeling. It’s like “Well you arrogant prick, somebody else knows more than you AGAIN. When are you going to realise you don’t know everything and just because stuff is outside your pathetic reality level doesn’t mean to say it is wrong.”
So I find myself strangely drawn to this “batshit crazy” stuff, not because of belief, but because (unfortunately) it seems to have some workability to it. Now it is obviously true that this stuff is entirely subjective. Is it delusional or factual? My only take on that is – well it makes me feel “better” session by session, so for me it is real to that extent.
It has always been true that the next step on the Bridge is the one that is the most real for the person. Going too many steps ahead is problematic. Try pulling O/Ws from someone who won’t even communicate with you and that is difficult. So I totally get it when somebody who hasn’t even done the Grades reads OTIII and says its nuts. Hell, even R6EW is a bizarre process – but it’s great fun when you get started on it and run it. It’s not something you can
intellectually understand by just reading about it.
Solo auditing is in any case difficult for the unprepared because it is done “telepathically”. What you think is important. Imagine auditing a pc and you start the session with the R-factor “Well I know you aren’t really there, you are just a figment of my imagination, but I am going to do this process anyway, even though I know it can’t possibly work because it’s so bloody unbelievable.” Obviously you wouldn’t have much success. Well people evidently try to run OT levels in this frame of mind and then wonder why they don’t succeed!
To answer your original question - do I actually believe in this shit. Unfortunately yes. I’m a professional engineer. When you are told to do this that and the other in order to achieve result X, and you follow the steps and achieve the result X, you then “believe”. It is as simple as that. (In this case the result X is a sub-product – a milestone – not some complete EP like Cleared Theta Clear.)