Lana M. | January 21, 2012 at 10:04 pm |
Thanks Marty,
I feel that former Int base staff members have had the biggest leap to make on the subject of denial. We were card-carrying Miscavige devotees — and I remember clearly a point in time when I would havevirtually laid my life on the line for DM, in an effort to placate him, in an effort to propitiate and in an effort to be (what seemed to be) on the “right team”.
A brief overview of just some of the crazy things I did as an Int base staff member which I denied, along with many others, shows the level that this goes to. This is not in any particular order.
* I followed orders and photocopied Lyman Spurlock’s head on orders of COB to denigrate and belittle Lyman, a veteran Sea Org member (and corporate Board member of RTC).
* I wordcleared Sinar Parmen on KSW 1, Method 9, along with the rest of the Int base ordered to do the same, at 11.30pm at night after a full day of production and then tried to get him to FN at Exams.
* I went to the Int RPF and caused a major flap as the senior RTC terminal, because the Int RPF space had been made theta with gardens and paths and rock gardens, while at the Int base we were living a life of hell.
* I accepted ordered from the Internal Executive RTC and D/IG Internal Affairs in the mid 90s to divorce my husband of over 15 years based on a session KR which had found him “thinking” unsavoury thoughts about COB, and went so far as to tell him I wanted a divorce (at which point we both collapsed into tears).
* I left people who wanted to leave (such as Mo Bolstad) at OGH (the swamp) on physical hard labour for months as she wanted to leave and I had received orders that she was not allowed to route out and needed to “handle her”.
*I participated in the many, many study orders issued by COB to the entire Int base, which included random policies that we were to wordclear and kept everyone off post for days
* I followed orders to destructively musical chair whole divisions of Gold in an effort to get event properties produced in time (ordered by DM), resulting in massive backlogs in key areas of the org and staff in continual flux. I did this on all flows over a period years, despite having done an RTC investigation on 1995 that revealed that DM had musical chaired Int mamnagement for 5 years to a point where no one executive post had been held by one person for longer than a year (and many posts were like revolving doors and tenure was no longer than a few weeks — such as Establishment Exec Int (EEI)).
* I followed DM orders to “find the crimes” of ED Int (Guillaume) and CO CMO Int (Marc Yager) and Snr CS Int (RayMithoff) and shadowed them for weeks. I dug through their personl belongings, went through their phone records, their bank statements, their desk filing cabinets, their in-baskets, their computer mail, you name it — all to find the “crimes”– which I NEVER found. And then I watched as DM removed these executives, RPFed them, declared them SP, removed their rank, belittled them and J&Ded them, caved them in, and then put them into “The Hole”.
* I, along with many others, permitted DM to cross order the base schedule repeatedly and continually, so that whole sections of the Gold and Int base regularly got next to no sleep (sorry Mike Rinder — I really am sorry about that). I enforced that his orders were followed — despite seeing how off-policy, crazy and destructive it was.
* I personally cooked and serviced DM and his entourage (and guests) for several years, watching as over $1000 worth of food was purchased weekly for less than 10 people, while they dined on fillet mignon and organic vegetables, while the rest of the crew was on gruel, beans and rice.
SO many outpoints. Such denial. When you are in that world — when you are in DM’s universe — you do the most absurd, off-policy and crazy things. And confronting that (and that is far from a complete list), is not pleasant. It is — in my view — why the Sutter’s, Pouws, and many others (including my ex) have refused to look. Why they have attacked persons who do look and try to point out the craziness of the situation. It is crazy, but to admit is, means you have to accept responsibility for the part YOU have played in it.
