Realizing my mistakes in placing my trust in them

[Enthetan]

Among the things to look at is the Debbie Cook email

Debbie Cook was Captain of the Flag Service Org for many years. She finally decided to write up her list of "out points" and emailed them to 12,000 Scientologists. Needless to say, that caused a bit of a stir.

You should read it, at the link above.

 

[TheOriginalBigBlue]

There is a possibility that your husband has developed some doubts as well but he is masking this out of dedication or fear of consequences or even because he doesn't know how you would react. At the same time it is becoming harder to avoid the revelations and other people who know the truth. Time favors those who want to disconnect from the church.

The problem with not being resolute is it gives the church an opening to try to handle you. All these things: ethics handlings, 2D handlings, Conditions, Sec-Checks, Freeloader Debts are designed to represent the church's interests over those of you and your family. The only true leverage they have is your desire to maintain good standing with them so you can receive services and not get disconnected.

If you are willing to walk away from all of that then they have no control over you.

Find out what it is like to be a Scientology kid:

http://exscientologykids.com/eskforums/index.php?sid=5bf01ec2fc974a14d5f528ae96012d87

 

[WildKat]

The only true leverage they have is your desire to maintain good standing with them so you can receive services and not get disconnected.

If you are willing to walk away from all of that then they have no control over you.
http://exscientologykids.com/eskforums/index.php?sid=5bf01ec2fc974a14d5f528ae96012d87

That's it in a nutshell.

By the way, I also recommend do NOT go in for handlings, discussions, free sessions or anything. Don't go into the org, don't let them come into your house.

 

[Enthetan]

The problem with not being resolute is it gives the church an opening to try to handle you. All these things: ethics handlings, 2D handlings, Conditions, Sec-Checks, Freeloader Debts are designed to represent the church's interests over those of you and your family. The only true leverage they have is your desire to maintain good standing with them so you can receive services and not get disconnected.

If you are willing to walk away from all of that then they have no control over you.

Or, as Janis Joplin put it, sometimes freedom's just another word for "nothing left to lose"

[video=youtube;CQ-QfMv7Fzw]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CQ-QfMv7Fzw[/video]

The only way to be truly free of them, is to be willing to walk away from whatever they can exercise control over.

 

[Ogsonofgroo]

Among the things to look at is the Debbie Cook email

Debbie Cook was Captain of the Flag Service Org for many years. She finally decided to write up her list of "out points" and emailed them to 12,000 Scientologists. Needless to say, that caused a bit of a stir.

You should read it, at the link above.

Yup. And so much more.

Ask him why people at the Orgs. ect. etc., are so afraid of watching anything remotely critical, didn't Hubbard himself, (in a probably drunken stupour), say for people to go check shit out for yourself? ( :hilarious: ) How can something proclaiming to be so open, be so very, very closed? Its a trap, and your're in it, and all I can say from my point of view is... run the hell away, take the kids and run. I know nothing about you, do not know you, and I add my welcomes here ( ), as well as best wishes for you and your family. When the money runs out, the kids are taken in, things start to go side-ways (as they usually do when involved with mind-raping cults), then you'll know where to find some commiseration...... here.

 

[arcxcauseblows]

i'd pull a katie holmes

 

[FlagEmDown]

Pardon me for being blunt. I see you're in a very messy situation and I only wish you the best.
Please consider, seriously, what the effects of auditing will have on your exes 6 year old. To me, this is child abuse and can screw up a child's brain and emotional development irretrievably.
I will have nightmares about your exes child tonight. Please, above all, if you can, save her from this treatment.

 

[afaceinthecrowd]

Domestic Witch,

My heart goes out to you and you have great courage and clarity of mind to find your way here and open yourself to all of Us.

Phenomenon wrote you, IMHO, a very succinct and heartfelt response...http://www.forum.exscn.net/showthre...rust-in-them&p=1070988&viewfull=1#post1070988. Phenomenon got into Scn in the mid 1950's or so. She knew and personally interacted with El Ron, Hisself, and has a long history as a highly trained and experienced Auditor, is a "straight shooter" and her Posts on ESMB are an unglossed, untinted and untainted window into the Genus of Scn and the Psyche of Hubbard.

I got into Scn in the mid 1960's or so and spent a few of years as Public, a few years as Service Org Staff and over a decade in the Sea Org. I spent virtually all my SO years as Apollo Crew, Flag Crew and "Special Unit" Staff and was--amongst other things--an Int Management Senior Exec, then Commodores Staff and "ultimately" LRH Personal Staff and personally knew and interacted daily one-on-one with El Ron, Hisself.

I had children that were "born into" the SO and Scn. 30 years ago or so their mother and I took them and walked away. We did not want them to grow up in the SO culture and solely Scn environment. The first years were tough...real tough...but today they all have Masters Degrees from First Tier Universities, wonderfully successful careers in service to Humanity and happy lives...Sans Scn and the "Tech". It hasn't always been easy and there's been lots of heartache and frustration along the way but, it's truly the best thing I've ever done.

Scn is all about Status, Persona, Conformity, Penance, Self Adulation, Self Deprecation, Self Absorption, Personal Desires and "ME" now, Now, NOW!

Parenting is all about Steadfastness, Sacrifice, Humility, Humor, Candor, Pain, Sorrow, Reflection, Joy and Love.

Ultimately, I think what led me out of the Scn Labyrinth was attending Husband Coached Childbirth Classes with my children's mother and assisting and watching my children's crown and form came into this world, draw first breath and the shimmering color and glow of life lighting their faces. At that moment, promises were made...And daddy (and mommy) somehow kept enough of those promises that, miraculously, all has turned out well. It's been breathtaking!

There are some very smart, experienced and downright decent Folks here on ESMB that have and will give you much better advice than I regarding what to do in your current situation.

However, my 2 cents is that no matter what you do, follow your instincts and Heart as a mother and parent and take care of yourself...You are the gateway, caretaker and shepherd of a new and unique life and No One knows what the future holds.

Best Wishes,

Face

 

[Enthetan]

You might enjoy this thread (The Truth Rundown):

http://www.forum.exscn.net/showthre...cientology-Mind-Control&p=1070961#post1070961

 

[4Dogs12Cats]

Domestic Witch: I am a never-in, but a supporter of exs. What I do have in common with you is I am a Mother. Your number one consideration right now is your baby. By your post, I know you are thinking that way. As an observer and reader of these Boards and others, I encourage you to keep reading and keep reaching out. (Do keep identifying info safe) There are so many here who been where you are. I have observed much kindness and understanding and support among the exes. There are those that will help you. Please whatever you do, follow the advice given to not go back. The internet is filled with stories of those did and lived to regret it. I hope you can get out with your marriage intact, but know you must consider yourself and your child first. Definitely read the Debbie Cook letter you were pointed to earlier in the thread. Know as well, there are people in the world, who have never been in, who will support you and understand. You are in a tough spot for sure, but try to keep your mind focused and untrapped. I wish you well. Listen to the exes here and elsewhere. Read and learn to trust them. Just my outsider 2 cents.

 

[TrevAnon]

Hi there Witch, welcome!

I am a never in who doesn't have his own advice, and I guess I don't need to as others who were once in have given so much excellent advice.

I get right now the Leah Remini book has you reading all kinds of entheta . Earlier this year the Going Clear movie was released. ESMB user "Intentionally Blank", who looks to be in a similar position as yours, then started this thread:

http://www.forum.exscn.net/showthread.php?38741-Going-Clear-The-Pink-Elephant-s-Cherry-is-Popped

You may want to check it.

Also, do you know there is a list of > 2,600 ex-COS-members who have spoken out against the church? It's here:

http://whyweprotest.wikia.com/wiki/Former_Church_of_Scientology_members_who_have_spoken_out

That's even more entheta!

More serious: hang in there, I hope you will be able to get out of this tough situation.

 

[I told you I was trouble]

awwww gee. You are in a tuff spot. Don't go back in. Tell them anything. Tell them your Dr has demanded bed rest for the next 9 months. Tell your hubby that you are only interested in the well-being of your child, and you feel that the stress of an ethics handling will not be good for baby. Tell him that the late nite phone calls etc are upsetting you, and it's not 'good' for you or your unborn child. Tell him to 'handle' the Org on your behalf. Tell him that you are "out of comm" because the pregnancy is demanding your attention, and your body's ruds are your primary concern.
Good luck to you.
Don't tell him that you are reading this site.
Poor girl. I feel badly for you.
Stay with us here. We are your friends.

I agree with the above post ... but also as soon as you feel ready and able (ideally before the baby arrives) tell him the truth ... ie that things have changed now and you are absolutely unwilling to subject your baby to any cult control and that you are thoroughly disillusioned with scientology yourself (if true) and if he takes offense or dares to put the cult first (over you and your baby) then he isn't worthy of your love and commitment.

Possibly finding out that you are a distant second to a mad cult is the risk you will be taking when you tell him how you feel, it won't be easy, it could go either way but please don't let those indoctrinated and often heartless people anywhere near your precious baby, they do not have a good track record with infants and children.

I know you have been directed to a lot of threads but please read Scooters story (it is very relevant, flick down to post number 1 and perhaps just read his posts ... it's a very long thread) and take extra care of yourself and your little one at all times, this is meant to be a special time for you and your husband not a time for stress and drama created by people who are controlled and controlling, don't let them dictate to you, they are not your friends.

Scooterstory

I wish you luck and am so glad you joined us.

 

[Enthetan]

Please whatever you do, follow the advice given to not go back. The internet is filled with stories of those did and lived to regret it. I hope you can get out with your marriage intact, but know you must consider yourself and your child first.

Especially as a pregnant woman, you should avoid stressful situations. Setting foot into the Org, if they think you are disaffected, WILL BE an extremely stressful situation.

Speaking from my own experience, I was once held against my will in an org, under threat of violence, until I agreed to submit to sec checking. You do NOT want to experience that in your present condition. It's possible it could become stressful enough to put you at risk of miscarriage.

Read up on "gang bang sec check"

 

[Enthetan]

You might also check out the Sara Northrup thread. I just posted video that shows LRH lying (he actually puts several lies into the interview, but the one I noted was the most clumsy)

 

[TrevAnon]

Lol, now I'm all paranoid about "being found out." Raging pregnancy hormones probably don't help.

Thank you everyone for your responses! I'm getting a little too nervous to keep posting but I promise I appreciate every one of them and am giving all of your pieces of advice plenty of thought.

I hope you weren't / she wasn't scared away as in never to be posting again.

 

[Enthetan]

I hope you weren't / she wasn't scared away as in never to be posting again.

She can still post. Just be very careful in giving details that might indicate which org or city she's in, or other clues to her identity.