I told you I was trouble
Suspended animation
Actually, I'm sure I didn't process the emotional burden of cancer in a healthy way. I was manic cancer fighter. I was cheerful and cooperative and even though I cried a bit, mostly I was the "perfect" patient. I had a positive attitude and of course I inspired everyone around me.
I spent much of my time comforting those around me who reacted with sorrow or grief when they found out my diagnosis. It's what I do. It's what we were trained to do. I enjoyed being surrounded by love and compassion. It never occured to me that I should be scared, sad, angry or even concerned. I did a "handling" on myself and my cancer.
That's not normal kids.
It isn't normal, I agree completely.
I once flicked a heartbreaking loss off in a matter of a few days ("handled myself") when I should have grieved like a human being, and it kind of just sat there well hidden and waited (for decades) till I was able to process it, minus the cultic conditioning.
I actually took pride in showing the world how bloody clever I was and how I was able to "handle myself under extreme duress, using the tek" ... and normal people must have thought I was a very strange and weird person (and they were right).
I'm glad you are OK GT and I'm extra glad that you came back home (to us).
I once flicked a heartbreaking loss off in a matter of a few days ("handled myself") when I should have grieved like a human being, and it kind of just sat there well hidden and waited (for decades) till I was able to process it, minus the cultic conditioning.
I actually took pride in showing the world how bloody clever I was and how I was able to "handle myself under extreme duress, using the tek" ... and normal people must have thought I was a very strange and weird person (and they were right).
I'm glad you are OK GT and I'm extra glad that you came back home (to us).