Comm-ev and Summary
The comm-ev was a farce (as they usually are). Just like comm-ev’s in the past, judgement had already been made, but unlike previous comm-evs, I didn’t particularly fight the injustice this time.
The chairman did his thing, and it was obvious where he was at. As usual it was taped, and he was certainly “playing” the role, for those who would hear the tape. Two of the members “appeared” neutral, and one had her head down and obviously felt rotten about the whole thing (I even felt sorry for her a bit).
I was accused of much, and was asked to respond to the charges, so I did. I answered honestly, and gave the relevant info re each charge. I answered the questions that came up as a result of my responses, but those questions were few. In addition to that, the chairman asked many questions of his or the committees own making. It was surreal, cause if they had been listening to my responses in the first place, or actually looked at the data right in front of their faces, then the insanity of the questions would have been obvious. The questions were based on the assumption that I had admitted guilt on everything, and they were actually sec check questions, but just simply asked. I can’t remember them all, but the following are some:
- Have you had any other out 2D, besides the one with Bob? (didn’t have the one with Bob, what d’ya mean any other?)
- Have you been involved in any sort of prostitution since being in the church? (yeah, right!)
- Do you now feel remorse for blowing the sec check? (not a sec check, no remorse)
- Are you willing to resume the sec check? (not a sec check and no way)
- How much money have you made from the volcano? (none, cost me 75k directly, not including cost of intensives for “real’ sec check and lost income due to lost time )
- Is there anyone else who has made financial gain from the volcano? (no, only financial loss and a major mind fu’k)
- Are you intending on using Dianetics or Scientology in any way, which could result in financial benefit for yourself or others? (yeah right, like it’s there for the taking)
After the comm-ev, I was surprised that I didn’t get mad and/or react to those questions, but by that time I had had enough. I was over it, and I remember thinking “what’s the point?”
For whatever reason, I was just allowed to “fade away” after that. There were comm-ev findings and of course I was guilty of every charge – including out 2D, blowing a sec check, and ripping off the church for personal financial gain. There were recommendations, but I never got to do them. I had already left the church by then.
For the record – I have NEVER experienced and have NEVER seen or heard of a comm-ev, where the person was found innocent. Comm-ev’s were definitely NOT a fact finding body in my 18 years experience in the CofS. If a comm-ev was ever issued, it was a foregone conclusion to all of us, that guilt was already pre determined, and the comm-ev was just a formality that would just add salt to the wound.
In summary
My hubby , the boys and I started a new life after this. We closed up our businesses, left the city, and bought into a 37 acre “hobby farm” with two other partners. It was a great distraction in regard to my introversion, loneliness and “loss”. For two years after my last chapter in the org, besides some part time work and the kids, I just got stuck into working on the property - gardening, landscaping, tractor work, clearing barbed wire, clearing blackberries, old stumps etc. It was extroverting work which I was used to and liked (as a kid, we had a mixed farm – a family affair for sure – on the Canterbury Plains in NZ). It was the perfect move for us. The boys were 8, 10 and 11 at the time. The bush, the horses, the motorbikes, the dam, the tractor, the chooks, the dogs the pig, the space to run around (and even the bloody snakes) etc, etc, etc - made it a real adventure for them. Having “mum and dad” back in spirit again, wasn’t bad either.
Our eldest is back in the city now, working as an international flight consultant, and doing very well. We are very good friends - we talk a lot, he visits here, and we visit him. The youngest two are still living at home (thank goodness per me, maybe not per hubby), and will probably stay with us, till they finish uni or find a girl who’ll do for them what mum does. They love it on this property, and share it with their mates - motor bikes, bush bashers, go-carts, pool parties, bonfire gatho’s, a cabin to entertain their mates and/or girls, and not forgetting the odd game of cricket on the lawn or footy in the paddock.
Hubby still commutes to the city for work, but I am working on a small development project, which will mean that he will soon have more time for surfing (which he does all year round and loves). I love it here amongst the garden, the trees and the bush, and there’s nothing like seeing the kookaburra so happily perched on my clothes line, or the sound of the cockatoos when they arrive in their hundreds to pick on the pine cones from the trees over the back.
Things are good for us. I can’t say that I regret my time in Scientology – cause I don’t. It wasn’t all bad. It gave me life and love and through it I learnt so much. Everything has turned out for the best for me, and besides that, the various lessons I’ve learned, I wouldn’t be without. We have been fortunate – I am truly sorry for and feel for those who haven’t been!
I wrote up this final episode/chapter for the benefit of others (I thought). I felt I had an obligation to do so. But since doing so, I have been pleasantly surprised on what it’s done for me. I didn’t realise what a cloud I had hanging over me, until I wrote up this stuff, posted it, and got your responses. I had always taken the episode too personally, and to a large extent was still introverted on it. I am not now. I now see the whole thing as it was – an effort by the CofS to just shut me up, and stop any influence I might have, by putting me into a hole.
I’m certainly way out of the hole now
. I have my fight back, and have restored my purpose to help – but this time, I’m on the other side of the fence
.
Thank you Emma for the board and support, and to all of you for your support to me and to the many on the board. Luv ya for it
!
Cheers,
Ceedia
:confused2: . Bloody lovely
!
findin just the right one, 
