Thanks Lakey,
for such a warm welcome.
One of my professional endeavors is writing, but not in English actually... Just so you see a bit were I´m coming from, without giving many specs, as I´m not officially out, nor plan to meet OSA soon...
I was last life-time inside, and worked at SH in an Admin post, nothing spectacular. The point being, i got very entangled with the subject, and after Ron left, it didn´t finish off very well for me. All this charge, and mixed feelings took me almost half of this life-time to unentangle. And the funny part is, I did most of the unentangling with simple Scientology processes!! I came to the conclusion that the guy was "unhuman" in some regards, ICE COLD. Only recently did I pass through the usual cognitive steps:
1. The Church is not run on-policy, the why is DM, who doesn´t follow LRH´s policy.
2. The Church was overtaken by the IRS as there is plenty of evidence out there.
3. Ergo, DM is only a caper.
4. One wants to basically organize a mutiny and REFORM the Church.
5. Further internet reading and investigation, plus my profound initial disaffection with the figure of LRH himself, brings me to read about LRH Jr. other additional data come up.
6. LRH´s contradictions are not anymore justfiable to myself.
7. I recognize the cancer as stemming from LRH, mostly 1967 or 1965 is the data, one takes as his turning point, or going to the dark side.
8. Affirmations and other data come to light, and start to align, not everything is clear. Talking with some exes, that were there from the very beginning.
9. They guy, LRH, is not clean slate at all.
10. The whole mental trap starts to unfold in one´s eyes, just in front of me.
11. Reading more and more about the days on the Apollo and others, adds more confusion to it. Was the guy good or bad? starts to arise.
12. The KSW 1 Implant is crystal clear. How some things are affirmed boldly, but no evidence whatsoever or proof. The hipnosis magician trickery unfolds.
13. I use to write for myself the conclusions I come to, a sort of self-therapy.
14. I come to the conclusion, that the subject though having many truths installed in it, has a deeply entrapping and evil core intent.
15. Still on the path out. My main goal now is not to give up on spiritual search, hence, my nickname. That would be LRH´s deep true desire, that one gives up on the search having the bad experience of having been mislead. That means one needs to work the subject back, backwards, and the biggest clue to it, is it´s dichotomic nature. Means, the truths keep them, and the untruths reverse them. This as rule of thumb, will work out best, most of the times. I jumped on the Power of Now, true words of wisdom. I did an Idenics session, very workable, I´m still looking. I´M FREE TO LOOK AND TO JUDGE BY MYSELF. IT FEELS SO GREATTTTTTTTTT
Thanks to this, I´m having a completely different kind of spiritual realizations now, and seeing realities, I didn´t even know existed, as I was so caged to look right and left. But they WERE THERE!
What´s my point here? It is not the last 5 months, it has taken me to research almost full-time on the internet, it has taken me 2 life-times of being fully entrapped in a MENTAL CAGE (which now i consider one of the worst cages ever, as it is the most subtle and insidious of all cages, the one you put yourself in, and hand out the keys). I think we exes are somehow another breed of cat, having been able to learn from it, and then get out of it. Is like the datum on clashing onto MEST to learn, then deenturbulate onself and gaining the knowledge out of it.
I also believe, that almost every person will go a similar path on getting the blindfold away. Some will conclude it was all for the money, some will still want to preserve the tech, and some simply will not go as far, as to see and look at the core of it, but will stay midways, in a kind of hang-up at doubt. Full and complete taking away of the blindfold may take time, I agree.
In the end, it is all a cognitive dissonance, that needs to be put back into place. And no one can tell you how to go about it. It is a path on your own, same as getting in.
___________________________
Now to your concrete blue statements:
I have read so much, cross-referenced, and re-read, that I could not give you any sources. But it´s pretty much all over internet.
I don't know about developing severe problems with his wife.
"I never had a second wife". in full denial of her, to Granada TV around 1967 or so, the last true interview he had, not the one in SH. Plus a big chunk of the affirmations is on his sexual problems after a sexual act he did with Parson´s with Sara, who was later to become his wife. There is even statements affirming he believed she was a Russian agent. Some other affirm, he wrote SOS purely with the intent to uncover her. There is a very interesting fictious short film showing how he introduced the first "Clear" in LA and was mocked by his wife. Very well staged and dramatized. I believe from her, he formed the whole SP theory and PTS tech, plus the tabulation of 1.1.
I believe you do not quite have this right, I do not think that he wrote the book as fiction.
Well, what I meant here was based on a statement of Sara Northrup affirming that LRH never believed it was gonna become such a bestseller, and that he wrote it somehow for "writer´s fun", and that most of the case stories, were not even based on fact, but PURE FICTION, as per Sara´s statement. There is newspaper articles from the 50s that document her view on LRH´s intent and truth or not re Dianetics. He had done some therapy, but most of the case histories, and the abortion stuff are pure fictious, by Sara´s (his 2nd wife, he "never had") statement.
I believe that prior to college he decided to investigate the subject of man, his mind and how he was put together. He did experiments at George Washington U. using a device called the Koenig photometer, he studied the similar effects of poetry despite what language it was written in and he developed calculations which showed that the human brain only had the capacity to store about 3 monhs worth of data.
He earnestly believed all the Professors in the phychology department had this theory down cold and innocently went over there to verify his results and see how he was doing and while there he found out they didn't know the first thing about the human mind and spirit and what is more they did not want to know. He immediately left college and set out on his own with his writing career.
I´m sorry to disagree here Larkey. Look, the way I see it, is if there is plentiful evidence of compulsive lying, regarding his engineering "career", his nuclear physics career, his naval record and so on, and so on, then one can easily extrapolate, that those PR Church pieces of information may be false also, with a 80% probability of accuracy. What do I mean by that? That if he lied in his naval record, regarding his second wife, regarding his trips to Asia, and so many other topis, we can take an 80% chance of being right, that he lied regarding the Koening device, and the psychologist faculty fairy tale. I agree with you, that because he was not well received by the medical and psychological profession, and being such a deep paranoic narcissit, he couldn´t have it, and build his hate around this professions from that. That doesn´t change the fact, that psychopharma are destructive.
I try to take the PR data I was fed inside, and make google searches about them, and contrast those data with others, and go either by judgement or by intuition. One cannot half full truth re this subject, but a fair take at it.
There was something decent in some part of what he was doing that has to account for extremely intelligent and capable people always being willing to join his ranks. If this was not the case, he would have never gone anywhere.
DEFINITELY. And I fully agree with that, BUT ain´t it the dark frightening side of it, how he has atracted the best of mankind, or let´s say many great able people not to "make them more able", but to make them into "slaves". I re-read and re-read the "Affirmations" time after time, and tried to make them fit, with LRH Jr. allegations that his father was into occultism. I´m not saying here that it is true, what his son says, but much of it rings quite true.
Isn´t it dark, to have an outer onion of TRUTH, plain spiritual truth (lots of truism), COVERING a deep INNER ONION, of DARKNESS (we are the only way out, come on, the OT levels in my view are not true OT levels and don´t deliver), I mean LOTS of darkness? Dichotomic thinking is classical of freemasonry, illuminati, reptilians, the dark forces, the occult, satanism. Do a deep search of it, in Google. Hegelian philosophy, the basis for Marxism, and Nazism, (the 2 philosophies that have cost most harm to humanity) is the explanation of the use of dichotomies. Dichotomies BLOCK THE MIND. And Hubbard knew it. His passion for magick, the occult, dichotomic playing is shown in bits and pieces of his lectures, mainly in the PDC. The only difference between Hubbard and Crowley, that Crowley was overt, and not very popular, as mainstream majority of people wouldn´t buy into occultism, Hubbard was COVERT about it. LRH Jr, said, "Scientology is black magic spread over a long period of time." Something to deeply investigate and think about, before discarding this statement. Not because it seems so extreme, doesn´t mean it isn´t true. Remember LRH´s statement that one way to cover TRUTH is make it completely unbelievable. Another occult and magician way of thinking. Much of the tech, can be understood reversedly, as Black Dianetics, and not necessarily just from a Miscavian point of view...
The insidiousness of LRH and Scientology is this Dichotomic construct, that blocks one´s mind fully. Scientology cannot be understood from the MIND, but from the HEART!! Read the Power of Now, and you will se my point.
Yes and No. The first instinct, which is what I went through, was that Hubbard was basically good and well motivated and most of the tech is absolutely priceless but that Miscavige and his Management team ruined the Church. It takes many of us a long time and a tremendous confront to finally break L. Ron Hubbard's hold over us. For me, it took a solid 4 years on the internet but then I had a tremendous amount of wins from Scientology. It seems that in general,, there are exceptions, the more gains one had from Scn the harder it is to break Hubbard's hold over one's mind and this concept certainly is logical and makes sense.
I fully agree on that. It is VERY HARD to fully get unchained mentally from it. It took me 40 years of this lifetime and another 20 of last one, to finally "start" seeing it as it is. BUT, I won a lot on the process. By contrast, I know now what is not a spiritual path and what IS.
My whole intent with the fairy tale post, was to see how people react to it. I constructed somehow three parallel possibilities, and the fourth one was put by another poster. All ring true. Now the points is that some contradict the other. This CONTRADICTING NATURE is the core construct of Scientology, AND of LRH´s personality. That´s why some say, "he was not human", "he seemed human", yes, in appearance, but by his actions, to his son Quentin, to his wife, such a coldness is not NATURAL to a human being. Not even Hitler would treat his close associates, Eva Braun, or his dog with such coldness.
I will post soon another fairy tale, fairy tale number 5, in which Hubbard is a construct from the dark forces and came here with a clear agenda, which he somehow hasn´t fullfilled. Let´s see guys how you like that one. I bet Mystic will love that one, hahaha.
Well, I extended myself very much, but writing this is therapeutic to me. Aren´t we all here somehow to be therapized for free by this forum?
Let´s not make it so serious though! ETERNITY IS OURS. No one can take this from us. We might have lost 1, 1/2 or 2 lifetimes, but who cares, eternity and a billion years are much, much longer!!
The experience of getting in, and then out has made us so much stronger and WISER. Hasn´t it?
