Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology PART 4

Discussion in 'Evaluating and Criticising Scientology' started by HelluvaHoax!, Apr 25, 2017.

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  1. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Gold Meritorious Sponsor

    .


    SCIENTOLOGY KOAN DU JOUR:

    Does Scientology's miraculous tech--that doesn't actually work,
    actually work on a small number of exceptional people,
    because--they are exceptionally stupid and therefore
    don't notice or even care that it didn't work?


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  2. Type4_PTS

    Type4_PTS Diamond Invictus SP

    Scientology "tech" does work. It just doesn't work in the way its advertised.

    It doesn't create Clears or OT's. And the stat for Number of Scientologists that achieved Total Freedom has steadily remained at 0 for 68 years now.

    But Hubbard was worth hundreds of millions just before his departure to Target Two, and to a degree he successfully achieved his objective to enslave many (for which he acknowledged his intent in the "Admissions") So his tech to achieve THOSE things was pretty successful.

    I do believe he succeeded at "smashing his name into history", and will go down as one of the greatest conmen of the 20th century.

    Hubbard has much to teach any aspiring cult leaders, and some individuals, such as Charles Manson and David Miscavige, have already used the "tech" to achieve their own objectives.
     
    Last edited: Aug 7, 2018
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  3. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Gold Meritorious Sponsor

    Well, on the bright side of things, it would only require a very minor tweak to Scientology's BIG LEAGUE LIE CLOSING TECHNIQUES for their marketing to not be fraudulent.

    All that would be required for Scientology to "get honest and straight" is to change. . .

    THE WORLD'S FASTEST GROWING RELIGION!

    to. . .​

    THE WORLD'S MOST STABLY GROWING RELIGION!


    Truth in advertising!

    Zero-Point-Zero (0.0%) annual growth rate (of anyone achieving Clear or OT) for 68 straight years is truly a stable stable-datum! lol
     
    Last edited: Aug 8, 2018
  4. programmer_guy

    programmer_guy True Ex-Scientologist

    For example, does the e-meter pinch test work? Yes.
    Does this then imply that everything that reads on an e-meter is always true? No.

    This is one logical fallacy of if A implies B then, therefore, B implies A.


    All chevrolet camaros are automobiles but this doesn't, therefore, imply that all automobiles are chevrolet camaros.

    Also, a polygraph test is not admissible in a court-of-law for proof of guilt or innocence. Guess why.
     
    Last edited: Aug 8, 2018
  5. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Gold Meritorious Sponsor

    Scientologists always fail the pinch test.

    When investing decades and upwards of a half-million dollars to attain the states of Clear/OT---after which they have exactly NONE of the supposed paranormal powers---what a normal is supposed to do is pinch themselves ask:

    "AM I DREAMING AND THIS IS ALL TOTAL BULLSHIT?"

    It's a koan and the cognition is: "OMG AM I STUPID STUPID!"
     
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  6. DagwoodGum

    DagwoodGum Odds Are, Therefore I Am, I Think. Goody Gum Drops

    But the answer you seek is already present in your above statement.
    "KNOWING-HOW-TO-KNOW" is a step and a chasm removed from KNOWING.
    By planting in your mind that you will know how to know and getting your agreement and satisfaction with that you become a willing NOT KNOWER because at least you would know how to know if you ever had to.
    Which is at the other end of the spectrum from actually knowing.
    So as long as you think you know how to know as a result of Scientology they don't ever have to ever provide you with any approximation of actual knowledge.
    Which now you know.
     
  7. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Gold Meritorious Sponsor

    .

    Cross-posted from another thread discussing the mystically inscrutable "Reactive Mind". It is unknowable mainly because its presence can never be predicted nor known by the knowing-how-to-know people.

    To wit, the reactive mind is never present when Scientologists are asked by wogs about the glorious state of Clear---but it's always present when a Scientologist is speaking to their advanced spiritual master & guide1 who gives them their next KSW Koan2 to meditate on and solve.


    1 advanced spiritual master & guide -noun: The registrar

    2 KSW Koan -noun: 1. A standard Scientology auditing command, the answer when discovered produces floating needles, delighted laugher and enlightenment. 2. Able Scientologists who nonetheless are un-able to solve the KSW Koan are graciously provided a new "One Shot Repair Koan" at no extra cost, consisting of the looking deep within their own spiritual essence in order to divine an answer to the question: "How could you make it go right to borrow and/or increase your credit card limits so that you can flow MEST money up lines to bigger beings who will then selflessly help you end your trillion-year-old downward spiral into the small, disgracefully low-havingness, no-status, degraded broke ass being you are today?"


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    HellYeah!

    Big goals by Big Beings---to clear the planet! Big promises, that the tech works on everyone! Well, everyone except SPs.

    THE SITUATION: 68 years of the "modern science of mental health" frantically and fanatically trying (yet failing) to make their first clear.

    THE WHY: Quite apparently everyone Scientology ever audited since 1950 is an SP.

    HELPFUL TIP TO PLANET CLEARERS: Instead of trying to "clear the planet" (7.4 billion people), why not cut back the gradient by slightly modifying the goal and running this auditing command: "Look around the planet and locate one (1) person who is NOT an SP".


    CONCLUSION: It would be such a tragedy if all 7.4 billion humans were audited but NONE of them went clear---which would mean all 7.4 billion are SPs! What an awful shame it would be to waste Dr. Hubbard's miraculously brilliant, effective & perfectly workable tech on a planet exclusively populated by SPs.

    ELSEWHERE IN THE UNIVERSE: In deep space (Target II) the most OT being that ever existed (Dr. Hubbard) looks out at the night sky, gazing in the direction of a slave planet 75 million light years away--and suddenly cognites and types into his mobile phone: "Note to self---do not get DevT'd by taking miraculous technology that works on all beings to a planet where all the SPs were dumped. Shit, Xenu was not evil, he was simply using my disconnection tech so that must have been me!"


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    Last edited: Aug 13, 2018 at 10:52 PM
  8. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Gold Meritorious Sponsor

    .

    Scientology Paradox # 463:.

    Every training and auditing level in Scientology has "pre-requisites" in order to qualify and begin it. The entire Bridge and "Total Freedom" itself is achieved only by doing OT I through OT XV.

    The pre-requisite of beginning OT 1 is "Clear" and "ethics clearance" resulting in an invitation to do that advanced level.

    However, nobody ever could have conceivably met and satisfied these qualifications because:

    • Nobody ever attained Clear--which clearly is demonstrated by the observable fact that Clears have a perfect memory, and therefore they would have remembered all the supernatural abilities Hubbard promised (that they clearly never got) when they reached the state of Clear.
    • Nobody could have legitimately ever gained "ethics clearance" since having falsely attested to Clear (and all the preceding levels below it) would mean the PC is grossly out-ethics and guilty of an unhandled "high crimes"-- and thereby unqualified to do OT levels.
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