anonmom
Patron with Honors
I was involved in scientology for about 4 years over 20 years ago. The last year I was in the Sea Org in LA before I escaped. This is based on my own writings from about a year after I left. The SO is a very intense place and I am still haunted by many bad memories.
I want to write about the children raised in scientology, especially the Sea Org when I was there. First some background. You probably know this stuff all too well. In scientology, children fall under the 2nd dynamic. Wogs (non-scientologists) operate almost entirely in the 1st and 2nd dynamics. The 1st dynamic is the urge toward survival as self. The 2nd dynamic is the urge to survive through sex and children. But there are 6 other dynamics and scientologists believe they are the only ones who can operate in them effectively. In fact, the first 2 are considered lower which causes a person to neglect themselves, their marriage and of course, their children in favor of forwarding the goals of scientology.
In my opinion, it is horrible that this supposed church thinks that children and just pooled in with sex and neatly categorized and numbered, but that is exactly what it does. According to L Ron Hubbard, children aren’t really children. Everyone is a thetan (spirit) living in a body. We all have many, many past lives. So children are just thetans which are very old beings currently living in young bodies. Therefore, there is no reason to treat children different than adults, even where punishment is concerned. Scientology is very big on controlling every aspect of your life and punishing you when you don’t have stellar achievements, no matter what your age.
In the fall of 1986, an “executive directive” was written which banned people from having children in the Sea Org. It said that if you had a baby, you would be transferred out of the SO to a scientology organization somewhere to raise your child. After 6 years if your child wanted to join the SO, he or she could sign a billion year Sea Org contract and the family could come back. Upon return, the child is then sent to the Cadet Org which is the children’s SO. This was located one block south of the big blue complex in LA where I worked. All the children in the Cadet Org were Sea Org members and under contract just like everyone else.
There were times when a parent would ask me to pick up their kid for them after work. We were off at midnight at the earliest, so I went to the Cadet Org very late. First you have to walk through a playground, surrounded by a huge cyclone fence, to get inside. The ground was all cement and there were no toys to be seen. Inside the place was smelly and as bare as a prison. All the children were asleep on the hard floor in a large room under very bright lights. Some kids had little cots, but most slept just on a little blanket. No pillows, no carpet, just a blanket. I told the nanny the name of the little boy I came to pick up and she had a hard time telling which kid was which. I wondered why she didn’t seem to know the kids that she was supposed to be watching. She finally found the boy I came for who said that was his name and I took him to his mom. I just couldn’t believe that those children were sleeping on the floor as every building I saw in the SO was infested with cockroaches. Maybe that is why the lights were blaring.
Once, I accidentally came across a report by a mother on the horrible condition of the cafeteria in the Cadet Org. Children were not allowed in the cafeteria where the adults ate, so the parents had dinner with them in the Cadet Org, if they could get away from work for more than a quick bite. This mother reported that the eating conditions were disgusting and there was yogurt spilled all over floor amongst other things. She said it was in such a bad state many times. I remember thinking that I was not surprised at all by her complaints. It only confirmed what I had already seen myself.
Upper management was aware of the Cadet Org’s poor condition. They placated parents by telling them that they were looking for a nice ranch out in the country for the kids with horses and all that PR crap. Then the SO parents would be allowed one full day off a week to go and visit their children. But this would probably only happen if their “stats” where up and only then if they weren’t in a lower condition or had to perform additional tasks such as being a member of a court of ethics, a board of review or a committee of evidence. Basically, it is selfish to put your kids or yourself or your spouse before scientology which is seen as the greater good. There are, after all, 6 higher dynamics.
The family living conditions were very inadequate in the SO. All of the living quarters for married couples that I saw were just one small room, usually sharing a bathroom. After all, the big blue building used to be a hospital. Children live with the parents in this small room with no privacy whatsoever. At first, I just couldn’t figure out why parents put up with this. I found out they had no other choice. One father told me that they just “make it go right” (gotta love that catch-all phrase!) and sometimes the kids have sleepovers with other kids so they can have some couple time alone.
The conditions under which women gave birth back then were no better. I heard moms brag that they worked right up to when the baby was born. One mom said that she had her baby right in her room with no doctor or anything. But she did have an OT with her. Scientologists don’t believe in using any kinds of drugs. They avoid hospitals and wog doctors. There were scientology doctors, but the SO did not pay for any medical or dental bills. But the parents couldn’t afford to pay, an SO member only made $30.00 a week back then. I doubt it’s much higher now.
While in the SO, I befriended a boy who seemed kind of lost. I knew him through friends where he worked, which was a different office than mine. He joined the SO with his parent’s permission at the age of 14. He worked hard, just like the rest of us. I asked him if he went to school. He said “no”, but he tried to keep it quiet so that management wouldn’t find out and make him go. But I knew it was no secret, there really are no secrets in scientology. Upper management did like to train kids from the Cadet Org to become what is called Commodore’s Messengers. They were some of the nastiest people that I have ever met. They would seek out ways to really abuse people verbally, mentally, emotionally and even physically, all in the name of “keeping scientology working”. They were always yelling and screaming at people and calling them names. We were all in total fear of them as they ranked higher than us though most looked to me to be younger than 18. They had, what was called, “ethics presence”. Looking back, what else could they know? They were trained to act that way and were being manipulated just like the rest of us.
One day a messenger took that 14 year old boy in a room alone and proudly told him that he was going to become a Commodore’s Messenger. He told him like it was the biggest and best thing that could ever happen to him. He was mortified. He told the messenger that his parents were going to join the SO in Florida and he wanted to transfer to there to be with them. The messenger was furious and blasted his wrath on him yelling and belittling him. Said that his gross out-ethics was going to get handled, but he still refused to join. I saw him afterwards and he was very shaken and kind of hysterical. He told me the whole story and asked me in tears if I thought he was out-ethics because he wanted to work in the SO in Florida with his parents rather than join the messengers. I told him that I didn’t think that he was out-ethics. I didn’t know how to help him; I had people yelling at me all the time too. Two weeks later, I ran away. I still think about the fate of that kid from over 20 years ago. I hope he and his family got out of that cult and lives freely as I do now.
As for one girl messenger who used to yell and scream at me and many others, she asked me to help her during study time one day. She needed me to coach her while she method 9ed something Hubbard wrote (it was ALWAYS something Hubbard wrote). With m9 you have to read something out loud flawlessly before you can pass. As she tried I was shocked to discover that she couldn’t read the simplest of words. Basically, she was almost completely illiterate. She seemed very ashamed and I found myself feeling sorry for her. Scientology is all about reading, since Hubbard was a writer. But they didn’t care enough to give this girl a basic education and she was probably raised in this supposed church most or all of her life. She had to somehow learn to read all on her own. What kind of a chance do you have with a life like that? My heart goes out to people like her who finally leave for whatever reason and somehow make it when they were so used by scientology and left with nothing.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. I have many stories of my scientology experiences as do so many others. It really feels good to write it down and put it up on the internet.
I want to write about the children raised in scientology, especially the Sea Org when I was there. First some background. You probably know this stuff all too well. In scientology, children fall under the 2nd dynamic. Wogs (non-scientologists) operate almost entirely in the 1st and 2nd dynamics. The 1st dynamic is the urge toward survival as self. The 2nd dynamic is the urge to survive through sex and children. But there are 6 other dynamics and scientologists believe they are the only ones who can operate in them effectively. In fact, the first 2 are considered lower which causes a person to neglect themselves, their marriage and of course, their children in favor of forwarding the goals of scientology.
In my opinion, it is horrible that this supposed church thinks that children and just pooled in with sex and neatly categorized and numbered, but that is exactly what it does. According to L Ron Hubbard, children aren’t really children. Everyone is a thetan (spirit) living in a body. We all have many, many past lives. So children are just thetans which are very old beings currently living in young bodies. Therefore, there is no reason to treat children different than adults, even where punishment is concerned. Scientology is very big on controlling every aspect of your life and punishing you when you don’t have stellar achievements, no matter what your age.
In the fall of 1986, an “executive directive” was written which banned people from having children in the Sea Org. It said that if you had a baby, you would be transferred out of the SO to a scientology organization somewhere to raise your child. After 6 years if your child wanted to join the SO, he or she could sign a billion year Sea Org contract and the family could come back. Upon return, the child is then sent to the Cadet Org which is the children’s SO. This was located one block south of the big blue complex in LA where I worked. All the children in the Cadet Org were Sea Org members and under contract just like everyone else.
There were times when a parent would ask me to pick up their kid for them after work. We were off at midnight at the earliest, so I went to the Cadet Org very late. First you have to walk through a playground, surrounded by a huge cyclone fence, to get inside. The ground was all cement and there were no toys to be seen. Inside the place was smelly and as bare as a prison. All the children were asleep on the hard floor in a large room under very bright lights. Some kids had little cots, but most slept just on a little blanket. No pillows, no carpet, just a blanket. I told the nanny the name of the little boy I came to pick up and she had a hard time telling which kid was which. I wondered why she didn’t seem to know the kids that she was supposed to be watching. She finally found the boy I came for who said that was his name and I took him to his mom. I just couldn’t believe that those children were sleeping on the floor as every building I saw in the SO was infested with cockroaches. Maybe that is why the lights were blaring.
Once, I accidentally came across a report by a mother on the horrible condition of the cafeteria in the Cadet Org. Children were not allowed in the cafeteria where the adults ate, so the parents had dinner with them in the Cadet Org, if they could get away from work for more than a quick bite. This mother reported that the eating conditions were disgusting and there was yogurt spilled all over floor amongst other things. She said it was in such a bad state many times. I remember thinking that I was not surprised at all by her complaints. It only confirmed what I had already seen myself.
Upper management was aware of the Cadet Org’s poor condition. They placated parents by telling them that they were looking for a nice ranch out in the country for the kids with horses and all that PR crap. Then the SO parents would be allowed one full day off a week to go and visit their children. But this would probably only happen if their “stats” where up and only then if they weren’t in a lower condition or had to perform additional tasks such as being a member of a court of ethics, a board of review or a committee of evidence. Basically, it is selfish to put your kids or yourself or your spouse before scientology which is seen as the greater good. There are, after all, 6 higher dynamics.
The family living conditions were very inadequate in the SO. All of the living quarters for married couples that I saw were just one small room, usually sharing a bathroom. After all, the big blue building used to be a hospital. Children live with the parents in this small room with no privacy whatsoever. At first, I just couldn’t figure out why parents put up with this. I found out they had no other choice. One father told me that they just “make it go right” (gotta love that catch-all phrase!) and sometimes the kids have sleepovers with other kids so they can have some couple time alone.
The conditions under which women gave birth back then were no better. I heard moms brag that they worked right up to when the baby was born. One mom said that she had her baby right in her room with no doctor or anything. But she did have an OT with her. Scientologists don’t believe in using any kinds of drugs. They avoid hospitals and wog doctors. There were scientology doctors, but the SO did not pay for any medical or dental bills. But the parents couldn’t afford to pay, an SO member only made $30.00 a week back then. I doubt it’s much higher now.
While in the SO, I befriended a boy who seemed kind of lost. I knew him through friends where he worked, which was a different office than mine. He joined the SO with his parent’s permission at the age of 14. He worked hard, just like the rest of us. I asked him if he went to school. He said “no”, but he tried to keep it quiet so that management wouldn’t find out and make him go. But I knew it was no secret, there really are no secrets in scientology. Upper management did like to train kids from the Cadet Org to become what is called Commodore’s Messengers. They were some of the nastiest people that I have ever met. They would seek out ways to really abuse people verbally, mentally, emotionally and even physically, all in the name of “keeping scientology working”. They were always yelling and screaming at people and calling them names. We were all in total fear of them as they ranked higher than us though most looked to me to be younger than 18. They had, what was called, “ethics presence”. Looking back, what else could they know? They were trained to act that way and were being manipulated just like the rest of us.
One day a messenger took that 14 year old boy in a room alone and proudly told him that he was going to become a Commodore’s Messenger. He told him like it was the biggest and best thing that could ever happen to him. He was mortified. He told the messenger that his parents were going to join the SO in Florida and he wanted to transfer to there to be with them. The messenger was furious and blasted his wrath on him yelling and belittling him. Said that his gross out-ethics was going to get handled, but he still refused to join. I saw him afterwards and he was very shaken and kind of hysterical. He told me the whole story and asked me in tears if I thought he was out-ethics because he wanted to work in the SO in Florida with his parents rather than join the messengers. I told him that I didn’t think that he was out-ethics. I didn’t know how to help him; I had people yelling at me all the time too. Two weeks later, I ran away. I still think about the fate of that kid from over 20 years ago. I hope he and his family got out of that cult and lives freely as I do now.
As for one girl messenger who used to yell and scream at me and many others, she asked me to help her during study time one day. She needed me to coach her while she method 9ed something Hubbard wrote (it was ALWAYS something Hubbard wrote). With m9 you have to read something out loud flawlessly before you can pass. As she tried I was shocked to discover that she couldn’t read the simplest of words. Basically, she was almost completely illiterate. She seemed very ashamed and I found myself feeling sorry for her. Scientology is all about reading, since Hubbard was a writer. But they didn’t care enough to give this girl a basic education and she was probably raised in this supposed church most or all of her life. She had to somehow learn to read all on her own. What kind of a chance do you have with a life like that? My heart goes out to people like her who finally leave for whatever reason and somehow make it when they were so used by scientology and left with nothing.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. I have many stories of my scientology experiences as do so many others. It really feels good to write it down and put it up on the internet.