Growing up Scientology
1975 - 1980 (ish)
This story is not for the faint hearted. Read on, if you wish. I will have to do in segments, as it covers thirty years.
When I was born, my mother was already on staff in a Cl V org. She really wanted to join the Sea Org, but, per her, my father would not have it. He was also in staff in the same org. (My mother told me stories about him which I don't know if they are true as I did not hear his side). I also have an older brother. Both of us used to hang out at the org with her.
I remember one time my brother got bored and disappeared. The police brought him back in to the org. He had gone outside onto a four lane street and was walking on the yellow line. He was four or five at that time. Another time he was found walking down the street by a friend about 1/2 mile from the org. The friend asked him where he was going, and he said he was walking to his grandparents house (500 miles away). He brought him back to the org.
A few years later, I dont know exactly, my dad got in trouble and got himself declared. He was then pretty much out of our lives. Now that he wasnt around to stop my mom, she decided to join the Sea Org. She packed us all up and took the car to California to join the Sea Org, which she did.
This put me and my brother in the CEO (Cadet Estates Org), which at that time, was next to CCI, on Franklin and Bronson.
As we got a bit older, and I guess more independant, we kinda went off on our own. I do know that I hardly ever saw my mom. She was constantly being sent on mission. She would show up every few months or so and visit for a few days, on family time, then leave again.
I remember many times when she would come for family time and just sleep. Or just stare off into space. I asked her "what are you thinking about?" and she would tell me "post" and I would ask if she always thinks about post on family time, does she think about her family on post time? (thinking that maybe she thought of us sometimes? Maybe for a little bit?). No answer. I felt so ignored.
Anyways, I love my mother, and I forgive her, if she ever reads this. Unfortunately, I am sure she is oblivious to what she did and has done to her kids. (And what the Sea Org has done to her).
At one point, my brother managed to contact our father and he came to visit us every week! That was so cool! And then my mom was getting all sick and stuff and we wanted to stay and live with our dad for the rest of our lives!! And she got even sicker and then one day in the middle of the night we left the area and went back to LA. Never to see my dad again. She even cancelled child support from him.
So back in LA, with no real control of us, we pretty much did whatever we wanted. I had no idea how to get money so I learned how to steal from my brother. And we did alot of that. I also learned that if I sat on this guys lap for a while, he would give me money too. And another guy too would touch me with his hands and he gave me money too. I was oh, 10 - 13 years old through all of this. Where was my mom? I don't remember. I didnt even learn how to brush my teeth - nobody around taught me a thing. And if I couldnt find anyone to "earn" money from (as above), I could steal from vending machines, or the mexican wogs who made our food.
I am not claiming innocence in this. I am just telling my story. (But the church really makes you feel guilty and responsible for it!).
I was doing alright in school, except I remember one time a girl telling me that I was always wearing the exact same dress every day. I probably was. I didnt even notice. Also my hair was always tangled and I could not get it fixed and I had lice so many times. (I am NOT a disguisting bum, but it sure sounds like it!).
Later, I got sent to speech class, which REALLY upset me and I decided not to go to school anymore. I ditched like, oh 98% of the time. I remember many times they (my brother, my step dad and my mom) tried to get me to school. It is kinda humorous: My dad tried twice, first time he ran out of gas and didnt have enough money to get me to school and back to post, second time the car broke down. My brother brought me to the bus and watched me get on. He told me he would be there to pick me up when the bus returned me, to be sure I went. So when he turned around, I told the driver I had to go to BR, and ran out of the bus, spent the whole day roaming the city (after having stolen a box of snickers and started feeding them to all the neighborhood dogs). Then when it was time to pick me up, I was around the corner and as the buses unloaded, I just blended in with the crowd.
Yep, I missed as much school as I could. Any excuse was good for me: It was raining, the sun was shining, anything to get out of school.
I remember one time my friend invited me to her house. I stayed over for 3 months before my mom found me. I had stopped going to school entirely. She was pretty mad at me.
Ok, I was not the perfect child, but I had no-one but my brother raising me, if he was.
More later.
Please tell me what era this was, was his the early era or the golden era...
joking aside What year was this.
Not that it mattered, sounds like it may have been while was in the SO.
I saw the same type of institutional abuse of Scientology staff kids.
I won't go into my own story here but ther are mirrors... Your story made me laugh.
btw... screw guilt..
After a life lived, lost whatever I have discovered thorugh my experience that Scienology and every other "mission" destroys familys. It destroyed mine and I learned that the most important thing in this world is in fact family.
Perhaps your Scientology parent would think differently if they thought that they would inherrit the results of your progeny in their future life.
In my talks with my son pre-birth I came to an understanding that I have been living through time in this one blood line for a long time. Our spiritual growth IS part of our DNA that we pass down to our children.
Our children thus provide the only perfect match for us to inhabit and continue this game. I could not, as I thought as a kid, end up as a starving kid in Africa next life, for example, because my GE is matched to this blood line.
Thus having children gives you a right, a position, to bodies of progony of your own blood line.
I think I was my Grandfather, and that my son is my brother who died over 20 years ago.
My son would go exterior during sleep time and I encouraged him to stay in touch with his advisors and ansetors during that time while I would watch his body.
I then came to realize that Richard, my brother, is one of his close and trusted ansestors and advisors. He would and I think still does, check with this source often
One day he woke up histerical.
He looked at me like he had lost his father. He was very traumatised.
I ran a locational and what came to me in the end was that when he came back to his body he came back as Richard, and when he looked at me I was his brother, so where was hs daddy?
His daddy being gone was a hugh upset for him, and we finally came to a peace that while I was his brother while he was Richard, I was his father as Liam. In reality thos lables didn't really mean much. I would be here in either or any identity.
A locational brought him back and thus me but it was very traumatic and eye opening.
It seems that what you do with your own children is the only way we can change the worlds future.
Now, at 54, I am the full time, 24/7 stay at home dad for my 2 year old son and only child. I am raising him to be free but not follow anyology.
I say if it has a lable it is far too limited.
My son, and thus my famly, is now my mission, my life and all I care about.
You could measure the amount of time I have spent away from him in hours... I will raise him, home school him, and continue that mission until my death.
I wonder now why he will hate me later? LOL
Love to chat more
Dave
My father on persisting through org lines.
"The supreme test of a theatan is the ability to wait until things go right".
blackhat!
