Scared

Nicole

Silver Meritorious Patron
Well - now I'm getting interested - very interested indeed.
Especially this: "...,since this person cannot have told the truth." May you please PM me why you are so sure that this person is not telling the truth.

And please tell me in detail about what exactly he is not telling the truth.

Thank you Nicole
Love
Markus


Done! :)
 

Nicole

Silver Meritorious Patron
Are you suggesting that an OSA spy was spied on by an OSA spy while spying on Anons or had you blown by that point of time yet and the OSA spy was spying on you as ex-OSA spy, trying to 3P you? I really don't understand your story because there seem to be contradictions and/or omissions and once they are pointed out there's always another bunny hopping out of the top hat.

I was an OSA spy from June until November last year. I got in contact with that person Februar/march this year. I blowed at this point of time. Just ask Wilfried Handl about this person.

The other things you asked, I didn't understand, please explain....
 

morizo

Patron
I was an OSA spy from June until November last year. I got in contact with that person Februar/march this year. I blowed at this point of time. Just ask Wilfried Handl about this person.

The other things you asked, I didn't understand, please explain....

I asked :

One more thing: You as OSA were stalking the german wwp mod until he urgently asked you to leave the board and to never contact him anymore, right? We had some wwp links about it here.

Now you write that the exact same thing you did to the German wwp mod has happened to you. You must be kidding.

Were you doing it first to Rheini and the other guy who can't be trusted (do you mean OSA right?) afterwards to you or had he done it first to you and you then did it to Rheini? :confused2:
 

Nicole

Silver Meritorious Patron
Timetable

I asked :

February/March 2010
Last year in February/March I got Fair Gamed by OSA. In March I contacted the Düsseldorf Anon Board, because I was helpless and didn't know what to do anymore. Rheinländer helped me in the begining (I didn't know, that he was mod at WWP and I didn't read WWP before)

May/June 2010
and than ca. May last year he changed his behaviour. At this point of time I didn't understand why.

June/November 2010
In June contacted me OSA and I was confused because of this OSA BS in the past and I let them use me! This was a big mistake. But I didn't give lots of personal informations to OSA. Rheinländers name they had before,... I trolled for OSA, I made this!



I guess now that Rheinländer changed his behaviour, because he thought I was OSA, because someone told him something (what I don't know) and Anons had the feeling I observed them, what I never did. :unsure: But this has Rheinländer to explain. I can tell what I know, not more.


March 2011
Maybe I was stupid not to hear my alarms bells as this man contact me this year... :duh: BTW MrNobody warned me too, but I didn't listen...:duh::duh::duh:



Edit:

I wasn't in contact with Scientologist from the Düsseldorf Org not in the 90ths and not now. Never! I didn't get there services etc. But people from the Düsseldorf Org was involved in the Fair Game against me. The OSA Op in the 90ths was planed from a higher OSA Member. I was in contact with that person together with my father in the 90ths. My contact happen in a private way. It was like a father, friend of father, daughter conversation. Because of my "poltical career" that was planed I "should keep a clean sheet". For deeper informations about me read "It's time to tell my story".
 
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Royal Prince Xenu

Trust the Psi Corps.
Nicole has come out and admitted that she was stuck been a rock (OSA) and a hard place (reality). If she weren't caught up in that position in the first place, she never would have named the thread "Scared".

Obviously she cannot apologise in a way that will suit everybody (as we are all different and people have been offended by different parts of various posts).

In the spirit of being nice to each other, how about people send discreet PMs on the specific issue of insult and accept the relevant apology?

I still maintain that dirty laundry belongs in the PM section.
 

Nicole

Silver Meritorious Patron
Nicole has come out and admitted that she was stuck been a rock (OSA) and a hard place (reality). If she weren't caught up in that position in the first place, she never would have named the thread "Scared".

Obviously she cannot apologise in a way that will suit everybody (as we are all different and people have been offended by different parts of various posts).

In the spirit of being nice to each other, how about people send discreet PMs on the specific issue of insult and accept the relevant apology?

I still maintain that dirty laundry belongs in the PM section.

To put this in a PM section won't be good in my situation. It would came to new distrust against my person... But I wish an objective discussion.

In other situations I agree, this should be made in the PM section. :)
 

Nicole

Silver Meritorious Patron
Just want to give my scared thread something postive and a little update...

I am not scared anymore. I was so much scared because of this one person that wanted to destroy my life. That person that recorded everything I (and other critics) said and want to send personal things of mine to my old employee, where I never was OSA or I have done anything for Scientology.

The most important thing is, that I know what I did. All humans are making mistakes or do the wrong things and we have to learn from our mistakes. Important is also that I have to learn, that it is not important what other people think about me. Should they think what they want. I am what I am and I did what I did. ...and because of the things I have done, I have seen, I am what I am now.

I haven't found my peace with Scientology. I am still very angry. That Cult took my childhood away, my father and now parts of my family. This Cult made me to an evil person. I am not that person, that the Cult wanted to make out of me. That was never me. At the moment I am learning who I am and what I want. I have lots to learn, but imo I am on the right way, because it is my way.

I hope one day this evil Cult will get destroyed and I hope one day I am able to find peace with my life in Scientology and this evil Cult.
 

DagwoodGum

Squirreling Dervish
In the past I looked at me and I saw that I am scared, it is a deep fear.

I am scared of "Wogs", I am scared of "SPs" and I am scared of Anons. I try to control this fear. I know it is "implant" from Co$ to control me.

It makes me unhappy. :bigcry:

Sometimes I get panic :nervous: and than I react very angry without a big reason.

Sometimes I can control this fear and sometimes not.

eg I have contact to "Non Scientologist", Anons and people here on ESMB who I can trust, but regulary I can't trust. Sometimes I ask the people I trust what to do in special situations, but I can't ask allways people what to do.

My question is, what can I do to control this fear? Has someone here the same problem?:unsure:
Forget the tone scale. sometimes fear is the normal, most natural reaction to dangerous circumstances. It is not a matter of being without fear that demonstrates bravery, it's more about working for your survival while embracing whatever fear is involved. In essence fear is more easily dealt with when it's viewed as a normal phenomenon than being something that must be suppressed because it can't be suppressed as it is part of your instinctive package that you should value. Don't waste your time feeling bad about having normal human feelings which can be very appropriate and save your butt from danger. I wish you the best and hope that all works out well for you.
 

Royal Prince Xenu

Trust the Psi Corps.
Forget the tone scale. sometimes fear is the normal, most natural reaction to dangerous circumstances. It is not a matter of being without fear that demonstrates bravery, it's more about working for your survival while embracing whatever fear is involved. In essence fear is more easily dealt with when it's viewed as a normal phenomenon than being something that must be suppressed because it can't be suppressed as it is part of your instinctive package that you should value. Don't waste your time feeling bad about having normal human feelings which can be very appropriate and save your butt from danger. I wish you the best and hope that all works out well for you.

Very true. Courage or bravery is proceeding despite fear. He who rushes into a similar situation without any fear is usually a complete idiot.
 

Ogsonofgroo

Crusader
June 1st~
In the past I looked at me and I saw that I am scared, it is a deep fear.

I am scared of "Wogs", I am scared of "SPs" and I am scared of Anons. I try to control this fear. I know it is "implant" from Co$ to control me.

It makes me unhappy. :bigcry:

Sometimes I get panic :nervous: and than I react very angry without a big reason.

Sometimes I can control this fear and sometimes not.

eg I have contact to "Non Scientologist", Anons and people here on ESMB who I can trust, but regulary I can't trust. Sometimes I ask the people I trust what to do in special situations, but I can't ask allways people what to do.

My question is, what can I do to control this fear? Has someone here the same problem?:unsure:

Just a curious question because I can't find the 'Nicole's admissions' post (a recent one if I recall), was this posted while you (Nicole) were doing your 'OSA spy-thingy' thing? Or after?

Just my thought, but its going to take a while before you are trusted around here by anyone of my Woggy ilk, at least for anything personal and in depth.

:cheers:
 

Nicole

Silver Meritorious Patron
June 1st~

Just a curious question because I can't find the 'Nicole's admissions' post (a recent one if I recall), was this posted while you (Nicole) were doing your 'OSA spy-thingy' thing? Or after?
It was after. Here I wrote a "timeline", maybe this will help you. The thread (post) you imo meant was this. There I changed my name from sauerlaenderin into Nicole.


Just my thought, but its going to take a while before you are trusted around here by anyone of my Woggy ilk, at least for anything personal and in depth.

:cheers:
I know. :)
 
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